Being Dead Ain't Easy
by D. Draggy
Summary: Tragedy strikes. Joey Wheeler is gone forever. Or is he? Joey POV. Post Duelist Kingdom AU. Will eventually be sort of Seto/Joey. *Complete*
1. The No Good, Very Bad Day

**Summary:**  Tragedy strikes.  Joey Wheeler is gone forever.  Or is he?  Joey POV.  Post Duelist Kingdom AU.  Will eventually be Seto/Joey shounen-ai.

**Author's Notes:**  Well, I thought I'd try writing a YuGiOh fic.  I've never posted at fanfiction.net before, so we'll see how it goes, shall we?

This is the final version of this story.   I am not going to mess with it anymore (unless I find some horrible typo or something...).  I'm going to leave most of the header stuff untouched, like review responses and stuff.  However, I have changed the disclaimers in the first few chapters a little bit ^_^

Sorry it took me so long to post this updated version.  I know at least one person was waiting for it (sorry, elz!).

**Warnings:**  Character death (sort of), language, angst, eventual Seto/Joey.

**Disclaimers:**  I don't own YuGiOh or any other brand names you might come across.  No shoelaces were harmed in the making of this fic.

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**Being Dead Ain't Easy**

**Chapter One:  The No Good, Very Bad Day**

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Man, it's been a crappy day.  Compared to all the other crappy days I've had, this was one of the crappiest, and believe me, I've had some pretty lousy days.  Yeah, it started out okay, but as it went on, it reached a whole new level of suckage.

You wanna know why?

Tough, I'll tell you anyway.  Heh, misery loves to share.  And I've got more than enough to spread around.

So… where to start?  This morning okay with you?

Woke up, went to the bathroom, did my business, got dressed, the usual morning routine.  Snuck around the apartment, grabbed my school stuff, tiptoed past my old man passed out on the floor (yeah he's been drinkin' again), and off to school I went.  So far, so good.  All in all, a pretty average day so far.

Went to school.  Didn't learn a thing, but it's worth it just to see my buddies, ya know?  We clowned around, had some fun.  Maybe too much fun, 'cause the teacher gave me a detention.  At least Kaiba got one, too.  Maybe I should throw stuff at him more often, take Moneybags down a notch or two.  Or three or four.  I _still_ think I shouldn't have gotten a detention.  I mean, _he_ started it!  What, does the teacher expect me to just stand there and let him call me a chihuahua!?

Anyways, it was pouring rain when I finally got outta there, and I didn't have an umbrella.  Kaiba was still at the school doin' schooly stuff.  That's a pretty good thing, 'cause after a detention with him, the _last_ thing I wanna hear is him calling me a wet dog.  I shiver a bit.  Damn, it's cold.  I'm gonna be drenched by the time I get home.

I start walkin'.  I'm pretty miserable.  Rain's washing the hairgel outta my oh so silky locks and my hair's gettin' in my eyes.  My shoelaces come untied and I just stuff 'em back into my shoes.  At least I don't live too far from the school.  Another fifteen minutes and I'll be home.

Here's when my day went bad.

I look up and see Kaiba's limo whiz past.  I'm guessin' he just picked up his kid brother from school or something after detention.  Stinkin' rich Kaiba.  He has his own freakin' LIMO!  He's about the same age as me, and he's got his own company, his own mansion, his own _everything_.  His bro's okay, I guess.  I hope he doesn't grow up into a mini-Seto Kaiba.

Man, I wish I had a limo.  I bet it's all nice and cozy in there, eh, Kaiba?  Dry, too.  All shiny and black.  Courtesy of Kaiba Corp.  I look a little closer.  Heh, I guess your limo's not so great after all, 'cause there's smoke comin' outta the trunk.

Waitaminute.

Smoke comin' outta the trunk?

Alright, it's none of my business, but that's a bad thing, right?  So I start runnin' after the limo.  Doesn't take too long to catch up 'cause it suddenly starts zigzagging all over the street, crashes into a lamppost, and explodes.  Whole thing's covered in flames.

Damn.

Don't get me wrong, okay?  I hate Kaiba.  Hate him.  But it's my civic duty or something to try and rescue him, and besides, his little bro's in there.  Probably a driver in there, too.

I run up to the burnin' wreck and try to get the door open.  It's too hot, so I hafta sorta use my jacket as insulation to get my hands on the handle.  It's no good; the door's kinda melted.  I hear banging and screaming coming from the inside.  Screaming sounds like Mokuba.  I hear more banging against the door.  Kaiba must be kickin' the door from his end.

The screaming's stopped.

That's a bad thing.

I pull, he kicks, and between the two of us, the door goes flyin' off its hinges and I go flyin' with it.  Not a moment too soon, either, 'cause my jacket's caught fire and I barely have time to get rid of it.

Kaiba rolls outta the ex-limo with his brother in his arms.  He staggers a bit. He's in bad shape.  Mokuba's passed out, but he's not hurt too bad.

I take a quick look into the wreck.  Can't get too close 'cause the whole thing's on fire, but the driver's either knocked out or dead.  I'm guessin' dead, 'cause it looks like a bomb's gone off in his face.  I try to get to him, but the fire's too much.  I can hear firetrucks coming, so maybe they'll be able to get him out, 'cause I sure as hell can't.

Kaiba's hunched over in pain.  The rain's plastering his hair to his head.  His trench coat's ripped up and he's got burns all over him, but he notices me and straightens out.  Aww, ya shouldn't have.

I say so.

He glares at me but doesn't say nothin'.  Fine, be that way!  Guess he can't be that badly hurt if he's still got the energy to be a prick. 

So I turn around and leave.

…Yeah right.  You think I'd just leave 'em like that? Of _course_ I didn't turn around and leave!  What kinda monster do ya take me for!?

I walk up to Mr. CEO.  "Kaiba, you alright?"  I'm NOT worried about him.  No way.

Glare.  "What do you think, you dumb mutt!" he hisses.  He turns his back to me and fusses over his brother.

Okay.  He's got other things to worry about.  I get that.  If that was my little sis passed on the street, I'd be pretty snarky, too.

I kinda don't know what to do, so I'm sorta hoverin' over Kaiba in case he needs me.  Not that I care about him or anything.  I just wanna make sure his brother's okay.  Yeah.

…Who am I kidding?  I was worried about him, okay!?

But just a little.

Shut up.

Thank you.

So where was I?  Oh, yeah, hoverin' over Kaiba.

Turns out that was a pretty bad spot to be hoverin' over, 'cause suddenly it felt like somebody'd socked me in the back, but worse.  I keel over into Kaiba's arms.  He starts to yell at me, but doesn't.  His eyes widen in shock.

Then the pain hits me.

FUCK it hurts!  Damnfuckshitfuck can't even scream, hurts so much…

Did I make a sound? I dunno. I must've, but I can't remember.

Shitshitshit.

Kaiba's lookin' at me.  No, he's lookin' at my torso.  He's got blood all over him, and it's not his.  His eyes go kinda glassy as he stares at all the red stuff.

Don't wanna look.  Don't wanna…

…Look.

…Somebody's blown a freakin' _hole_ in me.  It looks real bad.  I'm not a doctor; I dunno how bad.  It takes all my strength just to turn my head so I can see who shot me in the back.

It's some guy in a business suit.  Black hair.  Too far away to see his eyes, but he looks disappointed.  Must've been aiming for Kaiba. 

Great.  I've saved Kaiba's life and I didn't even mean to.  He'd better appreciate it.

The gunman's runnin' away.

Come back here, ya back-stabbin' coward!  I try to go after the fucker, but I can't move…

Man, there's so much blood.  Probably why I'm feelin' pretty woozy.  At least it doesn't hurt so much anymore.  My vision's getting kinda blurry, too.  Is the rain gettin' in my eyes?

Oh.  It's 'cause Kaiba's shaking me.  Must be.  I think he's saying something, but it's real hard to concentrate on his voice.  I try anyway.

_Come on, concentrate..._

"…dumb mutt!  Stay with me!  Open your eyes and stay with me, you mangy, flea-bitten dog!"

'Jeez, give it a break wit' the insults, Kaiba.  I'm injured, here!' I try to say, but nothin's coming out but blood.  I'm still laying in his arms, making a real bloody mess all over his sooty, burnt clothes.  His wardrobe's totalled.  Like his limo.  Like me.

Ya know, it's kinda nice havin' him hold me like this.  He's soakin' wet and I am, too, but he's… warm.  I must be goin' into shock or something.  The only way Kaiba'd be warm would be if he was radioactive.  Maybe it's just the warm blood I bled all over him.

Whatever, I don't care.  I'm warm and I'm not really hurting anymore.  I can't even feel him shaking me.  And I'm really, really tired.

Gonna close my eyes for a sec.  I'm really sleepy… can't keep them open…

Be a pal… wake me when the ambulance gets here, will ya?

"Joey, NO!"

…I think… I'm gonna take a… little nap now.  So tired.  Hope that's… okay… wit' you… Kaib-

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	2. It Just Gets Worse and Worse

**Summary:**  Tragedy strikes.  Joey Wheeler is gone forever.  Or is he?  Joey POV.  Post Duelist Kingdom AU.  Will eventually be Seto/Joey shounen-ai.

**Author's Notes:**  Well, I thought I'd try writing a YuGiOh fic.  I've never posted at fanfiction.net before, so we'll see how it goes, shall we?

**Warnings:**  Character death (sort of), language, angst, eventual Seto/Joey.

**Disclaimers:**  I don't own YuGiOh or any other brand names you might come across.  No lights at the end of the tunnel were harmed in the making of this fic.

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**Being Dead Ain't Easy**

**Chapter Two:  It Just Gets Worse and Worse**

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Huh, I wonder where I am?  The last thing I remember is… is what?  It doesn't bother me.  I guess it's not important.

I'm surrounded by blackness.  Oh, wait, no I'm not.

Where'd that tunnel come from?  It's so bright it hurts my eyes.  Turn it down a little, you guys.  Show some consideration.  Jeez, people these days.

There must be some kinda vacuum suction thing goin' on 'cause I'm being drawn to it.  It's sorta pretty.  If I squint, I can see some white swirly things in the light.

I walk towards it.  Everything around me is black except for that light.  Weird.  The first step is hard, but the further I go, the easier it gets.  One step, two steps, three step-

And I trip over something.  I look down.

My shoelaces are untied.  I stuff 'em into my shoe and look back up and just like that, the light's gone.

Wha?

Oh well, guess there's no point in walkin' that way anymore.

I look back down to tie my laces and instead of the blackness that was there before, it's a bird's-eye view of Domino City.

…Domino City!?  I'm floatin' above Domino City!?

"What the hell's goin' on here!?" I yell.  I've got no idea why I wasn't freaked out before, but I sure am now!  People just don't go around floating in the air!

It's all comin' back to me like someone's smacked me in the face with a brick.

Rain, limo, fire, blood, pain, gunman, KaibaKaibaKaiba… 

"Joey, NO!" 

The 'ground' disappears from beneath my feet and I drop to the city below.

~~~###~~~

I land in a cemetery.

Well, not exactly 'land', more like 'float'.  While I was fallin' from wherever the hell I was before, I found out I could sorta control the speed of descent by concentrating real hard.  And screaming.  Couldn't steer, though.

Hey, look!  The gang's all here!  There's Yuugi and Yuugi's grandpa and Tristan and Tea and Bakura and Mai, my little sis Serenity, Mom, Dad…

And Mokuba.  And Seto Kaiba.  And a buncha other people, too.  Nobody's noticed me yet.

Man, they look awful.  I wonder why?

"Cheer up, guys!  You all look like your dog died!"

I think about it for a sec and smack my forehead.  I'm lucky they aren't yellin' at me for sayin' something so stupid.  _Of course _they look awful!  They're in a friggin' cemetery.  Somebody died.  Must've been somebody popular, what with all these people mourning him.  Either that, or they hated him so much they wanted to make sure he was dead.  I wonder who the poor guy was.  And wouldn't cha know it, there's a plaque right there, so let's take a look:

_Joseph Wheeler_

_January 25th, 1985 – March 28th, 2003_

_A great guy, and the best friend in the world._

_We'll miss you._

…I'm dead.

Me.  Dead.

I CAN'T BE DEAD.  I'M STILL HERE!

I spin 'round.  "Hey guys!  I'm right here!"  I wave to the gang.  "Guys?  Sorry for disappearin' like that, I almost got sucked into a giant light bulb or somethin'." I chuckle.  They must be wondering what I've been smokin'.  "Sounds freaky, right?  But I'm back now, so everything's cool, right?  Right?"

Why's everyone walkin' away!?

Heh heh, it's a joke, right?  They're pissed 'cause I went away and now they're kidding around wit' me, right?  Yeah, hahaha, very funny, guys.  See, I'm laughin'.  Real funny.

HAHAHA.

Okay, comedy hour's over now, time to turn around and say it's just a joke.

I'm waiting.

"…Guys?  This ain't FUNNY no more!  It's not funny!  …Come on, I'm right here!  I'm not dead!  I'M NOT DEAD!"

I grab Yuugi and shake him, but his body's not movin'.  It's like he can't feel it at all.  I wave my hand in front of his face and he doesn't even blink.  He just turns around and walks away.

They're all ignoring me.  Drivin' away in cars and leaving me all alone.  Just like that.

Gone.

I guess I caught the tail end of the funeral or memorial service or whatever the hell it was.

The tail end of _my_ funeral or _my_ memorial service.

I remember I was late for some class one day, and the teacher said to me, "Joey Wheeler, you'd be late for your own funeral."

That's… funny.

So funny I could just cry.

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	3. The Power of Positive Thinking

**Summary:**  Tragedy strikes.  Joey Wheeler is gone forever.  Or is he?  Joey POV.  Post Duelist Kingdom AU.  Will eventually be Seto/Joey shounen-ai.

**Author's Notes:**  Well, I thought I'd try writing a YuGiOh fic.  I've never posted at fanfiction.net before, so we'll see how it goes, shall we?

Thanks for the reviews!  I'm glad you guys like the story so far ^_^

Blue Lagoon Loon:  I fixed up Joey's birthdate.  I have no idea what year he was born, though.  I don't think it's ever said.  Thanks for pointing out my mistake!

If anyone finds any more mistakes, let me know in the review…

This chapter's a bit short, but there should be another one soon.

**Warnings:**  Character death (sort of), language, angst, eventual Seto/Joey.

**Disclaimers:**  I don't own YuGiOh or any other brand names you might come across.  No turtles were harmed in the making of this fic.

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**Being Dead Ain't Easy**

**Chapter Three:  The Power of Positive Thinking**

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I don't know how long I stood there.  Time flies when you're havin' fun, ya know?  Yeah, it's a pretty cemetery, but I really don't wanna hang around here anymore.  Bad memories, if ya know what I mean.  Time to get a move on.  I snap out of it and go for a little stroll.

Walkin' around when you're dead's kinda strange, aside from the fact that you're not supposed to be walkin' around at all, I mean.  I can't hear my footsteps.  It's like I'm not even there.  I wander outta the cemetery and out onto the sidewalk.  Some guy doesn't see me-

_well, duh, of course he can't see you_

-and walks right through me.

Right.  Through.  Me.

And all I get is kinda tingly.

He doesn't notice a thing.

I can't believe I'm dead.  I only closed my eyes for a second!  I was tired, not _dying!_  I mean, after all I went through, after Duelist Kingdom, _this_ is how I kick it!?  I feel kinda cheated.

I've got a bad feeling about what that light and tunnel and stuff was supposed to be.  How much do ya wanna bet that it was the Great Beyond?  The Afterlife?  I can't believe I'm a ghost just because I tripped on my laces!  If it were that easy, the world would be crawlin' with ghosts.  Did it happen when I looked down?  Would I be in some sorta paradise if I hadn't?  I betcha anything I woulda ended up in the place where all the sexy guys go.  I'd be dead sexy.

…I'm dead.  I'm jokin' around in my own head when all I wanna do is SCREAM AND I CAN'T BE DEAD NO NO NO NO-

Stop it! 

Deep breaths.  Well, not really 'cause I can feel there's no air goin' into my lungs and it's _wrong_ and-

Stop.  It.  Freakin' out won't help.

_Alright, Joey.  Ya fell down from that… place, so all ya gotta do is fly back up.  Easy._

Easy.  Riiight.  I'm not a freakin' bird.

But…

I'm dead.

Dead people always, _always_ have superpowers.

It's a bit of a stretch, I know.  I can't think too good right now.

Here goes nothin'.

_Up._

Nothin'.  Still on the ground.

Well, I wasn't trying very hard.  Maybe I need to concentrate a bit more.  So I close my eyes and try to think like a birdie.  I'm guessin' I look constipated, but nobody can see me anyway, so who cares?

I point one arm up in the air, fist jabbing at the sky, while I plant the other hand on my hip.  Like Superman.  I jump up and down so I'm sorta in the air.  Maybe that'll make it easier?  I hope I don't look too dumb.

UP UP UP UP UP… 

Boy, I feel stupid.

…UP UP UP! 

…And away!  I'm definitely off the ground.  It WORKED!  The Superman pose did the trick!

I'm flyin' up!  It's a bird, it's a plane, no, it's SUPAJOEY!

Faster than a… speedin' turtle.  Alright, maybe not _that_ slow.  Turtles can't fly.

Still…

This is gonna take awhile.

That's okay.  I'm not in a rush.  It's not like I wanna PASS ON or anything.  I just don't wanna be a dead guy walkin'.

Whoa, I'm pretty far up.  The peeps down there look so tiny!  Shiny swirly light thing, here I come!

Any minute now.  Yuppers, any minute.

…I've stopped movin'.  It's hard to judge distance, but I'm guessing I'm about as far up as that airplane over there.

Not.  Good.

UP UP UP UP UP! 

Not workin'.  And, er, that plane's a bit close.

DOWN DOWN DOWN! 

And I crash through the sidewalk feet-first and only stop when the cement's halfway up my chest.  Ugh.

After some more uppin' and downin', I'm finally back where I started.

Well, that's just terrific, ain't it.  I guess I'm stuck on Earth until I figure out how to get outta this mess.

On the bright side, I can fly.  Sort of.

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	4. A Reason to Go On

**Summary:**  Tragedy strikes.  Joey Wheeler is gone forever.  Or is he?  Joey POV.  Post Duelist Kingdom AU.  Will eventually be Seto/Joey shounen-ai.

**Author's Notes:**  Well, I thought I'd try writing a YuGiOh fic.  I have a rough idea where it'll end up, but the journey might take quite a while…

Yay, I got more reviews!  Thank you all for continuing to read this little story ^_^

**Warnings:**  Character death (sort of), language, angst, eventual Seto/Joey.

**Disclaimers:**  I don't own YuGiOh or any other brand names you might come across.  No ostriches were harmed in the making of this fic.

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**Being Dead Ain't Easy**

**Chapter Four:  A Reason to Go On**

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After the 'flying lesson', I spent a few weeks visiting the gang.  They couldn't see me, feel me, or even hear me.  It hurt.

My little sis got that eye operation she needed, paid for with the money I won at Duelist Kingdom.  Serenity sees fine now.  There was even some cash left over.  She's pretty broken up over me.

I'm sorry you never got to see yer big bro one last time.  I'm sorry, sis.

I hung around with her for a while.  I don't know if it helped or not.

Mom and Dad?  Well, Mom never really saw me grow up and she's still got Serenity.  She never knew me, so she wasn't hurt too bad.  Dad stopped drinking.  I guess my death snapped him outta his drunken stupor or somethin'.  I'm glad he's putting his life back together.

Good for you, pops.  Now, if you'd only done that, like, I dunno, ten years earlier, that woulda been great.  Still, better late than never, right, old man?

Tea, Bakura, and Grandpa are still kinda sad, but they're movin' on just fine.  Sometimes I think that Bakura… nah.

We weren't super close, so I'm okay with that.  Movin' on is cool.

Tristan…  he spends a lotta time starin' off into space.  He doesn't smile much anymore, and every time he does, you can tell he's fakin' it.  Every time he sees Kaiba, he gets this real nasty look on his face.  It scares me.

He's sorta drifted away from the group.  Even though he's pushing 'em away, they're still tryin' to help him.

I hope he gets over me. I mean, I'm glad I meant so much to him, but I don't want him to be miserable, ya know?  He was my first real buddy.

Yuugi cries a lot.  It was real bad at first, but then he'd stare off into space, sorta like Tristan, for minutes at a time, or maybe he'd talk to somebody I couldn't see.  I'm guessin' he's talkin' to the other him.  That 'Yami' guy's kinda scary, but whatever he's sayin' to Yuugi helps.

I didn't mean to hurt cha, Yuug.  I wish I can hold ya, but I can't, not really, no matter how hard I try.  I'm sorry I let ya down.

Sometimes I wonder if Yuugi can kinda see me.  He'd stare right where I am, and then shake his head and start cryin' all over again.  Maybe his Puzzle's got somethin' to do with it.  Maybe I should try talkin' to him some more when he's not hurtin' so much.  There's no way he can hear me in the condition he's in.

The Kaibas?  Saw 'em at school.  They're fine.  Mokuba didn't really know me and Kaiba looks the same as always: cold and stuck up.  Man, you'd think he'd be a little more broken up over me.  What's his problem!?  Hard to believe, but I think he's even colder now than he was before I…

The injuries he got from the fiery limo o' death are healin' nicely.  Still hate the guy.  That'll never change.

Tristan's been gettin' in his face lately.  I'm thinking he blames Kaiba for what happened to me.

So yeah, I visited the gang.  Now I'm just wanderin' around doin' nothing.  I'm kinda runnin' outta things to do, ya know?  I walk around, fly a bit, walk some more.  Walking's faster than flying for some reason.

My feet lead me right into the cemetery.

You know, _that_ cemetery.

And whadayaknow, Kaiba's standin' by my grave.  He's gatherin' his thoughts, like he wants to say something. Looks kinda stressed.  It's pretty late; the sun's gone down ages ago.  Well, since he wants to talk to me so bad, I guess it'd only be polite to go and listen in, right?

Yup, there's some kinda emotion on Kaiba's face.  Can't tell what it is, though.

"Wheeler."

"Kaiba," I answer.  He doesn't hear me, of course.  'Cause I'm dead and all.  I guess I'll just hafta pretend he can.

He swallows.  "We finally caught the man who killed you.  He was a disgruntled ex-employee of mine.  He's also the one who planted the explosives in the limo."

I narrow my eyes.  "Your employee?  So you're sayin' it's your fault?"

"In a way, I suppose you could blame me for your death.  My ex-employee, my responsibility.  I should have seen it coming."

I wanna, but I really can't blame it on Kaiba.  "Nah.  You just fired him.  Anybody'd fire a nutcase like that.  Don't beat yourself up over it."  I look down and ghost-kick a pebble.  "Don't blame yourself.  I don't."

Pause.  It's almost like he really _can_ hear me.

Kaiba clears his throat.  "I never thanked you for saving Mokuba's life, did I, Joey? Or mine," he adds as an afterthought.

Mokuba's life?  And he called me Joey.  I can count on one hand the times he's called me 'Joey'.  Without addin' some sorta insult to it, I mean.

"But I didn't do nothin'."  Just got in the way of the bullet.

He shakes his head.  "I never would have gotten the door open without your help.  It was reinforced to prevent people from breaking in.  I designed it myself."

"Well, that's what cha get when ya start messin' around with perfectly fine doors.  Here's some advice from beyond the grave:  you're smart, Kaiba, but leave limo design to the professionals."

"However, I never thought that I'd need to get out in an emergency in which the doors would be melted shut.  Rather shortsighted of me, really.  I should've left it to the professionals."  He stops to massage his temples.  "It cost me the life of a limo driver who's been with me for five years.  Mokuba and I would have died from smoke inhalation, if not the fire itself."

I never thought I'd see the day when Kaiba thanked me for anything.  "Eh, you're welcome."  I take a closer look at him.  There's bags under his eyes.  "Go home an' get some sleep, Kaiba. You look bushed."

He ignores me.

"And thank you for taking the bullet for me."  He continues.  He gives my grave a sort of wobbly smirk.  "Though I doubt you did it deliberately."  A twitch, and there's the trademark Kaiba sneer.  "Only an idiot would do something so foolish, but then, you are one."

"I'm a WHAT!?"

"You're both an idiot, and a fool."  Smirk.

Jerk.  I take back all the sorta nice things I just said.  "You think I'd do somethin' that stupid on purpose!?"  I snarl.  "You think I wanna be dead!?  You owe me big time, Kaiba!"

Kaiba scowls.  "Yes, I owe you, Wheeler, but it's hard to pay one's debts to a dead man."  The scowl fades, and turns into somethin' I can't read.  "Now that I think about it, I suppose it… bothers me."

That's all he has to say!?  "Bothers you?  Bothers YOU!?" I explode.  "Who's the dead guy here!?  _I'm_ the one who's fuckin' _bothered_, ya jerk!"  Man, I wish he could hear me!

Moneybags glances at his watch.  "Well, it's been dull talking to your grave.  It's time to end this little conversation."  His expression twists and flickers until it settles on another smirk.  "I hope you're having fun chasing Frisbees and sniffing trees in that great park in the sky… _chihuahua_."

SON OF A BITCH!  I lunge at him and take a swing at his ugly head.  Surprise, surprise, nothing happens.

With that, he strides off to his spoiled little richboy car that costs more than all the houses around here put together and drives off into the night, away to his spoiled little richboy mansion.

Grrrrrrr…

He makes me so MAD!

I punch the ground in a not-really-punchin'-the-ground-'cause-I'm-a-ghost kinda way.

Not.  Satisfying.  At.  All.  I wish it was his face!  Prick.

Stinkin' Kaiba.

I'm so gonna haunt your ass.

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	5. Why the Joey Crossed the Road

**Summary:**  Tragedy strikes.  Joey Wheeler is gone forever.  Or is he?  Joey POV.  Post Duelist Kingdom AU.  Will eventually be Seto/Joey shounen-ai.

**Author's Notes:**  Well, I thought I'd try writing a YuGiOh fic.  It looks like it's going to turn into some sort of epic.

Thanks for the reviews!  It gives me a nice tingly feeling ^_^

I wonder if I should up the rating to R?  Is PG13 too mild for all the swearing Joey's doing?  I don't really want to tone down the language because I think Joey has every right to be upset…

Joey:  @$@$%!!!  You #!@#$!%*!! killed me!

What do you guys think?  Or do you notice the language at all?

**Warnings:**  Character death (sort of), language, angst, eventual Seto/Joey.

**Disclaimers:**  I don't own YuGiOh or any other brand names you might come across.  No road-crossing chickens were harmed in the making of this fic.

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**Being Dead Ain't Easy**

**Chapter Five:  Why the Joey Crossed the Road**

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I've discovered my mission in unlife:

Haunt Seto Kaiba.

That's right, I'm gonna do the vengeful ghost thing and wreck his life!  Do ya hear me, Moneybags!?  I'm gonna stalk ya day an' night an' never let ya sleep or work an' bug you 'til you crack!

…Even though he can't hear me or see me or anything.  I'll figure it out later.

'Sides, I got nothin' better to do.

I know where Kaiba lives, so all I hafta do is walk, fly, or hitch a ride on a car goin' my way and away we go.  No problem.

Ya must be wonderin' how I can get in a car.  I mean, invisible ghost body plus walkin' through stuff equals no gettin' into cars, right?

Lucky for me, that ain't so.

I found out that I can sorta touch things.  I can sit down, lean against walls, hold onto stuff, that sort of thing.  I can do the opposite, too.  If I concentrate, I can go through anything.  And if I _don't_ concentrate, I can… errr… go through anything.  Or, um, not?

…Give me a break, man! I'm new at this kinda thing!

I can't move stuff.  Like if I sit down on a sofa or something.  I can sit on it, but the cushion doesn't sink down.  Do you get what I mean?  If someone slams a door in my face, and yeah, that's happened to me, I'm pushed back, though the guy on the other side won't feel the door hittin' anything.  If I kick a wall, I either bounce back, or my foot just goes right through it, dependin' on my mood.

Let me put it this way:  Sometimes I go through stuff and sometimes I don't.  There.  Clear enough for ya?  Good.

So I just walk up to a car stopped at a traffic light, go right through the closed door, and make myself comfortable in the back seat.  The light turns green and we're off!

Yeah, I could just fly there, but this is way faster.   Unless Kaiba lives in the sky, even _walking's_ faster than flying.

I huge mansion looms into view.  That's my stop, everybody off!

This is the hard part.  The car's still moving, so it's a bit tricky.  I close my eyes, will myself 'not-there', and fall through the bottom of the car.  Then, I get run over by about ten cars while I cross the street.  Okay, okay, they run through me, not over, but it still feels pretty disturbing.  So many tingles it's like I'm bein' electrocuted.

…Phew! I finally make it across the street.  Let me tell you, it took me awhile to perfect the Joey Wheeler Undead Hitchhiker technique.  You remember me mentionin' that I either go through or bounce?  Bouncin' from car to car is not fun.  Don't try it, especially if you're not already dead.

Kaiba's mansion is big, real big.  There's a high pointy fence around the whole thing.  At the gates, there's some high-tech voice recognition intercom thingy.  There's guards all around patrollin' the mansion grounds.  They've all got these jackets on that sorta bulge out where they're keeping their guns.

Ooh, scary.  Too bad I can just walk right through it. Neener neener.

Ya know, I don't think Kaiba used to have bodyguards oozin' outta the woodwork like this.  Maybe that killer psycho bomber gunman employee got to him more than he let on.

…And here we are inside the home of Mr. Paranoid CEO himself.  Classy.  I gotta admit, Kaiba knows how to live in _style_.  Now where'd he run off to?

Time to do some exploring.

~~~###~~~

Did I mention this place is huge?  Huge, as in it has so many rooms it's like a maze?  Not that I'm lost or anything.  Yeah.  Not lost, just exploring.

Man, Kaiba should put some kinda map or directory or something at the front door.  It's not like he can't afford it.

Okaaay, I came in _that_ way and I went _this_ way and then I turned right at the third door.  No, wait, didn't I turn left at the second door and then down the hallway to…  Aw, forget it.  I just pick a random direction and walk.

I find a room with noise coming from it and let myself in.

It's the living room.  Mokuba's lyin' on the floor with a controller in his hands, playin' a videogame.  Looks like some sorta racing game, if I'm not mistaken.  He's grinnin' like a maniac, so I guess he's winning.  Looks like fun.  I wish I could play, too.

I give myself a shake.  _Enough with the angsting, already!  Go find Kaiba!_

I spin around and wander off, goin' through the rooms one by one like I shoulda done before.

Kitchen, kinda messy 'cause the Kaibas had dinner a while ago.  Dining room.  Library.  Study.  Indoor swimmin' pool.  Another living room.  Bathroom.  Lobby.  Living room with Mokuba.  Library.  Pool.  Where the hell's Kaiba!?  Can't haunt the creep if I can't even find him.

Am I goin' in circles, here?

'Course not.  I'm not lost, so I can't be goin' in circles.

Um.

…Hey, I found the stairs!  Now we're gettin' somewhere.  Dunno why I missed it; the thing's so big I wanna get up there, whip out a sled, and slide down just for kicks.  I mean, the steps are so freakin' wide I could stretch out on one!  I walk up the stairs just in time to see Kaiba go by.  About time!  I follow him around until he steps into a room and closes the door.

I know I can just barge in there, but, I dunno…

Well, I can wait until he comes out.  Now that I know where he is, I'll just sit tight.  I don't wanna get lost – err, I mean, _turned around_ again.

I mean, just because I've never been up here doesn't mean I should snoop.

…Ya know, if I keep an eye on Kaiba's door, I won't get all confused about where I am, as long as I don't go too far.  Let's explore the second floor now, shall we?

Bedroom.  Bedroom.  Bathroom.  Study.  Bedroom.  Bathroom.  Bedroom.  Mini-kitchen.  Empty room.  Door Kaiba's behind.  Man, come out already!  I'm getting bored!

He's sure takin' his sweet time.  I wonder what he's doing?

Only one way to find out.

Since I'm polite and all, I knock first.  Not my fault it doesn't make a sound!  "Ready or not, Kaiba, here I come!" I say cheerfully.  Not my fault he can't hear _that_, either.

Enough with the politeness.  I make myself at home and walk right in.

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	6. Kaiba

**Summary:**  Tragedy strikes.  Joey Wheeler is gone forever.  Or is he?  Joey POV.  Post Duelist Kingdom AU.  Will eventually be Seto/Joey shounen-ai.

**Author's Notes:**  Well, I thought I'd try writing a YuGiOh fic.  And it's still going.

As always, thanks to everyone for the reviews.  I'm glad people are enjoying this fic ^_^

Tuulikki:  about the "silky locks"...  Uh...  In his own head, Joey would happily declare his locks silky, or his body dead sexy.  Good self body image.  Of course, he probably wouldn't go right out and say so to some random person on the street.  Does that work?

Rating will stay PG13 despite the more-than-occasional bouts of pottymouth.  Don't tell. ^_~

**Warnings:**  Character death (sort of), language, angst, eventual Seto/Joey.

**Disclaimers:**  I don't own YuGiOh or any other brand names you might come across.  No shiny reflective surfaces were harmed in the making of this fic.

**************************************************************************

**Being Dead Ain't Easy**

**Chapter Six:  Kaiba**

**************************************************************************

…To the bathroom.

Eh heh heh.  Whoopsie.

It's not what you think!  He's takin' a shower, not… well… you know.  I can hear the spray of the water against the walls of the shower stall.  I guess I didn't hear it before 'cause the bathroom door's pretty sturdy.  Or maybe I wasn't payin' attention, or I'm going deaf.  Whatever.  There's frosted glass panels around the shower, so I'm not seein' any wrinkly Kaiba bits.  And since I can't see anything, there's no reason to leave.

Man, this is the nicest bathroom I've ever seen.  Black marble tiles, sparkling faucets, elegant drawers and cabinets, the little bathroom doohickeys all neatly organized.  A place for everything, and everything in its place.  It's all so neat, it's scary.

Oh, and there's a huge mirror stretchin' from one end of the room to the other.  It's gettin' all steamed up from Kaiba's hot shower.  I try not to look at it 'cause I still haven't gotten used to not havin' a reflection.  I'm bein' silly, I know.

I should try to get over it.  No mirror's gonna get the better o' Joey Wheeler!  So I poke it with my finger.  Take that!  Heh, I crack me up.

My finger leaves a mark on the mirror.  There's a spot with no water droplets where my finger was.

You know what that means, don't cha?

I can actually _do_ somethin' in the real world!  Break out the champagne!

I poke the mirror again.

Nothin'.

Okay.  First time was a fluke.

No.  I'm not gonna believe that.

Concentrate.

I'm doin' some serious focusing on the end of my finger as I slowly clear a line on the mirror.  It's working!  It's not a fluke!

After a minute, I've drawn one wobbly letter.

Kaiba's still showering.  Man, isn't he gonna run outta hot water?  I shrug.  Not my problem.  I've got other things to worry about.

I start writing out a message, one slow letter at a time.  I just finish when the shower turns off.  I've gotten so used to the sound that I get startled and whirl around.

Dripping wet naked Kaiba.  Standin' there.  Wet.  Naked.

He blinks.

I blink.

We both scream like girls.

"AAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!"

He stops screaming and staggers to the mirror.

…Wha?

Oh.  He was screamin' at the mirror, not me.  I guess I'm still invisible.  Oh well.

Heh heh heh.  The mirror message was worth those fifteen minutes of hardcore concentration.  I leer - no, I mean smirk, SMIRK! - at him.

What cha think o' my little message, Your Royal Nakedness?

_JOEY WUZ HERE_

And a happy face.  Gotta have the happy face.

He's starin' at the mirror like he can't believe what he's seeing.

Suddenly, there's a banging at the door.  "BIG BROTHER!  WHAT'S WRONG!?"  It's Mokuba.

Kaiba takes a sec to wrap a towel 'round his waist before yankin' the bathroom door open.  He grabs Mokuba real roughly and starts shakin' him.  "DO YOU THINK THAT'S FUNNY!?" he screams in his little bro's face.  His face is all twisted up in this horrible, horrible look of rage and pain.

I get the hell away from Kaiba.  What the fuck's wrong with him?

"WELL, DO YOU!?"

"I… I don't kn… know what's wr… wrong, big brother," Mokuba whimpers.  "I… I'm sor… sorry…"

Just like that, Kaiba snaps out of it.  "Mokuba, Mokuba, I'm so sorry I yelled at you, are you hurt, are you okay?"  He kneels down and desperately checks the kid for injuries.  "I'm sorry I snapped at you, little brother.  I didn't mean to.  Are you all right?"

Mokuba sniffles a little, but nods.  "Big br… brother…"

Kaiba calms down a bit.  "Yes, Mokuba?"

"Why were you screaming?"

The guy's face shuts right down.  "It was nothing."  Sorry, but it sure didn't look like "nothing" to me, Kaiba.

"Didn't sound like nothing to me," says Mokuba skeptically.

Kaiba hesitates.  "Mokuba… I have to ask you something."

Big wide kiddie eyes gaze up at him.  The kid worships him, don't ask me why.  "What is it, big brother?"

Kaiba moves outta the way and lets his brother into the bathroom.  "Did you write… that?" he asks, pointin' at the mirror.

Mokuba reads the message I wrote and gasps.  "NO!  No way, I wouldn't write something like that, I swear!"

"Are you sure?"

The kid nods.  "Uh huh.  I swear, I never touched the mirror, big brother."

"I see.  And I know for a fact that the writing wasn't there this morning.  Therefore, someone must have broken into the mansion and decided to play some sort of sick joke."  His eyes narrow.  "I'm not amused."

"I'm not either."  Mokuba gulps.  "Or maybe Joey really _was_ here…"  Listen to your little bro, Kaiba.  He knows what he's talkin' about!

Kaiba laughs humorlessly.  "Witless and idiotic the dog may be, but even he wouldn't rise from the dead simply to break into the bathroom and doodle silly messages."

Yes I would!  "That's where you're wrong, Kaiba!" I retort.  "I would too break into the bathroom an' doodle silly… messages..."  I trail off.

Ya know, I think I just insulted myself.

"Big brother…"

"Go do your homework, Mokuba.  We have school tomorrow."

Mokuba looks like he wants to argue, but Kaiba gently herds him outta the bathroom and closes the door.  Good thing, 'cause the bathroom's gettin' kinda crowded.

Once the kid's gone, he leans against the door, trembling.  He takes a few deep breaths until he's under control again.  "Just a sick joke," he whispers.  He nods once to himself, straightens out, and drops the towel so he can put his boxers on.

I, uh, step out and let the guy get changed, but not fast enough to miss gettin' an eyeful.  Um.  I mean I _didn't_ get an eyeful.

I didn't see nothin'.  I saw NOTHING.

And Kaiba's the Queen of England.

~~~###~~~

Well, _that_ was weird.

I lean against a wall to think.

Kaiba was really freaked out back there.  I've never seen him lose his cool like that, never.

Does he really care that much that I'm gone?  I mean, when I saw him at school, he looked fine!  He was acting like the Kaiba I know; pickin' on my friends, glarin' at anyone who so much as looks at him, the usual.  He wasn't crying like Yuugi or goin' all weird like Tristan.  While everyone was being sad over me, he just went around doin' his own thing like always.  Yeah, he was kinda upset when I croaked in his arms –__

_"…dumb mutt!  Stay with me!  Open your eyes and stay with me, you mangy, flea-bitten dog!"_

_"Joey, NO!"_

- but he got over it mighty quick.  I mean, he's Kaiba.  He's fine.  Nothing bothers him for long.

Or maybe, just maybe, he's just that good an actor.

******************************************************************************


	7. While You Were Sleeping

**Summary:**  Tragedy strikes.  Joey Wheeler is gone forever.  Or is he?  Joey POV.  Post Duelist Kingdom AU.  Will eventually be Seto/Joey shounen-ai.

**Author's Notes:**  Well, I thought I'd try writing a YuGiOh fic.  And it's still going.

Wheee, reviews!!!  I'm so happy ^_^

There will be no super physical SxJ scene.  Not only would it stick out horribly if I tried, but I've never written one before, either (unless you count the awful gag Gundam Wing one I did years ago where Heero exploded and expired ten seconds in).

**Warnings:**  Character death (sort of), language, angst, eventual Seto/Joey.

**Disclaimers:**  I don't own YuGiOh or any other brand names you might come across.  No spotted owls were harmed in the making of this fic.

**************************************************************************

**Being Dead Ain't Easy**

**Chapter Seven:  While You Were Sleeping**

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After a while, Kaiba comes outta the bathroom dressed in black jammies, lookin' like there's nothing wrong with him, like he hadn't spazzed out just five minutes ago.  I follow him as he heads to a bedroom.  I guess it's his.  His little bro's waitin' at the door.

Kaiba looks kinda puzzled.  "Is something the matter, Mokuba?"

Mokuba chews his lip a little.  "Ummm… big brother?"

"Yes, Mokuba?"

"You'd tell me… if there was anything wrong, right?  If something was bothering you, you'd say so, wouldn't you, big brother?"

Kaiba's smile… he's still smiling, but his eyes… those cold blue eyes of his just go flat.  I get chills just lookin' at him.

"Of course I would, Mokuba.  Now go to bed, little brother, it's getting late."

Mokuba's not buyin' it.  He opens his mouth to argue.

Nobody argues with Seto Kaiba.  Nobody. Not even his little brother.  "Bed.  NOW," he says, no, _commands_.  I can almost hear the _"do not question me or you'll be very, very sorry"_ tacked on the end.  It's obvious he doesn't wanna talk.  I know he loves his little brother, but Kaiba looks just plain scary right now.

Mokuba takes one look at his face, gulps, and runs away.  Smart kid.

Once the kid's gone, Kaiba slams the bedroom door open, goes inside, and slams the door closed in my face.  I don't go phantom-y in time and it fuckin' _hurts_.  Stupid Kaiba, what'd you go and do that for!?  Just open and close the freakin' door like a normal person!  Or better yet, leave it open.  And ya can't run away from me that easy.  This ghost thing is pretty handy.  I step through the door.

Nice bedroom.  Thick carpet, lotsa dark wood furniture.  There's a desk with a computer sittin' on it and a nice black leather chair with wheels in front of the desk in one end of the room.  The big king-sized bed is in the other.  There's a lamp on the nightstand by the bed.  It's on right now but I'm guessin' it won't be for long 'cause it looks like Kaiba's climbin' into bed.  Sleepytime for the Kaiba household.

He gets under the covers, sticks out an arm, turns off the light, and flips over so he's on his side instead of his back, away from the lamp.  I blink until I can see in the darkness.  Kaiba moves around a bit until he's comfortable, sighs, moves around a little more, and finally settles down.

I think he's asleep, but then he starts movin' all over again, flips onto his back, and stops.

Ten minutes later, he does it again.  And again.

I lose count of how many he times he flops around like a fish.  Finally, _finally_, he settles down for good.

I watch him for a while, but he's not movin'.  I guess he really is asleep.  Does he thrash around like that every night?  I check his alarm clock:  1:14AM.

That's it.  Show's over, folks.

Now, another problem with this ghost thing is that I don't sleep.  While I was checkin' up on my friends and family, I just wandered around for eight hours until they woke up.  I guess I can go do that wandering thing, but it gets pretty boring.

Besides, I said I'd haunt Kaiba.  So I'm stayin' put.  Can't bug him if I'm not here.

So does that mean I'm just gonna stand here and watch him sleep?  I guess so.

...Actually, I've got a better idea.  I'll go sit in his comfy leather chair and stare at him from there.  I go and do that.

It's too far away.  I can't watch Kaiba sleep from here.  It's a lousy view.

Hmmm… maybe I can roll the chair over to his bed?  If I can screw around with his mirror, maybe I can do the same to his chair.

I go and check to make sure Kaiba's asleep, first.  The last thing he needs after his bathroom freakout is to see some possessed chair rollin' around.  It woulda been funny, but I guess I'm not in the mood to scare him again.  I'll give him a break.  Just this once.

I lean real close to his ear, so close that he'd feel my breath if I was breathing.  "I'm bein' nice right now, but don't get me wrong, Kaiba.  I'm still gonna haunt your ass.  Next time, you're gonna be _awake_."

He just goes "Mmmmhmmm..." and rolls over again.  Starts snoring.  I guess he's not impressed.  At least he doesn't snore too loud.

I grab the chair and pull it towards his bed.  It feels like it weighs a ton.  Roll, stop for a break, roll, break, roll, swear, break, roll some more.  All in all, it takes me TWO FREAKING HOURS to get that stupid chair across the room.  And then it takes me another half hour to turn the damn thing around 'cause it's facing the wrong way.  A long two and a half hours later, I finally get to sit down.  Man, I'm _not_ doin' that again.  I'm achin' from all that work.  Tired.

That kinda worries me.  I can't eat, I can't sleep, so where's my energy comin' from?  Am I just gonna burn out one day?  Poof, no more Joey?

Kaiba's still asleep.  He looks less like a bastard when he's asleep.  He's curled up on the bed and still snoring.

Ya know, I just realized something.  I coulda just sat on the bed and saved myself a lotta trouble.

And ya know what else?

I'm gonna hafta put this chair back where I found it before Kaiba wakes up.  Which will be, since there's school tomorrow, in, oh, maybe three hours.  I guess I might as well get started now.  Exercise is good for you.

Yeah, next time I'm sittin' on the bed.

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	8. The Breakfast of Champions

**Summary:**  Tragedy strikes.  Joey Wheeler is gone forever.  Or is he?  Joey POV.  Post Duelist Kingdom AU.  Will eventually be Seto/Joey shounen-ai.

**Author's Notes:**  Well, I thought I'd try writing a YuGiOh fic.  And it's still going.

I'm rather enjoying this story.  I'm glad you guys are too!  Thanks for the reviews ^_^

**Warnings:**  Character death (sort of), language, angst, eventual Seto/Joey.

**Disclaimers:**  I don't own YuGiOh or any other brand names you might come across.  No kitchen utensils were harmed in the making of this fic.

**************************************************************************

**Being Dead Ain't Easy**

**Chapter Eight:  The Breakfast of Champions**

**************************************************************************

Kaiba wakes up too damned early.  I don't have enough time to turn the chair so it's facin' the right way, but he doesn't notice, so I guess I'll just leave it like that.  It's just a stupid chair.  And I'm too damned tired to mess with it anymore.

Didja know Seto Kaiba's not a morning person?  When the alarm goes off at 5:30AM, I hafta duck 'cause instead of turnin' it off, the freak groans, grabs the clock, and chucks it across the room.  The poor clock smashes against the wall and dies.  I hope he only did that 'cause he had a bad night.  I mean, can you imagine how many clocks he'd go through if he trashed one every morning?  It'd be nice to have that kinda money to waste, though.

He gets up and staggers off to the bathroom.  He starts headin' to the one he went to last night, but he suddenly freezes, turns around, and heads for a different one.  What, does he think that bathroom's haunted now?  I guess he was BSing when he said some guy must've broken in.  And NO, this time I don't follow him.  He can have the bathroom to himself.  I'm not some kinda perv!

I head down the stairs and wait for him in the kitchen.  After a while, Sleepyhead comes down and gets started on breakfast.  Mmmm, scrambled eggs.  I get in close and try to get a whiff.  It smells... like nothing.  Can't breathe, can't smell.  It's really weird how I can still 'talk' and stuff without using air.  I don't get it.

Mokuba comes down by the time his brother's done cooking and putting food on the plates.  The happy little family sits around the dining room table and digs in.  I sit in a chair next to Kaiba too so I can sorta pretend that I'm eatin' with them.  None of 'em suddenly die from food poisoning.  Looks like Kaiba's an okay cook 'cause they're all still alive.  Shame.  I coulda used some company.  This ghost thing is really, really starting to get to me.  I mean, I don't _really_ want one of 'em to die or anything, but... it's like I'm outside lookin' in.  I'm gettin' lonely, dammit!  Somebody, _anybody_... look at me, _talk_ to me... hell, even Kaiba...

...No, wait, I take that back.  I'm not _that_ lonely.  I'll _never_ be that lonely.

And I'm really slackin' off on my haunting, here.  Come on, all I did was doodle on a mirror and move a chair.  I can do better than that!  I get up and start walkin' around, looking for ideas.  Hmmm, what to do...

...Ya know, Kaiba, you really shouldn't put your hot coffee so close to the edge of the table.  What if someone _accidentally_ knocks it into your lap?  And there's not much steam coming from the cup so it's not that hot, more like warm, so it's not like it's gonna burn him...

I'm still pretty tired, but I get my hands on his coffee cup and oh so slowly nudge it along the table towards Kaiba's lap.  He's reading the paper and doesn't notice.

Nudge.  Nudge.  Nudge.  Come on, just a little closer...

I think it's going pretty good when suddenly WHAM I get hit by a major dizzy spell and I can't see straight.  "SHIT!"  The room's spinnin' around me like I'm in a blender and I'm on the floor and man I'm gonna puke up my ghostly guts-

_if I puked, what would come up?_

-and then I'm fine again.  But more tired.

What the hell was that!?  I was just tired before, but this, _this_...

I'm not stupid.  Messin' with the cup set me off, so no more poking, no more movin' stuff around.  Unless I have to.  I better take it easy from now on unless I want a repeat.  I guess I'll be a good little boy and sit back down.  I can't really do anything else about it, so there's no point in worrying.  The Kaiba brothers are still eating.  Looks like nobody noticed my 'fit' or whatever.

Mokuba takes a gulp outta his big glass of orange juice.  "Big brother?"

Kaiba's drinking his coffee and still reading the paper.  I lean over and try to read over his shoulder.  Business section.  Bleh.  How can you read that stuff, Kaiba?

"Kaiba, why're you readin' the paper?" I wonder out loud.  "You can get all ya need to know from your computers."

Kaiba takes another sip of coffee.  "The business section is more interesting than you'd think.  The information is always inaccurate or out of date and it amuses me to see how wrong these so-called experts can be."  He blinks.  "Does that answer your question, Mokuba?"

Seto Kaiba gets his kicks outta reading the business section?  He's got one _weird_ sense o' humor.

...Cool, Kaiba can sorta hear me!  Hey, I wonder if I can get him to _really_ hear me... ?  Well, if he can't, maybe I can just get him to say some more weird stuff.  I'll hafta try that later.  I'm starting to feel a little better, not so worn out.

Mokuba's kinda confused, not that I blame him, so he ignores what Kaiba just said about the paper.  "About last night..."  Oh yeah, Kaiba never really talked about the 'bathroom scene', did he?  I'm sorta wonderin' about that myself.

He doesn't even look up.  "Later."

"...Okay..."

And that's it for breakfast conversation.

After they're done eating and cleaning up, they both go off and get dressed for school.  By the time they come back, a limo's outside, parked near the gates, to drive 'em there.  Jeesh, don't these guys ever walk anywhere?  Mokuba grabs his cute little knapsack and Kaiba grabs his huge honkin' metal briefcase and we all head out.  We pile into the limo like good little schoolboys, Mokuba first, then Kaiba, then me, and away we go.

First stop is Mokuba's school.  He gets off, waves buh-bye to his big bro, and goes to join his buddies.

Next stop is Domino High.  Kaiba gets off and so do I.  He stalks towards the school, funky white trench coat swooshing out behind him.  Very dramatic.  Everybody's climbin' over each other to get outta his way, treating him like he's royalty.  Same old, same old.  He gives everyone a cold smirk like it's funny.  Once a prick, always a prick.  I wish I could've dumped that coffee on him back at the mansion.

If I didn't know there was something seriously wrong with the guy, I'd swear he was fine.  Last night, what last night?  Walkin' talkin' robot Kaiba.  Mister "If it's not about me, Mokuba, or Kaiba Corporation, I don't care" Kaiba.  Nothin' wrong with him.

Besides the usual, I mean.  He's always been a jerk.

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	9. School Sucks and So Does the Food

**Summary:**  Tragedy strikes.  Joey Wheeler is gone forever.  Or is he?  Joey POV.  Post Duelist Kingdom AU.  Will eventually be Seto/Joey shounen-ai.

**Author's Notes:**  Well, I thought I'd try writing a YuGiOh fic.  And it's still going.

I never thought I'd get so many reviews for my first fic here.  Thank you ^_^

Regarding the relationship between Seto and Joey:  keep in mind the words "probably" and "eventually".  It'll probably happen, but it'll take a while...

**Warnings:**  Character death (sort of), language, angst, eventual Seto/Joey.

**Disclaimers:**  I don't own YuGiOh or any other brand names you might come across.  No hamburgers were harmed in the making of this fic.

**************************************************************************

**Being Dead Ain't Easy**

**Chapter Nine:  School Sucks and So Does the Food**

**************************************************************************

I spend the day following Kaiba around as he goes to his classes.  He does perfect in all of 'em.  How does he _do_ that?  How can he concentrate on schoolwork on a nice sunny day like this?  I hafta respect him a little for that; he runs a company and goes to school and still has time to do homework and take care of his little brother.  After _way_ too many classes, it's finally time for lunch.

Kaiba goes to his own little corner of the cafeteria, pulls a laptop and a sandwich he made at home outta his briefcase, and gets to work, typing with one hand while holding his sandwich in the other.

Tappity tap tap.  Munch munch.  Tappity tap tap.  Munch munch.  And repeat.

Now that I think about it, it's kinda weird that he's just havin' a sandwich for lunch.  I mean, he's rich, right?  He can afford to eat better than that.  He can afford to have more than, say, scrambled eggs and coffee for breakfast.

For a guy who lives in his own mansion, he sure does a lotta stuff himself.  I mean, shouldn't he have a cook or something to make breakfast in the morning?  Where's all the hired help he should have?  Where's the butlers and maids and cooks and stuff?  Yeah, he's got guards around the mansion and he's got his flashy limos, but what about the rest?  It's like he's only keepin' up appearances so that people don't find out he hasn't got the money.

Why wouldn't he have the money?  That doesn't make any sense.  Unless...  I know those five guys who turned on Kaiba wanted to bring him down, but they wouldn't totally screw up his company just because they didn't win, would they?  I mean, Kaiba... _broke_?  That makes about as much sense as Kaiba... _nice_.  Well, he's probably not broke.  He's the type o' guy who'd have wads of cash hidden away.

It's not my problem.  Kaiba's a big boy; he can deal with it.

He glances up and his lip curls in disgust at some kid, no, at the cafeteria food he's eating.  Yuck.  I'm glad I'll never hafta eat that crud again.  Kaiba's frowning.

Okay, I'll bite.  What's he lookin' at?  What's so awful about the food?  Besides the obvious, I mean.  We both stare at the kid's lunch.  I feel kinda weird following Kaiba's lead, but whatever.

Today's special is some kinda meat thing, I think.  The kid splatters ketchup all over it to make it taste better, but it looks really, really disgusting.  I'm almost expecting the 'food' to squeal like a wounded animal when the kid stabs into it with a cheap plastic knife.  He pins it down with a matching cheap plastic fork and starts cutting.  The knife's pretty dull so every time he saws into the meat, juices ooze outta the flesh and mingle with the bright red-

_he's lookin' at my torso.  He's got blood all over him, and it's not his.  His eyes go kinda glassy as he stares at all the red stuff_

FLASH

_somebody's blown a freakin' hole in me.  It looks real bad_

FLASH

_man, there's so much blood.  Probably why I'm feelin' pretty woozy.  At least it doesn't hurt so much anymore_

FLASH

_only way Kaiba'd be warm would be if he was radioactive.  Maybe it's just the warm blood I bled all over him_

-I think I'm gonna be sick.  I tried so hard not to think about it, but I can't, _I can't_...

Kaiba's gone pale.  _Did he just see...?_  He stuffs everything back in his briefcase and runs, yeah, _runs_, outta there.  Shit, I can't leave him alone, so I take a few deep not-breaths and chase after Kaiba.  He barges into the first empty classroom he finds, takes a sec to make sure there's really nobody in there, and slams the door right after I get through.  He lurches away from the door and collapses against a desk.  Good idea, _great_ idea, so I do the same.  He looks about as bad as I feel.  We're both shaking all over.  He looks like he's gonna hurl.  If he doesn't pass out first.  He's sorta chokin' a little. A lot.  He ends up on the floor.

I try to whack him on the back, but my hand goes right through him.  Damn!  "Kaiba, Kaiba, breathe, man."  He lets out a strangled gasp.  "That's it, be a good little CEO and breathe, yeah, that's it..."

He manages a whispered, "Wheeler..."

"Yeah, yeah, it's me, the one an' only Joey Wheeler.  I'm sorry, I'm really sorry about whatever the hell just happened, but maybe you're the one that did it, I dunno, I'm sorry, I dunno why I'm apologizin' to ya, but I'm sorry anyway, so please don't have a heart attack an' die, okay?"

After about a thousand years of him lookin' like he's seconds away from needin' an ambulance, he shudders one more time, pulls himself together, and straightens his trench coat.  He runs a hand through his brown hair, and just like that, his "Stone Cold Kaiba" face is back on.

Whoa.  What just happened?  "Kaiba?"

He doesn't see me.  He just grabs the briefcase he dropped on the floor and leaves.

"Hey!"  I'm still too shaky to follow him.  "Come back here, ya jerk!"

He closes the door behind him.  Doesn't even look back.

DAMMIT!  I slam a fist on a handy desk.  There's no 'thud' when it connects.

Did he not know I was there or something!?  I mean, he said my _name_, for cryin' out loud!  That means that he heard me before, right?  Me goin' on and on about how sorry I was for doin' who-knows-what.

Ugh.  Never mind.  I hope he _didn't_ hear me.  But then he must've, because he said my name.

Unless he just goes "Wheeler!" whenever he feels stressed?  Like a, whatchamacallit, knee-jerk reaction.  But in that case, shouldn't he be going "Yuugi!" instead?  It'd make more sense.  Yuugi's like his arch-nemesis or something.  'Course, Yuugi doesn't think so.

Or maybe he just... forgot... I was there?  Like he can't believe I'm there so he just blocks it outta his mind.

Or maybe just can't sense me at all.  He's just plain flipped and randomly spazzes out now.  That works.

Gah, this is too deep for me.  I think I'll just sit down for awhile.  I'm not feelin' too hot, myself.  Having flashbacks about-

_don't think about it_

-uh, stuff... does that to a guy.

Yeah, and I gotta calm down so I don't strangle Mr. Bastard for not seein' me.

~~~###~~~

When I get back to Kaiba, he's finishing off his sandwich but with his back turned to the rest of the room this time.  I guess he doesn't wanna see anyone else butcher lunch.  That's okay, I don't wanna, either.  I sit next to him and try to figure out the freak that is Kaiba.

Yuugi, Bakura, Tristan, and Tea are all sittin' at another table, but Yuugi looks at us, says something to the gang, and comes over.  Kaiba hears him coming and turns around.  "What do _you_ want?" he sneers.

Yuugi just smiles in that sweet way of his.  "Hey, Kaiba!  Do you want to play Duel Monsters?  I have some free time right now and we haven't played in a long time.  Just for fun?"  He _wants_ to duel Kaiba?  Wait, I know that look on Yuugi's face.  He's trying to cheer Kaiba up.  Good luck.  He gazes up at him with great big violet eyes that belong on someone half his age.  I hate it when Yuugi does that.  You can't argue with the guy when he looks so... ugh... adorable.  Make him stop, Kaiba!

Kaiba turns back to his laptop.  He's not lookin', so he's immune to the 'Big Wide Kiddie Eyes o' Doom'.  "I'm not in the mood."

Yuugi switches tactics.  The little guy's puzzle flashes and now he looks a lot taller.  And meaner.  "I see.  I understand if your skills have gotten a bit... rusty.  Perhaps next time, once your dueling is actually up to par," taunts the other Yuugi.

I hope ya know what you're doin', Yuugi.  Either of you.  Insulting Kaiba's abilities at Duel Monsters is asking to get your ass kicked.  But then, this is Yuugi we're talkin' about.  There's no ledges Kaiba can threaten to jump off of handy, cheatin' bastard.  Yuugi's not gonna lose.

A creepy smile crawls across Kaiba's face.  "If you put it that way... I'm always up for a duel... Yuugi Mutou."  He turns off the laptop and carefully puts it back into the briefcase.  They're gonna duel.

I get outta the way and get ready to see Kaiba lose.  Yeah, this is gonna be good.

**************************************************************************


	10. Confrontation

**Summary:**  Tragedy strikes.  Joey Wheeler is gone forever.  Or is he?  Joey POV.  Post Duelist Kingdom AU.  Will eventually be Seto/Joey shounen-ai.

**Author's Notes:**  Well, I thought I'd try writing a YuGiOh fic.  And it's still going.

Thanks for all the reviews ^_^

Ryan:  I'm too busy, but you can chain Joey to your desk after I'm done with him, instead.  Just to write stories, of course.

Andrea-likes-Yugi&Ryou:  Possession seems like a highly specialized skill.  Joey probably won't be able to do it.

Why do I write short chapters and update almost every day instead of posting longer ones every few days?  Answer: because if I don't post every day, I have a nasty habit of not finishing a fic at all.  That's happened to every single multi-parter I've attempted.  I'm hoping that if I write it this way, I'll actually make it to the end…

**Warnings:**  Character death (sort of), language, angst, eventual Seto/Joey.

**Disclaimers:**  I don't own YuGiOh or any other brand names you might come across.  No curiously strong mints were harmed in the making of this fic.

**************************************************************************

**Being Dead Ain't Easy**

**Chapter Ten:  Confrontation**

**************************************************************************

They clear off the table and whip out their decks.  Hey, cool, a non-lethal game for once!  It's not quite as thrilling without the holograms and stuff, but it's still fun to watch.  Everybody comes over to watch, but Kaiba glares at 'em until they leave.  The two duelists shuffle each other's decks and get started.

The other Yuugi, I guess I'll call him Yami Yuugi, smirks.  "Let's see how much you've learned about the heart of the cards since we last dueled, Kaiba."

Kaiba rolls his eyes.  "Oh, please, Yuugi, don't get started with that.  Save your 'heart of the cards' for someone who cares.  You go first."

"As you wish."  Yami Yuugi looks at his hand.  "I place this card face-down in Defense mode.  That ends my turn."

"Pathetic."

"Just play, Kaiba.  Unless you're already admitting your defeat?"

"Ha!  _You'll_ be the one admitting defeat!  I summon... Ryu-Kishin Powered!"

I go over to Kaiba and peek at his hand over his shoulder.  Wow, those are kick-ass cards.  He must've added some new stuff to his deck.  I check my buddy's hand.  Not-Yuugi's in for a tough game.  Beaver Warriors do not a victory make.  I go back to Kaiba.  "Looks like ya might win this one, rich boy."  He doesn't answer, but did he just smirk a little more?

They play back and forth for a while, insultin' each other every turn.  Funny, I wonder why Kaiba never calls _Yuugi _a dog?  It's not fair, I tell ya!

Yami Yuugi summons his Dark Magician, only to have it trashed by Kaiba's Blue Eyes White Dragon.  They insult each other some more before the other Yuugi wipes out the Blue Eyes with some strategy using Kuribohs, Multiply, and a Catapult Turtle.  No idea how that worked.  I'd never be able to pull something like that off.  Not that I could even try; I don't have my deck.  I wonder what happened to it?

After Kaiba's done hissin' about how "it's not possible!  Those furballs couldn't have destroyed my mighty Blue Eyes White Dragon!" they get back to playing.  It's not looking good for my buddy.  Yuugi's down to 100 Life Points, while Kaiba's at 300.  Kaiba really _is_ gonna win this one... no, wait!  Yuugi's smirking!  I rush over and see what he's got.  Hey, Yami Yuugi has Swords of Revealing Light!  That's gonna totally screw Kaiba!

"Heh, I guess you're not gonna win after all, Moneybags!  Yuugi's got Swords o' Revealin' Light!" Yuugi's gonna win!  Yuugi's gonna win!

Kaiba's about to end his turn, but pauses, changes his mind, and puts another card face down on the field.  _Then_ he ends his turn.

Yami Yuugi pulls a card outta his hand and slams it on the table.  "I play the magic card... Swords of Revealing Light!"  That's it, Kaiba, it's Game Over!

Kaiba smirks.  Uh oh.  "Not so fast.  I knew you'd do something of the sort, so I placed this trap card on the field."  How'd he know?

"It's not-!"

Kaiba laughs like a crazy person.  "It is!  I activate Magic Jammer!  Your precious magic card is negated!  And since I activated this trap card, I discard one card from my hand to the Graveyard."  He picks a card and tosses it.

Yami Yuugi's not happy.  "Very well.  I place another monster face down in defense mode and end my turn."  I take a look before he puts it down.  Giant Soldier of Stone.  It's got 2000 Defense Points.  Kaiba hasn't got any monsters in his hand that can get through _that_.  All he's got on the field is a Battle Ox with 1700 Attack Points.

"Good move, Yuugi!  If Kaiba attacks the Giant Soldier o' Stone, it's game over for him!  It'll wipe out his life points!"  I go back to Kaiba and check over his shoulder to see what he's gonna do.

"Running away, Yuugi?  Ha!  I attack with-"  Kaiba suddenly stops.  "Giant Soldier of Stone..." he says softly.  He blinks and takes his turn.  "No, I play the magic card... Black Hole!  That destroys all monster cards on the field.  So much for your monster."  Aw man, Kaiba really _is_ gonna win...

Yami Yuugi narrows his eyes.  "How did you know that my _face-down_ monster was the Giant Soldier of Stone?"  He glares at Kaiba, but then his gaze drifts to Kaiba's shoulder.

The other Yuugi's starin' at me.

He's staring RIGHT AT ME.

"...Kaiba."

"What."

"What do you see?"

"You.  Why?"

"Look behind you."  YUUGI CAN SEE ME! YUUGI CAN SEE ME!  "No, wait, he disappeared."

Darn.

Kaiba cranes his neck and looks at me.  I look right back at him.  "There's no one there.  Now play the game or forfeit, Yuugi."  The other Yuugi frowns, goes back to his cards.

This is really pissing me off.  Make up your minds already!  Can you see me or not!?  "I'M RIGHT HERE!"

Yami Yuugi's head shoots up.  Oooh yeah, he can see me.  Or at least hear me.  "Uh, Kaiba..."

"Yuugi, can you see me?  Come on, say somethin'!"  I wave my arms so he can see me better.  I'm still standing behind Kaiba just in case he's some kinda 'ghost battery' or something.  Maybe he makes me easier to see.

"Kaiba."

"Shut up and play."  Kaiba's refusing to look behind him.

"KAIBA," he growls.

"PLAY."

Mind Crusher Yuugi slams his cards on the table and stands up.  "Seto Kaiba, I REFUSE to play Duel Monsters while Joey is hovering over the table helping you cheat!"

"Joey Wheeler is _dead_ and rotting in the ground," hisses Kaiba.  Thank you _so_ much, ya jerk.  I really needed to hear that.  "How DARE you tell me that he's here with us right now!  And listen to yourself: '_helping me cheat_'?  If the dog was around, he'd be helping _you_ cheat!"

"Open your _eyes_, Kaiba!  He's right _there_!"  Not-Yuugi points straight at me.

Kaiba looks, sees nothing... or pretends to see nothing.  He grabs his cards off the table.  "Enough with this, Mutou.  I don't know what you're playing at, but..." he seems to come to a conclusion.  From the look on his face, it's a bad one.  "It was you who broke into my mansion and left that message, wasn't it!?" he snarls.

Yami Yuugi's puzzled, no pun intended.  "...What?"

"I'd assumed it was that thug friend of yours-"

"His name is Tristan."

"-that _thug friend of yours_, but it must've been you all along.  Really, I thought you were better than that, but I guess I was wrong."

"Look, Kaiba, I don't know what you're insinuating, but I will not stand here and let you insult me!"  Suddenly, a glowin' eye shows up in the middle of Yami Yuugi's forehead.  Seriously bad sign here.  Not good.

But just as suddenly, it disappears and nice-Yuugi's back.  He grabs Kaiba's arm.  "I'm really, really sorry, Kaiba.  I don't know what came over me."  I run over to Yuugi and get in his face.  He doesn't blink and his eyes don't follow me.  I guess _this_ Yuugi can't see me.  Bummer.

Kaiba yanks his arm away.  "Whatever, Mutou."  He yanks his arm away so fast Yuugi goes flyin' into the table and his cards go all over the place.  A Dark Magician goes flying through my head.

"Yuugi!  You okay, pal?"  I can't do anything, but the gang's comin' over now.

Kaiba heads for the door.

Not so fast, ya creep!  "Where do ya think you're goin'!?  Yuugi could be lyin' there with a head injury or something!"  I yell after him.

Kaiba stops at the doorway.

"Well!?"

He turns around and goes back to the table.  "...Still alive, Mutou?"

"...I think so..."  Yuugi's trying to get up.  He looks okay, thank god.  Tristan's glarin' murder at Kaiba while Bakura and Tea help Yuugi.

Kaiba starts pickin' up Yuugi's cards.  There's a lot of 'em scattered around on the floor, tables, everywhere.  Yuugi must've been carryin' a spare deck or something that got loose when he hit the table.  Kuriboh, Beaver Warrior, Baby Dragon, Dark Magician, Flame Swordsman, Summoned Skull, Kunai with Chain, Time Wizard, Red Eyes Black Dragon...

Waitaminute.

"This isn't your deck, Yuugi Mutou."

Yuugi stops brushing off his clothes.  "I know.  Joey's dad found it in his room.  He didn't know what to do with it, so," Yuugi swallows, looks down, "...so he gave Joey's deck to me," he finishes.

Kaiba scowls.  "Then you should take better care of it.  Here."  He gives him the cards he picked up.  "I have to get to class.  We should duel again sometime.  Just keep dog-boy out of it," he tosses on his way out.  Since he's going to class, I guess I hafta, too.

Dog, dog-boy, dumb mutt, chihuahua...

I shoulda haunted Yuugi.  Now that I think about it, maybe I'll go pay him a little visit later.

~~~###~~~

A long time later, Kaiba's classes are finally all over.  I have fun making faces at the teachers.  Once the final bell rings, he pulls a cellphone outta his pocket and calls for a limo to pick him up.  We head outside to wait for it.  Yuugi and the gang walk past him on their way home.

"See you tomorrow, Kaiba!" he chirps.  Nobody else is talkin' to Kaiba.

"Hn," he grunts.  Kaiba's still angry about the whole 'Joey's right there!' mess.

The gang heads off.  No, wait, Tristan's hanging back.

Kaiba lifts an eyebrow as Tristan stalks up to him.  What's he gonna do to Kaiba?

He gets right in Kaiba's face.  "It should've been you, you bastard," he grits out.  "It should have been you.  He was a million times better than you'd ever be."  Who's he talkin' about... oh.  Uh, thanks.

Kaiba looks bored.  "Do you have nothing better to do than harass me?  Go join those brainless twits you call friends."

"WHY YOU-!"  Tristan shouts.  He pulls back a fist.

Tristan, you're smarter than this!  Kaiba's, like, a black belt or something!  There's no way you're gonna be able to kick his rich ass.  I should know; he always wipes the floor with me.  I try to grab him and stop him from doin' anything stupid, but I'm not doin' too good, it's not working.  The gang realizes something is wrong and they all come back and rush over here.  It takes Bakura, Tea, and Yuugi to hold him back.  Not so much Yuugi 'cause he's, well, you don't need me to say it, right?

"Don't fight, guys!" pleads Yuugi.

"Fighting won't solve anything," adds Bakura.  I can see the outline of that ring of his through his shirt.

Tristan's still struggling, still looking like he wants a piece of Kaiba.  Kaiba's standing there, emotionless.

Tea somehow gets an arm around Tristan's neck and drags him down.  She forces him to look into her eyes.  "Listen to me."  He's not payin' any attention to her.  "Listen!"  She whaps him on the head.  _That_ got his attention.  "Kaiba's not worth it.  Joey wouldn't want you to get hurt, Tristan," she says softly.  "Kaiba's not worth it."

The limo gets here and Kaiba sneers at everyone before hightailin' it outta there.

"Come back here, coward!" screams Tristan.  The gang leaps on him and they all fall down in a mess o' arms and legs.  Everybody's shouting and trying to calm him down.

Kaiba doesn't even look back.  He walks so fast I hafta run to catch up.  We get in the limo, Kaiba snarls "Drive!" and we're gone.

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	11. What You See Is What You Get

**Summary:**  Tragedy strikes.  Joey Wheeler is gone forever.  Or is he?  Joey POV.  Post Duelist Kingdom AU.  Will eventually be Seto/Joey shounen-ai.

**Author's Notes:**  Well, I thought I'd try writing a YuGiOh fic.  And it's still going.  And going

Wow, over 100 reviews!  Virtual hugs to all!  *breaks out the 'grape juice'*

Jou-pup:  "Curiously strong mints" is all I remember from some ad I saw at a movie theatre.  I think they were called Altoids(?).  It doesn't really mean anything.  Nice to know you read the disclaimers ^_^ 

Sorry, this chapter's a bit short :P

**Warnings:**  Character death (sort of), language, angst, eventual Seto/Joey.

**Disclaimers:**  I don't own YuGiOh or any other brand names you might come across.  No extraterrestrial spacecrafts were harmed in the making of this fic.

**************************************************************************

**Being Dead Ain't Easy**

**Chapter Eleven:  What You See Is What You Get**

**************************************************************************

Kaiba glares out the window at anything and everything as we zoom past.  He's pissed.  Wow, I didn't know things were _this_ bad between him and Tristan.  It's not like I care or anything, but Kaiba doesn't deserve what Tristan's trying to dish out.  Not for getting me killed, anyway.  He deserves to get beat up for all the _other_ stuff he's done.  But not because of me.

"What is our destination, Mr. Kaiba sir?" asks the driver.

"Kaiba Corp."

The mothership?  "Why?  Left your wallet there?"  I ask out loud.

Kaiba rolls his eyes.  "Stupid dog.  I have to work."

"Sir?"

"Enough questions.  Just drive."

I better keep quiet.  If Kaiba blames everything I say on the driver, I'm gonna get the poor guy fired.

Twenty minutes later, we park in front of a huge office building.  Kaiba Corporation.  The driver goes to pick up Mokuba.  I follow Kaiba up the elevator to his office.  It's got a great view, like you can almost see the whole city from here.  I wonder if Kaiba ever stands in front of the window and looks outside?  I bet he does, and I bet he goes 'This is all _mine!_' before laughing like one o' those cheesy bad guys ya see on TV.

He goes and puts his briefcase down, sits behind his massive desk, takes his laptop out, and hooks it up to the computer on his desk.  Then he boots 'em up and starts typing away.  I sit on the edge of his desk, swinging my legs a little, and just do some Kaiba-watchin'.

He gets this little frown on his face when he's working, ya know.  When he's thinking real hard, he starts chewin' on his lip, too.  I've still got no idea what he's doing.  It wouldn't hurt to ask him, would it?  I mean, he was hearing me pretty good before.  "Hey, Kaiba, what cha doin'?"

"Working on the company budget.  It's in shambles.  Now be quiet, I have to concentrate."

I freeze.  If I was breathing, it would've caught in my throat.

He's talking to me.  For real.  Not pretendin' I'm Mokuba or his limo guy.  Not some gasped "Wheeler" when he's totally out of it.  "Kaiba?  You hear me?"

Tappity tap tap, says his laptop.  Whiirrrrr, adds his desktop computer.  Too bad I wasn't asking _them_.

"Come on, Kaiba, don't do this to me, man!  If ya can, I really wanna know.  As a matter o' fact, I _know_ ya can."

No answer.  More typing.

I wanna grab his stupid laptop and chuck it out the window.  It's not worth the effort, though.  I go for the next best thing; I use my funky ghost powers to get between him and his computers and grab him by the shoulders.  He _has_ to look at me now.  I'm staring right into his eyes.

The position's kinda weird.  He's not typing anymore, but he's got his arms stuck through my middle and I'm sorta sittin' on his lap.  I'm getting tingly where his arms are.  I wish he'd pull them outta there.

Kaiba goes pale.  He can see me, I know he can.  He just has to admit it.

He swallows, closes his eyes, clenches his teeth, and starts typing again.

He's doin' it on purpose.  The bastard's ignoring me _on purpose_.  Maybe, _maybe_, he didn't see me before his duel with Yuugi, but he sure does now.

So what am I supposed to think?  What am I supposed to do?

How am I supposed to break through Kaiba's big, thick skull and make him _see _me?

I squeeze his shoulders.  Just a little, not enough to tire me out.

He freezes.

That did the trick.  "That's right, Kaiba, ya can't pretend I'm not there anymore.  No more runnin', no more hidin'," I tell him.  "I'm here whether ya want it or not."

He's not talking.  Or moving.

"Kaiba?  Moneybags?  Rich boy?"

He's like a statue.

Okay, I dunno what to do here.  He's not sayin' anything.

When in doubt, get help.  That's what friends are for.  I get off of Kaiba.  "Alright.  I'm gonna see Yuugi now.  When I come back, Seto Kaiba, you an' me are gonna have a long talk."

He stares at his computer monitor and pretends I'm not there.  He doesn't even twitch.  Faker.  He's just bein' a bastard, that's all.

"See ya later, Moneybags."

He's still starin' at the screen.  He hasn't blinked once.

I didn't fry his brain, did I?  Are ya supposed to shove the truth in somebody's face even if they don't wanna believe it?  I mean, he was _already_ pretty messed up before, and what I just did might've pushed him too far...

"Kaiba, are you gonna be okay?"

"Go and visit your friend," he whispers.  "I'll be here working for a few more hours."  He's not lookin' at me.  Still not moving.

Well, it looks like I actually did what I set out to do to Kaiba that night in the cemetery.  He's cracked.  I did that to him.

And I'm not happy about it.

I'll... I'll deal with this later.  It's time to go.

Since I can't take the elevator 'cause I can't push the buttons without sufferin' a nasty dizzy spell, I focus on being 'not-there' and sink through the carpet.  I get to see the stuff on each floor as I go past it.  Most of it's pretty boring.  After a while, I hit the ground floor and head outside.  I figure out which street I'm on and hitch a ride with the Joey Wheeler Undead Hitchhiker technique.  Who needs limos?  Who needs Kaiba?

He'll be his usual nasty self by the time I get back.

He will.

Turtle Game Shop, here I come.

**************************************************************************


	12. Some Bad News, and Some More Bad News

**Summary:**  Tragedy strikes.  Joey Wheeler is gone forever.  Or is he?  Joey POV.  Post Duelist Kingdom AU.  Will eventually be Seto/Joey shounen-ai.

**Author's Notes:**  Well, I thought I'd try writing a YuGiOh fic.  And it's still going.  And going

Thanks to all those folks who take the time to write reviews! I'll try my best to deserve them.

JKJ:  Hmmm... what to do about Tristan?  I'll do something about him eventually...

**Warnings:**  Character death (sort of), language, angst, eventual Seto/Joey.

**Disclaimers:**  I don't own YuGiOh or any other brand names you might come across.  No buckles were harmed in the making of this fic.

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**Being Dead Ain't Easy**

**Chapter Twelve:  Some Bad News, and Some More Bad News**

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I fall outta my ride and dash across the street 'til I reach the game shop.  I'm getting pretty good at this; I don't get hit by cars this time.  I go in.  Grandpa's at the counter, so I'm guessing Yuugi's upstairs.  The little guy's probably in his room doing homework or something.

I walk up the stairs and stand outside of Yuugi's room.  The door's closed but I'm about to go in anyway when I hear raised voices, errr, voice.

"-to Kaiba!  You can't bring up something like that just because – ...Don't interrupt me! – just because a duel isn't going the way you want it to!  I don't know if you thought it was funny – ...Well, it sure seemed like you thought it was! – ...but you can't do that!"

I sure hope Yuugi's talking to that guy in the Puzzle.  If he's not, then he's got more problems than Kaiba.  I go through the door and hope Yuugi's not naked.

Yuugi's sitting on his bed with his arms crossed, his eyes following an invisible something back and forth.  He doesn't see me.  Big surprise, there.

"I don't believe you!  If he really _was_ there, why didn't you see him before?" he argues with empty air.

I know I'm missing half the conversation.  The other Yuugi has got to be in here unless Yuugi's yellin' at himself.  I look where Yuugi's looking and try to see what he's seeing.  After some squinting, I start to see little bits of dust floating in the air.  I'm guessing that's not it.

"...That's sounds like a pretty big coincidence to me!"

I think I'm seeing something!  There's a sorta fuzziness in the air.  I concentrate on it and it's like I opened a whole new set of eyes.  There's two Yuugis:  a solid one on the bed and a sorta transparent one pacing back and forth.

"But it's true!" the shadowy Yuugi argues back.

"It can't be true! There's no-" Yuugi's eyes fall on the clock on his desk.  "Oh no!  I have to do my homework!" He leaps up and digs through his knapsack.

"Yuugi..." grumbles the other guy.

Yuugi dumps five textbooks on his desk.  "Can't talk now, project due tomorrow!"

"I really _did_ see Joey."

"No you didn't, and lalala I can't hear you."

"Hmph."  Yami Yuugi... pouts?  And sits on the bed.

This looks like a good time to interrupt.  I stand in front of Yuugi's double.  "Uh, Yami Yuugi?"

No reaction.  I guess I hafta go all out.  "YAMI YUUGI, I'M GONNA RIP THAT PUZZLE OFF AND BEAT YA OVER THE HEAD WITH IT!" I scream at the top of my lungs right in his face.  Yeah, I'm a little stressed out.  Sue me.

A big wave of shadow power shoves me across the room and I smash clean through the wall.  Yup, that was a reaction, alright.  I get back up.  I'm outside Yuugi's room again, not hurt or anything.

After a while, Yami Yuugi comes outta the room in all his leather glory and crosses his arms.  "I'm sorry, Joey.  You startled me."  He doesn't sound very sorry.

I can't glare like Kaiba, but I do my best.  "Don't see how I coulda startled ya.  I was there the whole time."

He rolls his eyes.  "Well, I couldn't _see_ you the whole time."

"Why not!?  I'm a spirit, you're a spirit, what's the problem here?"

"In case you haven't noticed, we are _different kinds_ of spirits!  I could not see you until I deliberately searched for another presence."  And the moment he saw me, he slammed me into a wall.  Huh.

"Who are you talking to, Yami?" asks Yuugi through the door.

"Errr... Myself.  Keep working on that project of yours, Yuugi," he calls back.  He glares at me, jerks his head towards the bathroom, and heads for it.  I've never really talked to the guy outside of duels, but he reminds me of Kaiba.  Maybe he's just havin' a really bad day.  I follow him.

"So... why're we in the bathroom?" I ask him.

He leans against the counter.  "Because I don't want Yuugi to hear us.  He would be rather distraught if I said I was talking to you."

"Uh, why?"

He shrugs.  "Apparently, it is easier to accept the existence of ancient Egyptian spirits trapped in magical items than it is to accept the fact that the tormented soul of your best friend is trapped on the mortal plane and doomed to wander the earth until his essence fades as if he had never been, lost to the four winds."

I blink.  Trapped?  Doomed?  "Run that by me again."

Yami Yuugi has the decency to look kinda apologetic.  "I'm sorry, I thought you knew."

Like _hell_ I knew.  I think about reaching out and choking him with his own neck-belt, but then I remember his shadow powers and settle for crossing my arms, instead.  "How was I supposed to know that, Yuugi – I mean, Yami?  Do I look like I'm carryin' a 'Ghosts for Dummies' manual, here?" I growl.  I swear I'm getting more like Kaiba every day.  I hang around him too much.

"I would assume that kind of knowledge would be innate.  Surely you have felt yourself beginning to weaken?"  He plays with his Puzzle.  "I know that even with the Puzzle and all its ancient magicks to anchor my spirit, I tire easily when I am not sharing a body with Yuugi."

That dizzy spell...  And I ain't got no super duper magic anchor handy.  "So you're sayin' that I'm finally gonna move on to the Afterlife."  And I was almost getting used to this, too.  "I can't say I'm happy 'bout it, but it's about time."

"Ah..."  Yami Yuugi won't meet my eyes.  I don't think I'm gonna like what he's gonna say.  "I didn't say you would be continuing your journey."

I don't like where this is going.  "So what're you sayin'?"

"...Your spirit will fade, as all ghosts do."

NO WAY!  Not only am I dead, but my soul's a goner, too!?  "You're kiddin' me!  I've seen the movies; ghosts don't just... _fade!_"

Yami Yuugi glares at me with those freaky red eyes of his.  "The movies are _wrong_.  Why else do you think you haven't encountered any more specters like yourself?  I'll tell you why:  It's because most ghosts don't last for more than a month, at most!  Occasionally, a spirit is strong enough, angry enough, or traumatized enough to endure for many years, but even those fade into nothingness!  Those who do not move on when they die... never do."

"You're just fulla good news, aren't cha."  I narrow my eyes.  "So... what?  It's gonna be 'poof', no more Joey, huh?"

"I'm afraid so."

So what's the big difference between him and me?  Bingo.  "That Puzzle big enough to share?"

"No."

So I'll just hafta get my own.  "No biggie.  I'll hop on a plane an' go to Egypt, pick up my own.  I mean, everywhere we go we trip over some guy with a Millennium Item!  How hard can it be?"

He shoots my plan down.  "I wish it were that simple, Joey.  A spirit must be bound to an item with powerful magicks, and the knowledge to do such a thing has been lost millennia ago."

"Then _you_ do it!" I shout.

"The knowledge has been _lost!_" he shouts back.  "I remember little more than how to duel!"

"WHAT SHOULD I DO THEN!?"

Silence.

He looks away again.  "Put your affairs in order.  There is little else you _can_ do.  I'll help you if I can."

My affairs... oh shit.  "Kaiba."

Yami Yuugi's ears perk up.  "What about Kaiba?"

"I, errr... sorta broke him."

"You _broke_ Kaiba?"  He smirks like it's good news.  "Did you shove him down the stairs?"

This guy does _not_ like Kaiba.  And shoving people down the stairs is cheap.  "Nooo… I made him admit I was hauntin' him.  I think he snapped."  I look down.  "I dunno what to do."  Why am I even askin' this guy?  Judging him by how much help he's given me so far, he's probably not gonna be all that useful, here.

And I'm right.  "He has a strong mind.  I'm sure he hasn't _completely_ snapped."

"Thanks, your advice is gonna do him a whole lotta good right now."

Yami Yuugi snorts.  "I'm not really a 'people' person, Joey.  Being trapped in a puzzle for several thousand years does that to you."

"Yeah, I noticed."

He gives me a look and pushes past me.  "Excuse me while I try to convince Yuugi of your existence.  And help him with his homework."

"Uh, bye..."  I guess the conversation's over.  Maybe I could've been more polite.

I head back out.  I don't really _have_ that many affairs to put in order.  Just how to say my goodbyes to everyone, maybe.  I push as much as I can outta my mind so I don't hafta think about what that Yami guy said, and work on the biggest thing I can do something about right now:

What I'm gonna say to Kaiba.

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	13. Sucks To Be Kaiba

**Summary:**  Tragedy strikes.  Joey Wheeler is gone forever.  Or is he?  Joey POV.  Post Duelist Kingdom AU.  Will eventually be Seto/Joey shounen-ai.

**Author's Notes:**  Well, I thought I'd try writing a YuGiOh fic.  And it's still going.  And going

I've never gotten so many reviews before in my life.  Thank you ^_^

YAMIGIRL:  Magicks looks better than magics.  That's the only reason I spelled it that way there.  It's not _exactly_ a typo *cough*.

Why was Yami so cold to Joey in Chap12?  Here are some reasons; pick the one(s) you like the most:  A) Yami was a pharaoh even if he doesn't remember, so he tends to suppress softer emotions so as not to show weakness.  B) Most of Yami's niceness comes from Yuugi, so when they're not sharing a body, he's rather unpleasant.  C) Yami has no people skills, so even though he's happy to see Joey, he doesn't know how to show it.  D) Yami didn't beat Kaiba in a duel, he just got yelled at and called a liar by Yuugi, and some ghost just screamed in his face.  Why would he be happy to see the source of his problems?  E) Seeing Joey _now_ means that Joey's soul is going to cease to exist.  No more soul = no reincarnation = no more Joey anytime, anywhere.  So Yami's not happy to see him.

I should probably mention that I don't know much about ancient Egyptian beliefs.  I'm making up stuff that'll work in the fic.  If I'm even close, it's by accident :P

**Warnings:**  Character death (sort of), language, angst, eventual Seto/Joey.

**Disclaimers:**  I don't own YuGiOh or any other brand names you might come across.  No telephones were harmed in the making of this fic.

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**Being Dead Ain't Easy**

**Chapter Thirteen:  Sucks To Be Kaiba**

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Well, here I am back at Kaiba Corp.  I have a bit of trouble getting through the hallways 'cause it's getting late and everybody's in a rush to go home.  I hate it when people walk through me.  I just hate it.  I make my way past the crowd and float up to the floor Kaiba's on.  I hope he stayed put, but then again, he wasn't in any condition to be goin' anywhere when I left him.  I hope he at least blinked.

He's sitting in his chair, flipping through a report or something, and doesn't even look when my head comes outta the carpet in front of his desk.  No reaction.  Don't tell me he can't see me _again!  _Or maybe he has some sorta amnesia thing going?  It's like I never messed him up in the first place.

"Yo, rich boy."

He glances up at me.  Good.  "I see you're back," he says oh so casually.  He flips to the next page of his report.

I can't believe this guy.  _'I see you're back'!?_  Less than two hours ago he was frozen solid in his chair, his arms stickin' out in front of him, and now he's fine, just doing his work?  I know Yami 'Put your affairs in order' Yuugi said he's got a strong mind, but that's just... freaky.  I walk up to his desk as he flips to the next page of his report and take a look at what he's reading.  Stuff with numbers and words like 'budget', 'revenue', and 'profit'.  Important stuff.  Heavy stuff.  CEO-ishy stuff.

And if I'm not mistaken, he's readin' it upside down and not even noticing.

Flip.  Every movement under control.  Not a hair outta place.

A great actor.  Give the man an Oscar or something.

"So are you going to talk, puppy-boy?  I don't have all day."  Flip.  Still pretending to read that report.

You wanna play it cool, Kaiba?  Sure, we can do that.

I park my butt on the edge of his desk.  I get the feeling that if he wasn't so busy being calm and collected, he'd chuck the report at my head.

It would probably be a good idea to start someplace easy and work my way back.  Turtle Game Shop will do nicely.  With some careful editing, of course.  "I said 'hi' to Yuugi.  Well, sort of."

"And the little Mutou said 'hi' back to you, I assume."

Why'd he think that?  "Well, no, he didn't.  But the other one did."

Kaiba blinks.  "The old man?"

I roll my eyes.  "I mean the other Yuugi.  The one in the Puzzle.  The dead Egyptian dude."

Blink.  At least he's not 'reading' that report anymore.

I guess Yuugi never told Kaiba about his Millennium Puzzle.  "That's the guy you've been dueling.  We call him Yami Yuugi.  He takes over Yuugi's body every now and then."  Kaiba has a sorta 'oh!' look on his face.  "What didja _think_ was happening every time Yuugi went all weird?"

"I simply thought he had some sort of personality disorder.  It was the puzzle all along?" he asks.  I nod.  He looks like he wants to ask some more questions about it, but he changes his mind.  He looks like he's taking all of this really well.  Is there anything this guy can't fake?  "Interesting, but this 'Yami Yuugi' person is not important right now.  Continue with your little story."

Okay.  Sounds too much like an order to me, but okay.  "So I talked to that 'Yami' guy.  He's the only one I know who can see me, besides you."  And talkin' about seeing me...  "So how long've ya been pretending to be blind?"

And deaf, too.  He's not answering me.  Again.

This is getting _so_ old.  "Kaiba, if ya don't say anything, I'm gonna hafta hurt you."

He flips another page of his upside down report.

Alright, that's it.  I'm trying to be all nice and understanding here, but I am _this_ close to...

The phone on his desk rings and saves him from certain death.  He picks it up while I glare at him.  "Kaiba," he answers.  The guy on the other end says a bunch of stuff I can't hear.  Kaiba's knuckles go white on the receiver.  Bad news?  "No.  You're lying," he says, voice flat.

The other guy says some more stuff.

He takes a deep breath.  "Have you informed my brother?"

Some more stuff.

"Good.  You're not totally useless."  Another deep breath.  "Now, what do the words 'maximum security' mean to you?"

More stuff.

"Such incompetence is _intolerable!_" he snarls.  I start leanin' away from him.  Kaiba's a scary guy.  I'm glad I'm not the poor sucker on the phone.

Even more stuff.

Kaiba explodes.  "I DON'T CARE!" he yells into the receiver.  "HUNT DOWN AND KILL THAT DISGUSTING, BACKSTABBING EXCUSE FOR A HUMAN BEING!"

I almost fall off the desk.  Holy shit, did he hire a hitman!?  I mean, I knew he was one cold bastard, but hiring guys to kill people!?  And I don't mean bodyguards, either.

If Kaiba grips that receiver any harder, it's gonna break.  I can hear it cracking.  Strong hands.

"I."  Crunch.  "Don't."  Crunch.  "Care."  Crunch.  "What part of that don't you understand!?  I want him DEAD!"  Bits of plastic receiver casing land on the desk.  He'll need a new phone.

A beat.

"See that you do so.  Call me when you get him."  Kaiba slams what's left of the receiver down on its cradle, gets outta his chair, and starts putting all his stuff back in his briefcase.  His hands are shaking just a little.  He grabs his trench coat and puts it on.  "Come on, mutt, we're going home."  He looks pretty pissed.

I get off his desk.  Our conversation can wait.  Not long, but I've still got at least a few days left in me.  "Why?  What's wrong?"  And I'll let the 'mutt' thing slide for now.

He grabs his briefcase, opens the door and lets me out first.  Locks the door.  "Remember that ex-employee I told you about?"

The psycho bomber gunman who killed me?  "Yeah.  Kinda hard to forget something like that."  I try my best, though.  There's a huge stack of stuff I'm trying not to think about.  It's probably the same for Kaiba.  We leave the office and get into an elevator.

Kaiba jabs the button for the ground floor.  The doors close and he watches the floor number count down while I watch _him_.  Spill it, Kaiba.  "He's escaped from prison and is currently at large," he says flatly.

The crazy nutcase who tried to kill Seto Kaiba is on the loose.  And there's no way I can take the bullet for him this time.  One wrong move and Kaiba's dead.

...Well, what can I say to that?  Kaiba's already screamed it all out on the phone.  And without swearing, too.

I'm not that classy.  Everything I wanna say can be summed up in one neat little word.  "Fuck."

"Yes."  So we agree on something for once.

This is just _perfect_.  If today were any more _perfect_, the sun would blow up.

There's a limo waiting outside for us.  Kaiba checks it for explosives and tells me to keep an eye out for snipers.  The sad thing is he's not being paranoid.  We get in the limo once he's sure it's clean.

As we drive off, I ask him something.  "Is the mansion gonna be safe enough?"

He leans back into the leather seat and closes his eyes.  "It's a virtual fortress, Wheeler.  I would hope that'd be more than enough to keep out some trigger-happy nobody."

I hope so too, Kaiba.  I hope so, too.

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	14. Getting To Know You

**Summary:**  Tragedy strikes.  Joey Wheeler is gone forever.  Or is he?  Joey POV.  Post Duelist Kingdom AU.  Will eventually be Seto/Joey shounen-ai.

**Author's Notes:**  Well, I thought I'd try writing a YuGiOh fic.  And it's still going.  And going

Thanks for the reviews.  You all inspire me ^_^

Jou-pup:  That's right, the 'phone' in Chap13 was actually a strangely-shaped banana with a hard candy coating.  The 'squish' sound of the banana was edited out later.  Kaiba had to wash his hands after the scene.

Kaiba might be a bit more OOC in this one.  Well, think of it this way: He's had a whole string of miserable days and he's exhausted.  Top that off with shock after shock.  He's gone wacky.  Yeah.

I have some bad news, folks:  I won't be able to update again until Saturday at the earliest.  To sort of make up for it, this chapter is a bit longer than my usual.  Now I have to go study for a final exam :(

**Warnings:**  Character death (sort of), language, angst, eventual Seto/Joey.

**Disclaimers:**  I don't own YuGiOh or any other brand names you might come across.  No pants were harmed in the making of this fic.

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**Being Dead Ain't Easy**

**Chapter Fourteen:  Getting To Know You**

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The second we're through the front door, Mokuba rushes over and hugs his big brother like he's never letting go.  Kaiba drops his briefcase and kneels down so he can hug him back.  They're holdin' each other tight like me and my little sis used to do before the divorce.  Mokuba's trying not to cry, sniffling into that trench coat, and Kaiba's telling him how he's gonna kick that killer's ass 'cause nobody crosses a Kaiba.  It's a family thing, and I feel really awkward just standing there watching.

Kaiba looks at me and mouths, 'Wait in my room'.  I'm not gonna argue with him.  I nod and head up the stairs.  His little brother comes first, I get that.

After a bit of wandering, I find Kaiba's bedroom, sit on the bed, and wait for him.  He didn't make his bed this morning and the covers are falling off the bed.  What's left of his old alarm clock is gone and there's a new one sitting on the nightstand.  I'm guessin' he's gonna be awhile, so I stretch out on his bed and stare up at the ceiling.  The sun's almost completely set and it's too dark to really see, but I think it's creamy-white.  All in all, a pretty boring ceiling.

I guess Kaiba decided to have dinner first.  He's taking his sweet time.

A little over an hour later, I hear the door open and close.  About time.  "Be a good little doggy and get off my bed, Wheeler."

I pretend I don't hear him.  Let's see how much _you_ like it, Kaiba.

"Wheeler."  Kaiba growls.  He really looks like he needs to lie down, but... nah, I won't let him.

This is a real nice bed.

He glares at me, waiting for me to move.  Not gonna happen, pal.  Finally, he just gives me a little smirk, sits down by my side, and suddenly sprawls out on the bed right on top of me.  Through me.  Urk.  His eyes widen from the tingles- _he feels them?_ -but he ignores 'em and doesn't get off.

I... uh... make a small dignified sound of protest and scramble outta the way, but _not_ outta the bed.  I'm not gonna give him the satisfaction.  We fight over which side of the bed I get to lie on.  He's gotta be pretty tired, forgetting to be CEO Kaiba, messing around like this.  He's almost human.  Still a prick, but a human prick.  We end up on our backs, lyin' next to each other.  I'm still on his bed, so I can live with that.

Enough horsin' around.  "So how's the squirt?"

Kaiba's got his arm across his eyes.  He sighs.  Long day.  "Not good.  He's afraid that subhuman piece of trash will kill me."

I'm afraid of that, too.  That guy got awful close.  "That subhuman piece of trash got a name?"

"Thomas James Morrison.  It doesn't matter; his name will be wiped from the face of the earth by the time I'm through with him."

"What about all the other guys with the same name?"

"They'll have to get new names."

That's Kaiba for ya.  I wait for him to say some more stuff, but he's being quiet.  We just lie there side by side in the dark.

I get sick of listening to Kaiba breathe.  "We gonna talk now?"

He doesn't say anything for a while.  "I suppose so, Wheeler.  I was hoping to put this off for a while longer, but since I could be dead tomorrow, we might as well get this over with now."

He's bein' awful nice to me.  I guess he missed me a lot.  I'll hafta be nice to him back.  I sigh.  "Jeez, Kaiba, you don't die so easy.  Quit it with the 'I'm gonna die' attitude.  You'll scare Mokuba."

He grunts.

Let's get this ball rolling.  "So how long've you been seeing me?"

"Too long."

"Kaiba..." I growl.

Another sigh.  "Ever since you died, Wheeler."

That's not right.  It _can't_ be right.  "I wasn't anywhere near ya, Moneybags."  If I remember right, I was starin' at a swirly white light at the time.

Kaiba chuckles.  "I said that I saw you, not that you were actually there."

Now I'm confused.  "Eh?"

"Every night in my dreams, I saw you.  Everywhere I looked, I saw you.  At home, at school, at work... I saw you," he says softly.  I turn my head to face him, but we're still lyin' on our backs, so I can't see his face too clearly.  

"Shit, Kaiba..."

"You never left me alone."

"Kaiba..."

"I knew it was all in my head, so I ignored you.  Mokuba and Yuugi were the only ones who even suspected anything was wrong."

He's worse off than I thought.  "I hate to say this, but you need professional help, Kaiba."

"And have it broadcast on the evening news?" he snorts.  "My enemies are wolves, Wheeler.  Having a little brother is almost more weakness than I can afford.  If they had any idea of my... minor problem, my brother would fall soon after I did."

"But-"

"But nothing.  It doesn't matter."

And in Kaiba's world, what he says, goes.  "So how do you know I'm really here?"

"Simple.  You touched me.  It was... unexpected."

Yeah, _unexpected_.  That's not the word I'd use.

"So what happened in the bathroom?"  I've been wonderin' about that.

"I assume you really were the one who wrote that tacky message?"

"...Yeah."

"I overreacted, but then I realized that my hallucination of you couldn't have done such a thing, so I blamed Yuugi."

"Wait...  You saw me in the bathroom?"

"A hallucination."  He narrows his eyes at me.  "That screamed like a girl.  You wouldn't be so obscene as to stand there and watch me shower, would you?"

I shouldn't have brought it up.  "'Course not!  I wrote my thing and left."  Better change the subject.  "And how long've you been hearing me?"

He's still lookin' at me funny, but he answers my question.  "Since that night we talked by your grave."

I glare at him.  "Why didn't cha say you could!?"

He glares right back.  I feel mine go sorta wobbly and I blink first.  "Because, _chihuahua_, I thought I was imagining things!  If the imaginary people in your head started talking to you, what would _you_ do!?"

Ignore 'em and hope they go away.  Okay, I get it.  "Pull a 'Yuugi' and say hello, of course," I tell Kaiba.  "And stop it with the doggy insults."

"I'll keep that in mind, puppy-boy."  He closes his eyes and half-smiles.  "Not that it matters.  You'll probably pester me more than any hallucination for the rest of my life, won't you."

"No I won't."  I wish I could.

He turns his head to face me and lifts an eyebrow.  "The dumb mutt actually has something better to do?  Do tell."

I grit my teeth.  _Let the 'mutt' thing go, Joey, let it go_.  "Since you asked, I guess I will."  But I don't wanna.

"I'm waiting."

I close my eyes.  I don't like dumpin' my problems on people.  They're _my_ problems, so _I'll_ deal with 'em.  But if he wants to know...  "This ain't gonna last, Kaiba."

Kaiba turns over on his side so he can see me better.  "What won't last?"

I'm still on my back.  Don't wanna look at him.  "Me.  Once I disappear, I'm gone for good.  I won't be around for ya to insult anymore.  I'm gonna die twice."

He suddenly sounds all serious.  "Tell me."

Yes, sir.  "Yami said I'm a lost soul.  I can't go anywhere 'cause I messed up the 'movin' on' bit and turned into a ghost.  When ghosts run outta juice, they go up like a puff o' smoke.  Game Over.  Deader than dead."  Still not lookin' at him.

"Is that so."

"Yeah.  So don't worry, I won't be botherin' you for long."

"Look at me, Joey," he orders.

Gah, I'm too worn out to argue with the guy.  I move so I'm lyin' on my side and facing him.  "What?"

He's frowning.  "Do you really think I hate you so much that I'd want you worse than dead?"

"I'll give ya some credit and say 'no'."

"How generous of you."

"I'm a generous kinda guy."

Kaiba seems to be mulling something over in his head.  He comes to a decision.  "Let me show you something."  He sits up, climbs outta bed, and goes over to his dresser without turnin' on the light.  He opens up the bottom drawer and pulls something out without looking, like he's done it a million times before.  He comes back to the bed and sits down with the whatever it is in his lap.

I sit up.  "What's that?"

He strokes the fabric of the thing.  It looks like some kinda shirt or coat.  "After you died, nobody saw fit to give me some memento of you.  That's understandable; I was your hated enemy.  Why would I want something to remember you by?"

"You tell me.  What've you got?"  I hope he didn't break into my apartment and steal my laundry or something.

"See for yourself."  He unfolds the piece of clothing and lays it out between us.

I run my eyes over it.  It's a ratty looking trench coat with the ends burnt off.  "I don't wear trench coats, Kaiba.  That's not mine."

Kaiba sighs and turns on the table lamp by the bed so I can see.

Now that the light's on, I can tell that it used to be a deep blue.  It's been washed, but I can still see the rusty brown stains all over it.

Oh man, that can't be what I think it is.  "It's...  That's..."

Kaiba gathers up the coat and hugs it against his chest.  He looks at me.  "Finish your sentences, Wheeler.  Say what you want and be done with it."

"Tell me that's not the coat you were wearing when I got shot."

Kaiba rolls his eyes.  "No, people die on me all the time and I have a wardrobe full of bloody clothes," he says sarcastically.  "Of _course_ this is the coat I was wearing when you bled to death in my arms, you stupid dog!"  He holds it closer, still watching me.  "For a long time, this was all I had left of you."

And he's huggin' it like a teddy bear.  Eww.  Kinda sweet, but eeewww.  "That's real sick, Kaiba.  Chuck it."

He lifts an eyebrow.  "Why should I?"

"It's gross!"  I can't believe he kept the coat I died on!  Still, it coulda been worse, I guess.  At least he didn't dig me up.  I hope.  "Ya don't have any more little 'reminders', do ya?"

"Other than the corpse in the fridge, no."

Oh my god, I'm gonna be sick.

Kaiba takes one look at me... and laughs long and hard into his bloodstained trench coat Joey memento.  It's stress, so I won't kill him right this second.

I hate this guy.  "IT'S NOT FUNNY!"

After a few minutes, he finally gets himself under control.  "The look on your face is _priceless!_" he chuckles.  Bastard.  "I don't like you _that_ much, Wheeler."

"You've got one sick sense o' humour, funny guy."

He just smirks at me.  "Be that as it may, puppy-boy, I did actually find something a bit more appropriate than _this_," he says, holdin' up the coat.

"You're not gonna crack another 'joke', are ya?"

"I'm serious."  Kaiba fishes around in his pants pocket and pulls out a card.  "I trust this is familiar?"

My Red Eyes Black Dragon.  I narrow my eyes.  "How didja get that?"

"Mmmm...  Yuugi really should take better care of your deck, don't you think?  Dropping all those cards and expecting people to just give them back after picking them up is putting too much faith in human nature."  Smirk.

You.  Stinkin'.  Kaiba.  "GIVE THAT BACK TO YUUGI, YA JERK!"  I leap off the bed and try to grab it.

He gets up too, waving the card over my head and laughin' at me 'cause he's taller.  "I don't think so.  And how are you going to make me?"  Shoot, I _can't _grab the card; I'm a ghost and I can't waste that kinda power.

"I'll...  I'll..."  Ah HAH!  "I'll tell Yami!"

"Oh yes, our resident ghost expert.  The 'dead Egyptian dude'", he mocks.  "One of your fellow spirits."  Kaiba frowns and sticks the card back in his pants where I can't get it.  Well, I could try, but it'd look kinda weird.  "Why does he still exist, anyway?  I thought you said all ghosts 'die' after a period of time."

I guess we're done 'playing'.  I sit back down on the bed.  "He's got the Puzzle to stay in and he says you can't share Items."

Kaiba sits down next to me.  "Then get yourself a puzzle or equivalent.  Maybe an eye or something," he suggests.

He's taking the ghost and magic stuff pretty well.  "You're pretty matter-o'-fact 'bout this stuff."

"Pegasus.  I experienced his magic first-hand," he says flatly.

"Oh, yeah."  Forgot about that.  "And no, I can't get myself a Millennium Item.  Nobody knows how to make 'em anymore."

"I would think that an ancient Egyptian spirit that already had one would know how."

"I thought so too, but that guy's memory is swiss cheese.  There's stuff in there, but not much.  He can't remember."

"That's rather... inconvenient."  Kaiba gets up and starts to pace.  "Unfortunately, there aren't any other Egyptian spirits around that can help you."

I slap my forehead.  "I'm an idiot," I moan.

"I always thought so, too."

I can't believe I didn't think of this earlier!  I shoot off the bed.  "No, I mean I'm an _idiot!_  Yami Yuugi's not the only one!"

Kaiba smirks at me.  "Oh?  I'm glad we agree."

"That's not what I mean!"  I'm a big, time-wastin' idiot.  Stop.  Think.  "Bakura.  He's got the Millennium Ring.  With a spirit in it.  An old Egyptian one."

Kaiba blinks.  "That solves that, then."

I can't believe it was that easy.  I'm kinda shocked.  "I guess I'll go say hi to Bakura."

"Yes, you better go do that."  He stares at me.  I stare at him.  He lifts an eyebrow.

What am I just standin' around like an idiot for!?  I head for the door.  "'Comin'?"

Kaiba thinks about it, but shakes his head.  "No.  I shouldn't leave the mansion until that bastard is caught."

Psycho gunman.  Right.  "Good idea.  Stay put, Kaiba."  I pause before I reach the door.  "And thanks.  For helpin' me out."

He nods.  "Tell me how it goes."  He's feeling nice enough to open the door for me.  What a gentleman... NOT!  But it's a nice change from having to walk through 'em.

"Sure thing.  And Kaiba?"

"What?"

I flash him a nasty smile.  "I'm _still_ gonna haunt your ass."

Kaiba's lips twitch, but he lets me have the last word, for once.  I walk out into the dark hallway, and when I'm five steps away, he says something.

"See you later... _chihuahua_."  I turn fast enough to see the smirk on his face, the light from the lamp showing through the gap between the doorframe and his body.  Then he closes the door.

Is it any wonder I hate him?

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	15. Talkin' to An Egyptian

**Summary:**  Tragedy strikes.  Joey Wheeler is gone forever.  Or is he?  Joey POV.  Post Duelist Kingdom AU.  Will eventually be Seto/Joey shounen-ai.

**Author's Notes:**  Well, I thought I'd try writing a YuGiOh fic.  And it's still going.  And going

Over 200 reviews!  *eyes bug out and fall on the floor*.  Grape juice for everyone!  In other words, thanks ^_^

Llyxius:  Fixed 'momento' in Chap14.  Found some other stuff and fixed those, too.

Maladyrancor:  Don't worry, Joey won't "just disappear"!

I don't think I'll ever be able to top Chap14.  I quite like how it turned out and that's really saying something, considering how I can never stand my own writing after a few days.  I'm weird that way :P

Exam is over and done with.  Bleh.  May everyone's good wishes magically make my answers right.

**Warnings:**  Character death (sort of), language, angst, eventual Seto/Joey.

**Disclaimers:**  I don't own YuGiOh or any other brand names you might come across.  No brick walls with 'YUGI' spray-painted on them were harmed in the making of this fic.

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**Being Dead Ain't Easy**

**Chapter Fifteen:  Talkin' to An Egyptian**

**************************************************************************

I walk past Mokuba on my way out.  The little guy should be asleep, but he's hidin' around the corner near Kaiba's bedroom with this funny look on his face.  I guess he heard Kaiba talking to me.  'Course, it probably sounded like Kaiba was talking to himself.  Poor Mokuba, his big bro's getting crazier every day.  Heh.  I'll let Kaiba deal with this little problem.  I've got other stuff to worry about.

Stuff like Bakura.

'I guess I'll go say hi to Bakura'.  Yeah, _right_.  I didn't want Kaiba to worry about it, but no way is it gonna be that easy!  The other Bakura is bad news.  Trouble with a capital T.  He's nothing like Yami Yuugi.  I mean, he goes around turning people into cards, for cryin' out loud!  I don't even wanna _think_ about all the other bad stuff he's done.  I gotta be careful or he's gonna make me worse than I already am.  Maybe goin' in there with a plan might be a good idea, so I bang out two of 'em.  They're not great, but with a little luck...

I hitch hike to the apartment building Ryou Bakura lives in and float up to his place.  I've only been here once or twice, but I still remember the room number.  It's tiny compared to Kaiba's mansion, but then again, _any_ place is tiny compared to Seto Kaiba's.  Everything's so cramped in here!  Or maybe I'm just getting spoiled.

The lights are off.  No surprise there; it was, what, 10PM when I left home?  So it's probably around 11 now.  Pretty bad time to visit, but it's so easy to lose track of time, ya know?  Well, since I'm here anyway, I might as well see if he's awake.  Nobody goes to bed before midnight, right?

I make my way to Bakura's bedroom and walk up to his bed.

Yeah, he's asleep, the little goody-goody, still wearing that Ring of his.  I'm surprised that thing doesn't snag on something and choke him in his sleep.  And here's another problem with my 'say hi to Bakura' plan: he can't help me if he's sleeping.  Bummer.  Maybe I should try to wake him up.

I lean down and speak nice and loud in his ear.  "Yo, Bakura!  Sorry for botherin' ya, but could ya maybe, just maybe, get up an' help me out?"

No answer.

So much for that.  Well, it's my own damn fault, visiting in the middle of the night.  Still, I don't feel too bad about it 'cause Kaiba didn't think Bakura'd be asleep, either.  I guess I'll go tell him the bad news, work out a better plan.  I turn around to leave-

-and somebody wraps an arm around my neck and squeezes.  If I was breathing, I wouldn't be anymore.  "If it isn't the little pharaoh's dead pet," the guy growls in my ear.

I slam an elbow into the jerk's gut so hard he grunts and lets go.  I spin around.

It's Bakura - no it's not, Bakura's still sleeping.  It's the other guy.  Dead Egyptian Number Two.  Just the man I was looking for.

He kicks me in the kneecap and my leg goes out from under me.  I grab a handful of silver hair and bring him down with me so we both end up on the floor.  So spirits can touch each other.  Trust me, that sucks big time.  He punches me in the head and tries to bite me.  Man, Yami Bakura fights dirty.  I grab his ring and choke him with the necklace part.  Too bad dead guys don't choke.

What is it with all these dead guys beating me up the moment they see me, anyways!?

I manage to kick him off of me and I'm about to follow up when suddenly I get super dizzy and just fall flat on my face.  He kicks me in the gut while I'm down.  Bastard.

Kicks me again.  This ain't helping my dizzy spell.  "Stoppit already!  Didn't come 'ere to fight," I gasp out.  Room's spinning.  One Bakura, two Bakura, three Bakura, wow, _four_ Bakura...

I guess you can say I'm not feeling too good.

"Yes, you came here for my help, did you not?" he smirks.  If I could only get up, I'd wipe that smirk right off your face, Bakura.

"Yeah, I did."  I get up on my hands and knees, shake my head to clear it up.  Not helping, and I bet I look pathetic to boot.  "What didja attack me for!?"

"I don't appreciate having pests hovering over my host while he sleeps.  And why would I help you, doomed man?" he sneers.

I like the nice Bakura better, but it looks like this one knows all about ghosts and stuff.    I finally manage to get on my feet.  Everything's still a little wobbly, but I manage.  Let's give Plan A a try.  "Come on, just help out a fellow spirit, Yami Bakura.  Can I call ya 'Yami Bakura'?" I give him my best smile.

He snorts.  "That's not my name, but it will serve, for now."

"Great."  Turn on the Wheeler charm.  "Yami says I'm gonna fade away.  I need some guy to make me a Millennium Item or something so I don't, but he can't.  So help me out here."

"Let me think."  He mulls it over while I stand there.  "No, I don't think I will, you fool!"  He laughs in my face.  Pure evil, that guy.

"Would it help if I said please?"  It's worth a shot.

"Go to that pharaoh of yours and grovel at his feet.  Perhaps that will jog his memory," he sneers.  "Your fate is no concern of mine, boy."

So much for Plan A.  But what you just said falls nicely into Plan B, Yami Bakura.  I gotta play this just right, though.

I hang my head like I'm giving up.   "Yeah, I had a feeling ya wouldn't be able to help me out."

Yami Bakura crosses his arms.  "And you were right."

I stick my hands in my pockets.  I'm still wearing my school uniform, ya know.  Aw man, I'm gonna be stuck in it forever, aren't I.  "I mean, I dunno what I was expectin' from ya."

Snort.  "You are clearly even stupider than you look."

I just nod and play 'dumb mutt'.  I hope Kaiba never finds out.  "Duh, I gotta be.  Like, if Yami Yuugi couldn't help me, there's no way _you_ could."

He's starting to look pissed.  He's fingering his Ring.

Careful, careful.  "I mean, no offence, bud," I say quickly, "but if even _he_ can't remember how to save me, there's NO WAY you can."  I widen my eyes, put a little awe in my voice.  "I mean, this is _Yami Yuugi_ we're talkin' 'bout, here!  You called him a pharaoh, right?"  Yami Bakura gives a jerky nod.  "If _he_ can't do it, no one can.  He's the Pharaoh!"

He narrows his eyes.  "I didn't say I couldn't help, only that I choose not to."  He's clenching his fists.  He hates Yami Yuugi.

Just a little more...  I start walkin' away, head down, hands still in pockets.  Kicked puppy look.  Learned it from Yuugi.  Whatever works.  "Nah, it's okay, ya don't hafta fake it.  Your memory's worse than his, I totally get that."  Here goes nothing.  "Nobody's better than _the Pharaoh_... right?"

Yami Bakura looks like he's boilin' over.  "The Pharaoh is _nothing_ compared to me!" he spits.

Got him.  "You're kiddin' me."  I try to look innocent, settle for 'not lookin' guilty'.  If he thinks I'm trying to trick him...

He buys it.  "This 'Yami Yuugi' may be a formidable duelist, foolish boy, but he knows nothing.  Absolutely NOTHING!" snarls the spirit.

"I dunno..."  I put on a 'Yami Yuugi's not god?  Say it ain't so!' face.

Yami Bakura's about to say something, but sleeping Bakura moves a little, waking up.  Me and Yami Bakura are making quite a racket, after all.  Can't believe I totally forgot about the sleeping guy.

The spirit of the Millennium Ring glares down at him, the Ring flashes, and the nice Bakura stops moving.  I hope he's okay.

"Now where was I?  Ah yes."  Yami Bakura gives me the creepiest smile I've ever seen.  "Do you truly think so highly of that little pharaoh?  That self-righteous midget?" he sneers.  "Bah!  _I _shall tell you what your worthless pharaoh cannot."

Bingo.  Joey Wheeler, you're the _man_.

******************************************************************************


	16. This For That

**Summary:**  Tragedy strikes.  Joey Wheeler is gone forever.  Or is he?  Joey POV.  Post Duelist Kingdom AU.  Will eventually be Seto/Joey shounen-ai.

**Author's Notes:**  Well, I thought I'd try writing a YuGiOh fic.  And it's still going.  And going.  And whoa, still going.

I can't believe this fic is getting so many reviews o_O.  Thanks for continuing to read!

Angel-Belle:  Yes, go ahead and use that line ^_^

**Warnings:**  Character death (sort of), language, angst, eventual Seto/Joey.

**Disclaimers:**  I don't own YuGiOh or any other brand names you might come across.  No sleeping teenagers were harmed in the making of this fic.

**************************************************************************

**Being Dead Ain't Easy**

**Chapter Sixteen:  This For That**

**************************************************************************

We go over to the living room and let Bakura sleep.  There's only one place to sit - like I said, the apartment's _tiny_ - and Yami Bakura takes it.  I end up leanin' against the wall across from the sofa he's sprawled out on.

I can't shake the nasty feeling that this is _way_ too easy.  He's gonna help me, just like that.  Yami 'Evil' Bakura's gonna help me.

He drums his fingers on the armrest, looking bored.  "So what exactly do you want to know?"

Man, where do I even start?  "Yami Yuugi says I need a Millennium Item to 'anchor' my soul.  No anchor, no stayin' around.  But he says nobody knows how to make 'em anymore."

He sighs and treats me like a moron.  "I'll ask you again:  What.  Do.  You.  Want.  To.  Know?"

I narrow my eyes.  I don't like this guy's attitude, but I'm not gonna start anything.  "I guess what I wanna know is how to make a Millennium _something_."

Snort.  "A 'Millennium something' indeed."  He leans forward, getting down to business.  "It would help if you told me how, exactly, you came to be as you are now."

Easy enough.  "I think everything was goin' okay until I... uh, tripped on somethin'.  I heard Kaiba an' I looked down.  Then I sorta fell on my funeral."

He frowns.  "You... tripped?  That's all?"

"Yeah."

"Merely tripping on something wouldn't be enough to disrupt the journey to the next plane.  Stopping a soul from moving on takes effort."  He taps his chin, thinking.  "Unless..."  He stops tapping.  Smiles.  He came up with something, I just know it.  "...I see.  How very... _interesting_."

Care to share, Bakura?  "What's interesting?"

Yami Bakura just smirks at me.  He goes off and talks about something else.  "Hmmm.  As much as it pains me to do so, I must say the Pharaoh is right.  The knowledge to make the Millennium Items was possessed only by him and his priests.  Unfortunately, he seems to have gone senile, and the priests..."  Yami Bakura shakes his head.  "The priests remember even less.  It's quite sad, really."

What, are there Egyptian priests runnin' around?  Whatever, can't get sidetracked now.  "But _you_ still have your memories!"

"It makes no difference, you fool!"

The guy's no priest.  "So what you're sayin' is...  you don't know."

He shakes his head.  "I know roughly how it was done, but that knowledge isn't enough."

I close my eyes and slump against the wall.  "Well, that's just... great."  Jumping with joy, here.

He tries to smile all friendly-like.  Doesn't work.  He's enjoying this.  "My sincerest apologies, but even if I were the Pharaoh himself, I would not be able to make any Millennium Item."

Might as well ask.  "Why not?  Not that it matters."

"It's quite simple, really."  Smirk.  Is it just me, or is this guy gettin' a thrill outta crushing my hopes?  "The seven Items were created with the energies of six powerful priests and their oh so great Pharaoh.  It took all of their combined shadow powers to do such a thing, and they sealed the gates to the Shadow Realm with each Item.  Such power."  Yami Bakura stares off into the past.  "I remember the sky turning so black I could not even see the stars.  For what seemed like ages, all was darkness.  It was quite a feat."

"Yeah, I can imagine."  And they didn't have flashlights back then, either.

He snaps back to the here and now.  "But now, _now_..."  He clenches a fist.  "The shadow powers are so weak now they are good for little more than _parlor tricks!_" he snarls.  "There is no way to make a Millennium Item in this age.  All that power, _sealed away!"_

Amazing what they don't teach you in school, huh?  I know _I'd_ pay more attention in class if they talked about shadow powers and Millennium Items.  Still, this ain't helping me at all.  "Yeah, whadda shame, thanks for the history lesson.  Am I just wasting my time with you or what?"

He relaxes, all done with his rant.  "Not exactly.  Your Pharaoh is correct in one sense, but utterly wrong in every other."

Okay, so if he's right about the Items, what's he wrong about?  "Eh?  What'd he miss on?"

"Really, one doesn't need to seal a spirit in a Millennium Item.  Any object will do."  He _smiles_ at me.  Personally, I wish he hadn't.  It's damn scary lookin'.  "Why, I myself have sealed countless others in such things as game pieces and playing cards."

I just bet cha have, you creep.  I'd make ya pay for it, but I still need your help.  "That's not quite what I'm aiming for.  I sorta wanna be able to come back out, too."

"Oh?  You do?"  He pretends to be surprised.  "I could permanently seal you into the sofa, if you'd like.  It'd be so much easier."

He's toying with me!  "Don't play dumb, Bakura!" I snarl.  "_Of course_ I wanna be able to come back out!"

"Ah.  That... complicates matters."

So can he or can't he!?  I don't have all the time in the world, here!  "How hard can it be!?"

"Well now, it's not _hard_, exactly.  It's just that it would take _so_ much effort on my part that I really don't see why I should be bothered to go through the trouble."

"You said you'd help me!" I growl.

He waggles a finger.  "I said I'd tell you what the Pharaoh could not.  I have now done so."

"But-!"  I can't _believe_ this guy!

"And your rather obvious attempts to trick me into helping you were quite amusing.  I applaud your efforts."  He gives me three slow claps.  "As my host would say, 'Jolly good show'."

I didn't fool anybody.  And my ego's taking a bruising.  "So ya got a good laugh outta me.  Now what, you gonna turn me away?"  This was all a big fat waste o' time.

"I didn't say that."  He's lookin' at me like he... he _wants_ something.  I don't like it.  "If you make it worth my time, I would be more than happy to help you with your little problem."

There's not much I can do to make it worth his time.  He's still smilin' at me.  It looks plain _wrong_ on Bakura's face.  I swallow.  "Whaddaya want?"

"It's a small thing, really."

If it was a small thing, he wouldn't be smiling like that.  "Spit it out, already."

"Since you ask so nicely..." He drapes an arm over the back of the sofa, nice and casual.  "I have always been a... collector of sorts.  A collector of rare and ancient treasures.  Treasures like the Millennium Ring."

"You mean you're a lowlife thief."  I'm getting sick of this.  "What's your point?"

"I prefer the term 'treasure hunter,' myself."  He strokes his Ring.  "I'd like to add little Yuugi's Millennium Puzzle to my collection."

"Yeah?"  I don't like this.

"Yes.  It would be quite helpful to me if you could use your phantom powers to visit Yuugi Mutou and tell me when he's sleeping, or when his guardian is otherwise occupied."  He gets a glint in his eye.  "He would be vulnerable, and his Puzzle there for the taking."

Uh huh.  "Yuugi's my friend, you asshole."

He acts like he doesn't hear.  "I assure you, he will never know you betrayed him.  He will never see me coming, and once the host is disposed of, our dear pharaoh will not be able to retaliate, either."

I'm dead, I'm desperate, but NO WAY am I helping Yami Bakura.  Not like this.  _Never_ like this.  "No deal, Yami Bakura," I spit.

He sneers.  "Foolish boy!  This is the preservation of your _soul_ we are negotiating for!  Is it truly worth so little to you?"

"No.  Yuugi's just worth _that_ much more to me."  And that's that.  I'm not even gonna waste my time heading for the door.  A little concentration, and I'm sinking through the floor.  Can't get outta here quick enough.

I hear him say, "Think about it, boy," before my head leaves the room.

I don't think so, Yami Bakura.

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	17. What You Don't Say

**Summary:**  Tragedy strikes.  Joey Wheeler is gone forever.  Or is he?  Joey POV.  Post Duelist Kingdom AU.  Will eventually be Seto/Joey shounen-ai.

**Author's Notes:**  Well, I thought I'd try writing a YuGiOh fic.  And it's still going.  And going.  And whoa, still going.

Thanks for all the reviews!  I hope I can make this story worth the time you guys put in to read it ^_^

JKJ:  Tristan will get a paragraph or two eventually, I think…

Kurai chan:  Nope, no Shadi or Isis in this story!  That's okay, Joey doesn't need them.

Llyxius:  Yes, writing every day can be done… but next time I'll wait until all my exams are over before starting :P  It's easier to put the story together if I write a chunk of it as often as I can.  Otherwise, I forget what I did several chapters ago…

man-o-man:  Actually, I don't think the story's going to quite end up that way.  However, it's an interesting idea...  Go write it!  I wouldn't mind reading something like that ^_^

YAMIGIRL:  What's a 'yahn himir'?  And would he punch you for calling him that?

**Warnings:**  Character death (sort of), language, angst, eventual Seto/Joey.

**Disclaimers:**  I don't own YuGiOh or any other brand names you might come across.  No flying pigs were harmed in the making of this fic.

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**Being Dead Ain't Easy**

**Chapter Seventeen:  What You Don't Say**

**************************************************************************

I walk through Kaiba's bedroom door, totally beat.  He's sittin' at his computer, typing away.  He takes a sip of some black gunk in the cup on his desk.  It's either coffee or motor oil.  He makes a face and almost spits it out, but ends up swallowing it anyway.  I'm guessing motor oil.

"Hey, Kaiba."

He swivels around in his chair.  "Hey, dog-boy," he says coolly.  There's great big purple bags under his eyes.  Kaiba looks like shit, and I'm not just saying that.  I check the clock:  2:55AM.  I took my time coming back.  Did he stay up waiting for me?  He drinks some more motor oil.

"Go to sleep, ya freak.  It's almost 3AM."

"And miss your undoubtedly riveting tale of ancient dead Egyptians and lost forbidden magic? I think not."  He swallows another mouthful of crud.  "The anticipation is killing me.  I fear my heart may burst."

Har dee har har.  "Can the sarcasm, Kaiba.  I'm not in the mood."

He puts the cup down.  "So what happened?"

I belly-flop on the bed and flip over on my back.  "We talked.  He knows how to help me, but we didn't see eye to eye, so I left."  I close my eyes.  "We're back to square one."

Kaiba narrows his eyes.  "What do you mean, 'we didn't see eye to eye'?"

Can't a ghost get some shuteye?  "His price was way too high.  He wanted..."  Wait, I better not tell Kaiba; he doesn't like Yuugi.  There's no telling what he'll do.  "Doesn't matter what he wanted.  I said no.  End of story."

"Huh."  Kaiba looks at me.  "What can an Egyptian spirit possibly want?"

"Ya don't need to know."  Oh great, that was the wrong thing to say.  Now he's gonna be wondering.

"If it's money, I'll consider lending you some."

"It's not money.  Drop it."

"No, it wouldn't be money.  What would a dead Egyptian want with money?" he agrees.  He starts trying to work it out for himself.  "Power, perhaps?  Prestige?  Or something that would give him these things..."  Kaiba's too freaking smart for his own good.  "Something like-"

"I SAID DROP IT!"

Kaiba looks shocked.  Well, as shocked as he ever looks.  "What's your problem, Wheeler?  If you don't want my help, just say so."

I didn't hurt Kaiba's feelings.  He's fine.  He's...  I run a hand through my hair.  "Aw man, Kaiba, I didn't mean it like that.  I'm just... tired, okay?"  And it's true.  But lying down is doing some good.

Kaiba gets off his chair and walks over here.  He checks me out slowly, remembering every little detail.  I feel like I'm for sale.  "Now that you mention it, you do look... less than your best."  He comes even closer and stands by the side of the bed.  "In fact, you look worse than you did before you left."  He scowls at me.  "What did you do, you stupid mutt?"

I look worse?  I sit up and hold my hands up to my face.  Looks the same to me.  "How'd I look before?"

"Real.  Solid."  He grabs my hand and gets up close and personal with it.  "But now, I can see through you."

He's right.

I didn't notice before, I didn't _want_ to notice, but yeah, I can see his hand through mine.  That's just _wrong_.  I mean, I know I'm dead, but I'm not _dead_ dead, 'cause I'm still here, ya know?  The thing is, I don't feel dead.  I don't know what it's supposed to feel like, but this can't be it.  It can't be.  I can't be fading already!  It's only been, what, two, maybe three weeks...!

_-most ghosts don't last for more than a month, at most!  _

"I'm just tired.  Means nothing."

He narrows his eyes.  "Like _hell_ it means nothing."  He's getting angry.

"It's totally normal.  Nothing to worry about, Kaiba."  I'm not convincing him.  Or me.

"You were fine when you left!"  He's still holding my hand.

"So maybe I overdid it a little!"

"Overdid it a little?  _Overdid_ it a little?  WHAT _HAPPENED_, JOEY WHEELER!?" he yells at me.  He's squeezing my hand way too hard.  It's gonna end up like the phone in his office.

I yank it back.  "NOTHING!  I HAD A FIGHT WITH BAKURA, OKAY!?" I yell back.

"No, it's not okay!" Kaiba looks... he looks...  I don't even know the word.  "He did this to you."

"I did it to myself!"  And if I get in a fight with Kaiba, I'm gonna make it worse.  "I tired myself out, got dizzy, that's all.  I just need to... lay down for a while."

"And does this happen every time you overexert yourself?"

"...Maybe."  Only happened about twice so far.

He turns his back to me.  "I should have gone with you, criminal on the loose or not," he says after a beat.

I don't get him.  I really don't.  He insults me, he beats me up, and now he's saying he's worried about me.  He says he sees me everywhere he goes.  "Why do you care, Kaiba?  Why do you care?"

"We went over this already, Wheeler."

"So say it again."

He whirls around.  "I don't hate you enough to let you die this way, you dumb dog!  Is that so hard to understand?"  he snarls at me.  "Is that so very hard to understand?" He gets on the bed himself and moves up until he's right in my face.  "Do I need to use smaller words?" he says in that quiet lethal way of his.

You don't know fear until you've got a rabid Kaiba six inches from your face, so close you can feel his breath.  "Yeah, sure, use smaller words!"  I say.  Pretty bravely, too.  "I'm just a dumb mutt, after all."

"Yes, you are.  Very well, then.  Let me put it this way."  Kaiba suddenly grabs me and gets even closer.  He's got a death grip on my shoulders.  I wince.  It _hurts_.  His nails are sinking into me through my jacket.  "I.  Don't.  Want.  You.  Dead." he hisses.  He looks real angry, but his blue eyes, kinda red from no sleep, are filled with some emotion I can't read.  He's so hard to get, and I don't think he even does it on purpose.  I'm scared to death.  I don't know if he wants to tear my throat out or what.  He's staring right back at me.  What does he see in my eyes?  I just don't know.  He's way too close.  If he moves any closer he'll kiss me by accident.

And then he lets me go.

I sorta fall back stunned on the bed.  I can still feel his claws in my shoulders.  It's like I was just mauled by a wild animal.

He goes back to his computer and starts working.

Two questions spring to mind.  Question one:  What the _hell_ was that!?  I'm not gonna ask 'cause it might set him off again, but... _damn_.  Maybe it was the coffee.

Question two:  How come Kaiba can touch me?  He's not a ghost.  Unless there's something he's not telling me.

Good questions, _great_ questions... that I can't ask right now.  I'm even more tired now than I was before.  Another scene like that and I might be in some serious trouble.

The minutes tick by.  Tick.  Tick.  Tick.  It's in my head.  The clock's digital.

I can't stand it anymore.  "What cha doin' now, Kaiba?"

"Work.  Kaiba Corp. is... not doing as well as I'd like."  Tappity tap.  Gulp from the cup.  What crazy attack on the bed?  "I'm also running a search on every single conceivable way to keep you alive."

A bit too late for that, Kaiba.  "I'm already dead, rich boy."

I get the feeling he's rolling his eyes.  "Whatever, Wheeler.  I'm trying to find a way to keep you from getting any worse, then."

"It's four freakin' thirty in the morning!  Go to bed already!"  Wait, I take that back.  I'm not sleeping with him.  Well, I won't actually be sleeping, but still...

"No point.  I won't be able to sleep.  Just lie there and try not to get any deader, alright?"

"Okay, ya bossy freak, but when I'm feelin' better, you'll be so sorry you ever messed with me."

"Good doggy.  Now shut up and rest."

So I just close my eyes and lie there in Kaiba's bed, listening as he types his fingers off, listening as he works 'til morning.

**************************************************************************


	18. Happy Little Family

**Summary:**  Tragedy strikes.  Joey Wheeler is gone forever.  Or is he?  Joey POV.  Post Duelist Kingdom AU.  Will eventually be Seto/Joey shounen-ai.

**Author's Notes:**  Well, I thought I'd try writing a YuGiOh fic.  And it's still going.  And going.  And whoa, still going.

*blink blink*  300 reviews...  *drops dead*

D. Draggy's ghost would like to say thank you, every single one of you!  *hands over grapes*  Have some wine.  Some assembly required ^_^

"Save Joey's Soul" is a line from the reviewer Angel-Belle.  I didn't come up with it!

Difinity:  I love FF7!  It also holds a special place in my heart because that's the first time I encountered fanfiction.

JKJ:  I don't think I'll kill Tristan.  It'll mess up his (minor) part if he's dead, and besides, one dead guy's probably enough.  It'll take attention away from Joey!

Llyxius:  Yup, the mansion's home now!  Good luck with the writing ^_^

Silver and Yami Sakura:  The story will hopefully pick up soon…

**Warnings:**  Character death (sort of), language, angst, eventual Seto/Joey.

**Disclaimers:**  I don't own YuGiOh or any other brand names you might come across.  No parts of a complete breakfast were harmed in the making of this fic.

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**Being Dead Ain't Easy**

**Chapter Eighteen:  Happy Little Family**

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We spend a bunch of days like that, me just lyin' around doing nothing while Kaiba runs around like a crazy man researching here, looking stuff up there, and calling me names whenever he has to take a break.  He takes two-hour naps sometimes whenever he passes out at his desk.  He's not leaving the mansion at all, "because that murdering swine is still on the loose, _chihuahua_.  Helping you is simply a way to pass the time."  That'd be more convincing if he didn't keep telling me again and again how he doesn't want me to go.  He throws a fit whenever I try to go outside.  Or walk.  Or do anything, really.  He's really, really worried.  And totally messed up.

Mokuba's staying home too.  The psycho gunman doesn't care which Kaiba he blows away.  It's not too bad 'cause the kid's friends come by and drop off his homework.

It's kinda good that the little guy's here.  He's a smart kid.  Kaiba's letting him help with the "Save Joey's Soul" project.  There's books and computer printouts spread out all over the living room floor.  Kaiba the Living Zombie seriously needs the extra help, but he won't let me do anything.  He makes sure Mokuba doesn't work too hard, though.  Yeah, he told his little bro.  Kinda hard not to, what with him yelling at empty air all the time.

Kaiba was gettin' in my face for wandering out into the hallway when I was supposed to be lyin' in bed like a good little doggy.  I can't stay in bed doing nothing for hours on end!  We were – well, _he_ was – getting pretty loud.  We didn't see Mokuba until he opened his mouth.  It went something like this:

_"Uh, big brother..."_

_Kaiba blinks and pretends I'm not here.  "What is it, Mokuba?  I'm rather busy."_

_Mokuba looks around, sees nothing but his brother getting up close to a wall.  "Um, yeah... Well, I was sorta wondering..."_

_"Wondering?"_

_"You know, the mirror and Joey and the bathroom and now you're talking to yourself all the time and I know you think I'm just a kid and I don't know anything but you can tell me, right?" he blurts out._

_Another blink.  "Would you mind repeating that?"_

_"I told you Joey was here and I'm right, aren't I?  That time he wrote on the mirror.  It was really him, right?  And you can see him!"_

_Kaiba figures out what he's talkin' about. He glares at me like it's all my fault.  Oh wait, it is.  "Just tell him already, Kaiba."_

_He looks like he wants to argue, but in the end he nods at me and goes back to his brother.   "You were right about Joey.  That dumb mutt is still around," he admits._

_"Ha!  I knew it!"_

So, yeah, he knows.  Can't see me, but he knows.

Mokuba's an amazing kid.  A normal kid would be running away screaming by now.  I forget he's a Kaiba sometimes, but he's as sharp as his brother, sharper even.  When he grows up, he's gonna be really something.  Just amazing, and I mean 'good amazing', not 'Seto Kaiba crazy freak amazing'.

I'm disappearing a little more each day.  Just a little bit, but Kaiba can tell and so can I.  We've tried everything and none of it's doing the job.  The one with the cow blood and feathers was kinda fun, though.  There's some ancient Egyptian rituals that sorta look like what we want, but huge chunks of the instructions are missing.  We can't even guess at it.

So right now I'm lyin' on the couch in the living room, feeling lousy, while Kaiba yells at me.  Again.

"Just give that worthless Egyptian whatever the hell he wants and let him help you!"  We've gone over this like ten times already.

"NO!"

"Then just tell me what he wants, Wheeler, and _I'll_ give it to him!"

"NO!  How many times do I hafta say it, Kaiba!?  NO.  FUCKING.  WAY!"

"You pathetic, flea-bitten cur, LOOK AT YOURSELF!"

"Uh, big brother?"  Mokuba's flipping through a book on voodoo or something, looking kinda hurt.

Kaiba shuts up and goes to him.  "I'm sorry, Mokuba, I didn't mean _you_."  He ruffles his brother's hair.  "Have you found anything?"

"No..."  This must be pretty hard on the kid.  He's got a lotta faith in his big brother.  Mokuba can't see me or hear me.

The phone rings and Kaiba shoots me a look before he picks up.  "Kaiba."

Pause.

He's not happy.  "Are you sure?  This isn't a good time."

Pause.

"Fine.  I'll be there in twenty minutes."  He hangs up the phone, takes a breath, and calls for a limo to pick him up.  He grabs his trench coat and heads for the front door, picking up his briefcase along the way.

Hang on, he's not supposed to be goin' anywhere!  "What's up, Kaiba?"

"Big brother?"

Kaiba unlocks the door.  "I'm sorry, but I have to go to work."

_Go to work!?_  I leap off the couch.  Makes me dizzy, but I hide it.  "You're freakin' _nuts!_  There's some guy runnin' around tryin' to kill you!"  I yell.

"But you _can't!_" argues Mokuba.

"I have to.  The company needs me."

"The company can go fuckin' screw itself for all I care, Kaiba!  Stay!"

He smirks.  "Interesting mental image, Wheeler, but physically impossible."

Mokuba looks at his brother and tries to figure out what he's replying to.  "Whatever Joey said!" he agrees firmly.  Mokuba's a great kid.

Kaiba glares at him.  "I hope not, Mokuba, or I'll have to wash your mouth out."  And then he glares at me.  "You, too.  Watch your language around my little brother."

"You can't do anything about it if you don't stay, big brother!"

It's worse than that.  "Ya can't do anything about it if you're _dead_, Kaiba!  That guy's still out there!"

"I have no choice, you two!  If I miss another day, Kaiba Corp. is finished!"

"You can't work anyway!  You look worse than I do!"

"I sincerely doubt that, dog-boy."

"...Big brother..."

Kaiba kneels down so he can look Mokuba in the eye.  "I'm really sorry, little brother, but I really don't have a choice in the matter," he says softly.  "You'll be safe here while I'm away.  I'll be back, don't worry."

"But-"

He gets up and opens the door.  "I'll see you later, I promise."

And then he leaves.

I wanna follow him.  The guy's runnin' on coffee and toast.  He's gonna get hit by a car or something.

But I'm in bad shape.  Getting worse.  If I go...

"Joey?"

Is Mokuba talking to me?  I look at him.  He's lookin'... everywhere.  "Yeah, kiddo?"

"I know I can't hear you, and I don't know if you can hear me, but Seto says you can.  I hope you can," Mokuba tells the room in general.  He looks at his feet.  "Big brother won't say it, but... but I don't think we'll find anything in time to help you, Joey.  He's trying so hard and he can't do it."

I sorta figured that.  Kaiba's going nuts.  He hates it when he can't do something.  "It's okay, Mokuba."

Mokuba goes back to his chair and hugs his knees.  "...I've never seen him like this before, never...  I know he's not crazy.  I know you're really here... but...  he shouldn't be going out there alone!" he cries.  "I want him to come back."

Ya know what?  So do I.  'Cause Mokuba likes him.

"I...  I'm scared, Joey.  What if he doesn't come back?  What if that man tries to kill..."  He's starting to whimper a little.  Poor kid.  "He's always been there, we've always been together..."  I can see the tears running down his face.  "...What if he doesn't come back, Joey?  What do I do?"

You're such a prick, Seto Kaiba.  Yeah, your job's important, but you just made your brother cry.  What's goin' on in your head?

I make a decision.  It's an easy one.  "Don't worry 'bout it, kiddo."  I stand in front of his little huddled body and make a promise.  "Joey'll make sure he doesn't get himself killed.  I'll go get his stupid ass and drag him back here."

Kickin' and screamin' if I have to.

**************************************************************************


	19. I Told You So

**Summary:**  Tragedy strikes.  Joey Wheeler is gone forever.  Or is he?  Joey POV.  Post Duelist Kingdom AU.  Will eventually be Seto/Joey shounen-ai.

**Author's Notes:**  Well, I thought I'd try writing a YuGiOh fic.  And it's still going.  And going.  And whoa, still going.

Thanks for continuing to read the story.  The thought gives me warm fuzzies ^_^

Angel-Belle:  Yup, I used your sign. I didn't know I'd used it until after I'd written the chapter, does that make sense?  Err… I guess I'll ask permission now ^_^;;

Athene:  It's hard...   I don't think I'll be doing the 'update every day' thing after I finish this entire fic.

bigfuzzydiceperson:  If I update any faster I'll explode…

Hakai Suru:  That's why I put this story under 'General' ^_^

The end of the story is near!  Well, in sight, anyway.

**Warnings:**  Character death (sort of), language, angst, eventual Seto/Joey.

**Disclaimers:**  I don't own YuGiOh or any other brand names you might come across.  No cooties were harmed in the making of this fic.

**************************************************************************

**Being Dead Ain't Easy**

**Chapter Nineteen:  I Told You So**

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I end up leggin' it to Kaiba Corp.  Hitch hiking doesn't work anymore; I get woozy just trying to be solid enough to get in and stay in while the car's moving.  It's a long walk.  Kaiba's really gonna get it when I find him.

I finally make it there who knows how many hours later.  The sky's gone dark and grey.  It looks like it's gonna rain and Kaiba didn't bring an umbrella.  I hope it rains buckets on him.  He deserves it for being so stupid.

I float up and barge into his office with a nice little speech in the back of my head, all ready to go.

He's not here.

Not at his desk, not in his chair, not hiding behind the door 'cause he saw me coming and didn't wanna face the wrath of Joey.

He didn't go home already, did he?  It would really suck if I went through all that trouble for nothing.  I take a look at his desk.  Looks like Kaiba got a new phone and got rid of his old one.  His papers and things are spread out over his desk.  All his stuff's still here.

So where the fuck is he!?

Kaiba's things are in his office, so he's still in the building unless he suddenly decided to run around outside without his trench coat.  I don't see him doing that, so he's got to be here somewhere.  Maybe he went to get more coffee.  Maybe he's struttin' around the place like I giant rooster.  Maybe he's passed out in the hallway.  For all I know, he could be de-

No.

Should I go look for him, floor by floor?  It'd be hit and miss, though.  If he's wandering while I'm wandering, I'll never find the guy.  But what can I do?  No way am I goin' back to Mokuba, saying 'Sorry, no dice, couldn't find him, even though ya didn't ask me to'.  Not that he'd hear me, but still.

I hear the door open.

Well, look who finally decided to show up.  Good news, Mokuba; he's still alive.

And oh so happy to see me.  "What the hell are you doing here, Joey?"

Look who's talking!  "What the hell are _you_ doing here, ya stupid freak?!" I spit back in his face.  "Mokuba's worried sick!"

Kaiba shoves me away and heads for his desk.  "I'll be done in a few more hours," he says calmly.

I don't think so.  "We're goin' home NOW!  Get your stuff; we're leavin'!" I growl.

He turns around to face me.  "No, _you're_ going home now.  How many times do I have to tell you to rest, you deaf mutt?"  He starts shoving me out the door, but then he changes his mind and drags me back in.  "Never mind, stay.  You can't waste your strength walking back.  I'll call a limo to drive you home."  He pulls out his cellphone.

Yeah, I can picture it now.  _"This is Kaiba.  Drive this person you can't see back to my mansion.  And make sure he lies down in the backseat so he can rest.  The stupid dog keeps trying to get up.  No, I'm not crazy, why do you ask?  By the way, you're fired."_

I grab his wrist so he can't call.  "Not gonna happen, Kaiba.  We're both goin' or we're both stayin'.  Wait, scratch that.  We're both goin', period."

"I _can't!_" he hisses.

"Why the hell not!?" I hiss back.

He pulls outta my grip and goes to his desk.  He spins the laptop around and shoves it in my face.  "Do you see?  Do you understand, you stupid dog!?" he yells.

I narrow my eyes.  "Not everybody breathes spreadsheets like you do, Kaiba.  Tell me what I'm lookin' at here."

He sighs and drops in his chair.  "The company is falling to pieces around me.  The Big Five have ruined me, and exceptionally well.  Flawless work from the inside.  I couldn't have done it better myself."

"I'm sorry."

"There's nothing I can do, NOTHING!"  He slams his fist down on the desk so hard the pencils bounce.  Then he just sorta deflates in his chair and stares off into space.  "I can do... absolutely _nothing_."

If it's so pointless, why are you still here bein' a dick?  "Then come home with me, Kaiba."

He snorts.  "And leave all this behind?"

"Well, _yeah_.  If Kaiba Corp.'s goin' down the toilet and ya can't do anything about it, there's no point just sitting there."

He glares at me like _I'm_ the one in the wrong.  "I can't just give up, you dumb mutt!  Mokuba-"

"Mokuba wants ya home," I interrupt.  "What, are ya gonna go broke the second the company goes belly up?  You've got money saved away, right?"

"Of course I do.  What kind of fool do you take me for, Wheeler?"

I'll answer that when we get home, ya jerk.  "So there ya go!  Use the money you got, get a new job, problem solved."

"I don't _want_ a new job.  I am, and always will be, Seto Kaiba, CEO of Kaiba Corporation!" he growls.

The guy's nuts.  "You're not your job, ya freak!  It's just a company!"

"It's not _just a company_ to me!  It's... everything.  It's _mine_."

I've had just about enough of this.  It's like talking to a brick wall.  I turn around and make like I'm heading for the door.  "Jeez, and here I was thinkin' your little brother meant more than that.  Guess I was wrong, eh Kaiba?  Sorry for buggin' ya."

He grabs me by the arm.  Hard.  How the hell is he doing that!?  "Never doubt what Mokuba means to me, Joey Wheeler," he growls in my ear.  "Everything I do is for him."

"Can't be.  You're still here arguin' with me instead of goin' home like he wants."

Kaiba lets me go.  "The company-"

I straighten out.  "-Can go screw itself, oh, never mind, it's already doin' that."

"Very mature, Wheeler."  Like you're any better?

"Mokuba doesn't want cha to get killed, alright?  You think he's gonna be happy if you die?"  I guess I'll hafta spell it out for Kaiba; he's just not getting it.  "He's cryin' his eyes out right now, didja know that?  He's cryin' 'cause his big brother thinks his job's more important than his life.  He's cryin' 'cause his big brother might die and leave him all alone with nobody but a dyin' dead guy for company."

He swallows, tries to argue.  "I..."

"He loves you."  I can't make it any simpler for you, Kaiba.

He puts his face in his hands.  We're both quiet for a while.  "...He's really worried about me, isn't he."

"No, he wants ya to hurry up and die so he can give your company to Yuugi and call it Mutou Corp.  _God_, Kaiba, you're the stupidest genius I ever met."

He looks up and gives me a smirk, sorta.  "And how many geniuses have you met, puppy-boy?"

"Three:  Yuugi, Mokuba, and the moron I'm talkin' to right now."

He closes his eyes.  "I'm a terrible big brother."

"Yeah, you suck."  I put a hand on his shoulder.  "So come back with me and do a better job, okay?"  Gah, I'm touching _Kaiba!_  I take the hand off.

"I suppose you're right."  Kaiba calls for a limo and starts packing his briefcase.  Finally.  "You'd have to be to even have a chance at winning an argument, chihuahua."

"That's what I'm sayin'."  I think.  "And don't call me that."

He just smirks and opens the door for me.  What Mokuba sees in the guy, I'll never know.  We leave the office and get into an elevator.  Kaiba puts his briefcase down and pushes the button for the ground floor.  The doors close.  "I'm expecting you to actually rest when we get back, understand?"

"I'm not stupid, Kaiba.  I only got up 'cause of _you_."

The elevator shakes and starts moving.

Up.

Is it supposed to do that?  NO.

Kaiba frowns, pushes some more buttons.  _Now_ he wants to get outta here.

We're still goin' up.

Okay, no biggie, maybe some guy on the floor above us wants to get on the elevator, too.  Yeah.

Is it just me, or is the elevator speeding up?

"Uh, Kaiba..."

"Yes, something is wrong, shut up."  He pushes the emergency stop button.  Not working.  Emergency phone.  Not working.  None of it's working.

We're going way, way too fast.  "Kaiba, fix the damn elevator."

He pulls some stuff outta his briefcase.  "What does it look like I'm trying to do!?"  He's holding his cellphone in one hand and trying to pry the elevator control panel off using a screwdriver with the other.  The panel falls off.  The insides are smoking.  He backs off, yells into his phone, swears, stuffs it in his pocket.  The reception on his cellphone is crap.  We're on our own.  Kaiba's on his own.

At this rate, we're gonna blast through the roof.  Okay, that's not too bad, it's better than crashing down, right?  Right.

"Kaiba, there's gotta be a way outta here, to stop this thing, right?  This ain't another one of your custom designs, right?"  I stick my head through the door.  The floors zoom by.  We're goin' even faster than I thought.  We hafta stop the elevator, or slow it down, or _something_, if we wanna get out.  Sure, _I_ can get out now, but Kaiba...

He'd get spattered all over the shaft.

The elevator's starting to fill with smoke.  It's not too bad right now, but...  "Kaiba, can ya stick the panel back on or something?"

He grabs it, sticks it roughly where it's supposed to go, and hammers it in with his elbow.  Good enough.

Kaiba scans the walls, ceiling, floor, looking for anything, _anything_ to make the elevator stop.  His eyes fall on a funny little black thing above his head.  He stares at it, stands on his briefcase so he can reach it, and then suddenly lunges and stabs it with his screwdriver.  He smashes it until it's a mess of smoking wires.

"Kaiba?"

"Optical bug," he spits out.  "_That man_ must have done something the moment he saw me enter.  The elevator's been sabotaged."  He punches the wall.  "_Morrison!_" he snarls.

Psycho gunman.  And, from the looks of it, a 'blow shit up' extraordinaire.

We're dead.

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	20. What I Don't Say

**Summary:**  Tragedy strikes.  Joey Wheeler is gone forever.  Or is he?  Joey POV.  Post Duelist Kingdom AU.  Will eventually be Seto/Joey shounen-ai.

**Author's Notes:**  Well, I thought I'd try writing a YuGiOh fic.  And it's still going.  And going.  And whoa, still going.

Thanks for the reviews (and tolerating cliffhanger after cliffhanger…)  ^_^;;

Amaroq:  I don't think they'll be sleeping together if you mean *sleeping* together...

Does this count as Seto/Joey luvy-wuvyness?  I really have no idea!  By the way, the incident referred to is in Chap17.

**Warnings:**  Character death (sort of), language, angst, eventual Seto/Joey.

**Disclaimers:**  I don't own YuGiOh or any other brand names you might come across.  No aardvarks were harmed in the making of this fic.

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**Being Dead Ain't Easy**

**Chapter Twenty:  What I Don't Say**

**************************************************************************

We stand there in the screechin' elevator-rocket, staring at each other.  The smashed control panel makes pretty sparks.  The escape hatch in the ceiling is melted shut.  Kaiba managed to pry the elevator doors open, but we're going too fast for him to get out that way.  We're stuck.

Kaiba's dead calm now.

"So what's the plan, Kaiba?"

He goes back to his briefcase-

Great, maybe he's got some high tech Kaiba gizmo for fixing runaway elevators!

-and pulls out a piece of paper and a pen.  Kaiba kneels down on the floor and closes the briefcase, using it like a table.  He thinks for a bit and starts writing.

Don't be doin' what I think you're doin'.  "Kaiba?"

"Be quiet, I'm writing a letter to Mokuba.  Hopefully, it'll still be intact when somebody digs my body out of this soon-to-be smoking wreckage."

"That's a lousy plan."

"If you have a better one, I can't wait to hear it."

I can't think of anything.  Fifteen seconds later, Kaiba finishes his will or whatever and puts it in his metal briefcase.  That thing's probably indestructible.

I don't wanna listen to the elevator screeching anymore.  I have to say something.  "What's gonna happen when we reach the top?  Are we gonna launch into space?"

He snorts.  "Hardly.  This is an elevator, not a space shuttle.  We'll reach the top floor in a few minutes, stop, and then probably plummet to our gory, painful deaths.  I mean, _my_ death.  Of course, at the rate you're going, you'll probably 'die' a few seconds after I do."

Kaiba, I never wanna get stuck in an elevator with you again.  I'd rather be shot.  And talkin' about getting shot...  "Sounds like a pretty roundabout way of killin' ya."

He thinks about it.  "I suppose so.  It would be less complicated to simply blow up the elevator, but I'm assuming he wants me to suffer more than that."  He looks at me, frowns.  "Why are you still here?  Do you want to watch me die?"

What kinda guy do you think I am, you sick freak?  I glare at him.  "No, I promised to bring ya home.  Can't do that if I just leave ya here."  Okay, maybe I'm being too harsh.  I'm makin' it sound like some kinda chore.  "Besides, not even _you_ deserve to be all alone right now," I add.  And maybe it's kinda my fault for making you rush home.  Maybe you would've taken the stairs if I hadn't been there.  But it's _your_ fault for leavin' in the first place!

"I see.  You're staying with me because you are simply that decent a human being."  He leans against an elevator wall.  "So decent you would even keep a spoiled rich boy company," he says, voice flat.

He's twistin' up everything I say!  "It's not like that, Kaiba!"

He looks at me.  "Then what is it?" he asks.

"It's...  it's..."  Good question.  Hard to answer without sounding like a sap.  "Shouldn't cha be tryin' to stop the elevator or something?"

"It will stop when it stops," he says calmly.  "We are well and truly trapped.  Now answer my question."

I never thought I'd have to talk about this kinda crap with _Kaiba_, of all people.  I mean, Yuugi, sure, he's not the kinda guy who'll take what you say, twist it around, and stab you with it.  Kaiba... he's not a nice guy like Yuugi.  But he might be dead in a minute.  This might be a last request.  So I gotta give him an answer.

I'll give it a shot.  Here goes.  I take a not-breath.  "I don't hate you that much, Kaiba.  I mean, I used to, but you really helped me out, ya know?  I know it must be pretty weird talking to a dead guy and all, but you did it anyway and tried your best to keep me alive.  I mean not dead.  Whatever.  Ya know?"  It's not comin' out right.

He's not impressed.  "Really."

"And Mokuba likes you a lot, so I guess you can't be all bad."

Silence.

"So what exactly are you saying?"

I run a hand through my hair.  This is _not_ easy.  "I'm sayin'... sayin'..."  What am I saying?  "Gimme a break, Kaiba!  I just _told_ you!"

Kaiba stares at me, thinking.  Then he smiles.  "So say it again."

He's being a prick.  He knows damn well what I'm saying-

Wait a sec.  This is starting to sound familiar...

_"Why do you care, Kaiba?  Why do you care?"_

_"We went over this already, Wheeler."_

_"So say it again."_

_"I don't hate you enough to let you die this way, you dumb dog!  Is that so hard to understand?" he snarls at me.  "Is that so very hard to understand?"_

Yeah, I get it now.  Just the other way around.

"I'm saying I don't hate you enough to let you die like this, you stupid freak.  Do you get that?  Even you can get that, right?"  I walk up to Kaiba and slam my hands on the wall on either side of his body, trapping him.  I get in his face, but this time, we're not fighting.  It's like we're acting in a play.  "Do I hafta use smaller words?"

I still can't read those eyes of his.  "Please do.  I'm just a rich boy, after all," he says softly.

It's my turn.

I move in close, so close I could kiss him by accident.  "I don't want you dead, Seto Kaiba."  Take that however you want.

Am I saying the same thing he said to me, or do I mean something else?  What did _he_ mean?  I don't know.

He looks at me.  I look at him.

And the elevator stops.

Kaiba blinks and shoves me outta the way.  Prick.

I guess we're on the top floor of Kaiba Corp.  There're two sets of elevator doors:  the ones in the elevator, and the ones that open out into the building.  Kaiba busted open the elevator ones before, so all he has to do is get through the other ones before something happens.

He's pushing the doors apart with his hands.  He's strong.

I hear a muffled 'boom' and an elevator cable snaps.  The whole elevator shakes and tilts a little.  Why am I just standing there!?  "Hurry it up, Kaiba!"  I rush over to help him.  He glares at me, but I'm pretty immune to those now.  I focus on being solid and push too.  Dizzy, ignore it, not important right now.

Another cable snaps.  The elevator drops a foot.

Kaiba hooks a foot on the handle of his briefcase while still pushing the doors.  He's flexible, too.  Martial arts training.

Snap.  We drop another foot.

We get the doors open enough and Kaiba shoves me through the gap, kicks his briefcase out after me, and finally jumps out himself.

Another snap and the elevator drops with a screech of metal on metal.  I look down the shaft.  No ladders.  Ten seconds later, I hear the elevator hit bottom.  It sounds like a car crash.  I can imagine the sound of the fire, the smoke...

I give myself a shake and spin around.  Kaiba's dusting himself off.  "You stupid jerk!  You saved your briefcase _first!?_"

"My laptop's in it."  He says that like it makes perfect sense.

Can you believe this guy?  "You're nuts."  I take a look around.  We're in a room with two doors.  "Where are we?"

"On top of the Kaiba Corp. building."  Kaiba pulls out his cellphone and tries to make it work, but the signal still won't get through.  He gives up and heads for the nearest door.  It's labelled 'STAIRS', but it won't open.  Melted shut.  Gee, I wonder what kinda psycho ex-employee would do something like that.  He heads for the other door.  It still works and he starts to open it, but stops.  Scowls.

He knows something I don't.  "What's up?"

"This door hasn't been tampered with.  He's expecting us."

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	21. Déja Vu

**Summary:**  Tragedy strikes.  Joey Wheeler is gone forever.  Or is he?  Joey POV.  Post Duelist Kingdom AU.  Will eventually be Seto/Joey shounen-ai.

**Author's Notes:**  Well, I thought I'd try writing a YuGiOh fic.  And it's still going.  And going.  And whoa, still going.

Holy bananas, over 400 reviews! *gives out little chocolate Millenium Items*  Thanks, everyone!

Angel-Belle:  Kaiba keeps forgetting that Joey's dead (he shoved him out of the elevator, right?) so he's assuming the crazy guy knows about him, too...

Llyxius:  There was an aardvark plushie at the bottom of the elevator shaft.  Some joker decided to put one there for laughs.  Oh the cruelty!

radiany-chan:  Nope, not an English major, but I did ok in English during high school. ^_^  And the reason the plot's not too bad is because this story's been sitting in my head for about a month before I actually decided to write it...

**Warnings:**  Character death (sort of), language, angst, eventual Seto/Joey.

**Disclaimers:**  I don't own YuGiOh or any other brand names you might come across.  No umbrellas were harmed in the making of this fic.

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**Being Dead Ain't Easy**

**Chapter Twenty-One:  Déja Vu**

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Kaiba just stands there with his hand on the door.  He's not moving.

Morrison might be on the other side of the door.  "So do we go or do we stay?"

"This door leads outside to the rooftop.  My cellphone should work there.  I doubt Morrison would have the resources to block the signal once I'm outside.  I could call a helicopter to pick us up.  And police as well, of course."

"But he's waiting for us.  For you."

"There's no other way out."  Kaiba brushes his hair outta his eyes.  It's getting kinda messy.  He smirks.  "I could always try my luck and leap down the elevator shaft."

Funny guy.  "No ladders.  I don't think so."  Unless...  "You got rope?"

He snorts.  "Exactly how much do you think I can fit into my briefcase, Wheeler?"

I guess that means 'no'.  "And the stairs are a no go, huh..."

"Right."

Well, what's the big rush?  "Can't we just stay put and wait for help?"

He opens his mouth, but suddenly we hear a static-y crackling sound, like the way a loudspeaker sounds before somebody makes an announcement.

_- "I can see you, Seto Kaiba." -_

Kaiba narrows his eyes.  "Morrison."  He searches the room for the source of the sound, but it's like it's coming from everywhere.

_- "Yesss...  Your conversation makes interesting listening, Seto Kaiba.  Who is this 'Wheeler' that you talk to?  I can't see your imaginary friend anywhere." -_

"What do you want?" he says coldly.

_- "Come out and I'll show you, Seto Kaiba." -_

I don't think so.  "This is a pretty bad time to be playin' show and tell, don't cha think?"

Kaiba nods at me.  "I think it would be in my best interests not to."

_- "I think you should come out, Seto Kaiba.  Let me help you decide." -_

We hear a click from his end, and a beep from ours.  What did he just do?

_- "You have...  mmm... five minutes." -_

"Before what?"

_- "Before.  YOU.  DIE!" -_

 And the crazy fucker starts laughing.  And he won't stop.

"_Damn you, Morrison!_" yells Kaiba.  But the guy just keeps laughing.

The room's starting to fill with smoke.  Kaiba coughs, covers his mouth and nose with his hand, breathes some in anyway.  I don't know if it's smoke or poison gas.  He drops.  I guess that answers my question.  "Kaiba!"  I shake him and the world spins for just a second.  "KAIBA!"

He glares at me.  "I'm fine, Wheeler!"  he coughs.  "Get out of here before he kills you, too!" he gasps out.

Before he kills me too?  "He already _did!_  I'm freakin' _dead_, Kaiba!"

His eyes are watering.  Must be the gas.  "I'm aware of that, chihuahua!" he snarls.  "It just... slipped my mind.  It's been a long day.  Days.  Weeks, even..." he trails off.

What the hell's in this smoky junk!?  Kaiba's starin' off into space.  We have to go NOW.

"Come on Kaiba, we've gotta get outta here.  I know it's what he wants, but we've got no choice."  He's still on the floor with a glassy look in his eyes.  "GET THE FUCK UP, KAIBA!"

He blinks up at me.  "...Wheeler.  What are you doing here?"  He's totally out of it.

This is _so_ not good.  "Listen up, Seto Kaiba.  See that door over there?"  I point at it and make sure he's looking.  "I want cha to go over there and open it, okay?"

"I don't really want to."  He closes his eyes.

There's no way I can pick him up and get him outta here.  It's all up to him.  There's gotta be some way I can get Kaiba to drag his own ass out the door!  "I can't believe a little smoke can drop the great Seto Kaiba!"  I shout.  I won't believe it.  It's not true.  "Look!  LOOK AT ME, DAMMIT!"  I grab him by the shoulders and shake him hard.  I blink away the stars.  "The DUMB MUTT can do something _you_ can't!  It's gonna get broadcast all over the news!"  He's swaying back and forth.  "KAIBA, YOU LISTENING TO ME!?" I scream in his face.  "LOOK AT ME!"

Kaiba's looking, thank god he's looking.  "You're nothing but a whimpering, pathetic dog, Wheeler," he mumbles like a zombie.  "Chihuahua."  Autopilot.

Good enough.  "Then drag your rich butt over to that door and prove me wrong, Kaiba!  Prove me wrong."  Please.

I walk over to it and wait for him.  Kaiba slowly, slowly crawls on the floor until he's in front of me.  How many minutes did it take?  The psycho said we had five, right?  Five until what?  Death?  Brain damage, _then_ death?  "Anything you can do I can do better."  Then he giggles.  He's getting worse.

"Good, that's good, Kaiba.  Man, you really showed me!  Hey, look, I can't open the door!  But that's okay, 'cause you can't either, right?"  He's passing out.  Don't you dare do this to me, Kaiba.

I give him another shake and I almost black out on top of him.  When I can finally see again, Kaiba's lookin' at me, worried.  I can't get up.  He blinks.  "I can open doors better than anyone..."

He's still with me.  Sort of.  "Show me."

And he does.

The door swings out, Kaiba loses his grip on it, and we both spill out on wet concrete.  It's pouring rain out here and the sky is totally grey.

He tumbles onto his hands and knees and starts coughing.  I didn't notice before, but the stupid freak's _still_ got his briefcase.  I crawl up to him.  Damn, I can see the rough surface of the cement right through my hands like I'm freaking hollow.  "Kaiba?  You with me?"  He's got the coughing under control and now he's gulping in air.

He coughs one more time and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand.  "If you mean if I'm still alive, then yes, I suppose so," he says, voice scratchy.  "And you look terrible.  Didn't I tell you to rest?"

Kaiba's okay.

_- "Very impressive, Seto Kaiba.  I wasn't expecting you to live.  A worm with nine lives." -_

There's no way to tell where the sound's coming from.  Kaiba manages to get to his knees.  "Why are you doing this, Morrison!?  All I did was fire you!" he snarls.

_- "You destroyed my life!  Nobody wants to hire a man who wasn't good enough for the great Seto Kaiba." -_

"No, they don't want to hire you because you're insane."

_- "But you're wrong.  I'm not insane!  I can see you for what you really are, just like my new employers can." -_

"Who are they."  But I think Kaiba already knows.

_- "The five greatest men in the world.  Now you know why you have to die." -_

Kaiba stumbles to his feet.  "Show your face, you coward!" he hisses.

A static-y chuckle.

_- "I don't think so.  I can see you just fine where I am." -_

Where's the crazy fucker hiding!?  I scan the roof we're on even though I can't get up.  Kaiba's doing the same, slowly walking around.  Helicopter landing pad, some sorta storage shed or something, another closet thing...  There's too many damn things to hide behind!  He could be anywhere!

I see something move outta the corner of my eye.  It's a guy with black hair.  And a gun.

Shit, he's got Kaiba in his sights!  "Kaiba, DOWN!"

He sees the gun.  Freezes.

Shit, he's not gonna make it.  I stagger up and start running.  The world's doin' a crazy dance around me and every step's so _hard_ but I can see them and everything's in slow motion -

_Kaiba's moving outta the way but he's too damn slow_

_The crazy fuck's pulling the trigger, I can see it move_

_Gun goes off, it sounds like a messed up, stretched out cassette tape, slow, not slow enough_

-and I slam into Kaiba so hard he totally drops.  Everything snaps back to real time and I hear the gun go off.  He cries out.

Is he dead please no don't be dead Kaiba!  KAIBA!

I can't even see straight, but I look down at him and concentrate real hard.  There's a line of torn cloth on his arm.  Red starts spreading on his white trench coat where the rip is, but not a lot, just a little.

He's okay.

But not for long if he just lies there.  "_Move_, you stupid freak!" I gasp out.

Kaiba rolls outta the way in time to dodge another shot.  He blocks the next one with his metal briefcase.  Heh, so it's good for something, after all.  Is that why he carries it around all the time?  I can't do anything but watch.  I'm not even doing too good at the watching thing, but I focus 'cause I'll be _damned_ if I miss this.

Kaiba's dodging bullets left and right, taking cover behind anything he can find, blocking with his briefcase when he can't.  Morrison's laughing, having the time of his life.  When he runs outta bullets, he just pulls another gun outta his coat.

I have to help.  I have to do something.  But I can't even stand up.

Kaiba's panting.  He can't keep this up.  Not enough sleep, too much stress, poison gas, it's all catching up when he can't afford to fuck up.  He's getting desperate, he's got a crazy look in his eye.

Morrison's standing right there with his back turned to me.  If I could just...

Seto Kaiba picks right this second to rush the guy.  He charges straight at him.

Morrison aims his gun.

I headbutt the back of Morrison's knee and the fucker loses his balance.  The shot goes wide.  He looks down, his eyes widen.  "You..."

Kaiba slams into him and rips the gun away.  With a snarl, he punches Morrison in the gut so hard I hear ribs break.  Bent over, coughing blood, he staggers backwards until his heel hits the edge of the building.  He turns his head, sees where he is.  I can see his eyes filling with fear.

Kaiba slowly walks up to him.

Morrison's mouthing, 'No no no...' shaking his head.

Seto Kaiba smiles in the worst way I've ever seen... and shoves Morrison off the top floor of the Kaiba Corp. building.

It's a long way down.

Six seconds later, there's a screech of tires and a thick-sounding 'thud'.  No more Morrison.

Kaiba just killed a man.

I close my eyes.  I ache all over.  I really _did_ overdo it this time.

I hear Kaiba run up to me, his boots making a 'sploosh' sound every time he hits a puddle of rainwater.  "Joey!  NO!"

Hey Kaiba.  You just killed a man, and I don't care.  He deserved it.  Does that make me one of the bad guys?

"Open your eyes, you stupid dog!"

Sorry, can't.  Woozy.

I can feel him holding me in his arms.  I never did figure out how he does that, did I...?

"Don't you _dare_ do this to me again, Joey Wheeler!  _I won't let you_," he growls.  He takes one of his arms off me and I hear him call for a helicopter on his cell.  Reception's great.

"Kaiba..."  I manage to say.  I can hear the blades of the chopper as it comes closer and closer.  We're gettin' outta here.

"I won't let you die, Joey.  Not this time."

And he means it.

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	22. Let's Make a Deal

**Summary:**  Tragedy strikes.  Joey Wheeler is gone forever.  Or is he?  Joey POV.  Post Duelist Kingdom AU.  Will eventually be Seto/Joey shounen-ai.

**Author's Notes:**  Well, I thought I'd try writing a YuGiOh fic.  And it's still going.  And going.  And whoa, still going.

Thank you all for still reading this story!  It makes it all worth it ^_^

Hine no Chikyuu:  Thanks for the plushies! *uses 'em for sex-ed*

Jou-pup:  How did Morrison see Joey?  Let's ask him!  Oh wait, he's... nevermind ^_^;;

Kimmie:  They're virtual objects, so it's okay!  And I update every day between 12am and 2am... zzzzz

Cliffies are evil, but they're such a convenient place to stop...

**Warnings:**  Character death (sort of), language, angst, eventual Seto/Joey.

**Disclaimers:**  I don't own YuGiOh or any other brand names you might come across.  No milk cartons were harmed in the making of this fic.

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**Being Dead Ain't Easy**

**Chapter Twenty-Two:  Let's Make a Deal**

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I think Kaiba carried me to the helicopter.  I don't know, I was pretty out of it.  Everything was a blur of sounds and somebody saying "Excuse me, sir, but are you... carrying something?" and Kaiba going "Shut up and drive!" and traffic sounds and chopper blades.  I'm guessin' I've got that in the wrong order, but like I said, I was pretty out of it.

When I come to, Kaiba's laying me on the couch in his living room.  Mokuba's hovering around his big brother, looking worried but not knowing what to do.  Kaiba looks awful, his trench coat all bloody and ripped up where the bullets got a little too close.

He sees me blinking up at him.  "Joey?"

"Kaiba," I croak.  "You look like shit."

He smiles.  "So do you."  He brushes some of my hair back so it doesn't get in my eyes.  No real point; I can see through it.  "Now be a good doggy and lie there, alright?"

I'm not goin' anywhere.  "No prob," I whisper.

"Good.  Let me take care of everything."

Mokuba comes over and stares at what I'm guessing looks like an empty couch.  "Is Joey gonna be okay?  How is he, big brother?"

"Better than I expected."  He puts a hand on Mokuba's shoulder and guides him outta the living room, talking to him in a low voice.  "Have you found anything?  Anything at all?"

"I'm sorry, big brother, I really tried, but..."

I can't see them.  Why'd Kaiba want to go way over there, anyway?  "I know you did your best, Mokuba, and I'm proud of you."  A beat.  "Listen, I have to stay here and watch the mutt.  Could you do a favor for me?"

Their voices are sounding quieter and quieter.  They're walking farther away from the living room.  "Sure!  What is it?"

"I want you to..."  And then they're too far away for me to hear.  A minute later, Mokuba runs outta here like he's on fire, not even bothering to close the door after him.  Kaiba walks up and shuts it.

What was _that_ about?  "Where's he goin'?"

"I sent him on an errand," he says casually, kneeling back down next to me.  "Don't concern yourself, Wheeler."  He brushes my hair back again.

Uh huh.  "What, you checked the fridge and you're outta milk?"

"No, we have enough milk to last the week.  Now be quiet and shut that yappy little mouth of yours."

He's still messin' around with my hair.  Yeah, real sweet, but the blood dripping down his arm is kinda ruining it for me.  "Kaiba, go patch yourself up.  You're bleedin' on me.  On the couch, I mean."

"It's not as serious as it looks.  White is just a bad colour for bleeding on."

"Well, I'm feelin' sick just watching ya bleed, so do us both a favor and go clean up."

"I'm fine."

"Yeah, me too."

"Wheeler..."

Why is he arguing with me!?  "I'm not goin' anywhere, Kaiba!  Wash up and put some bandages on!  You won't be helpin' me any if you pass out!"

He glares at me.  I glare right back at him.

He ain't budgin'.

"Kaiba, go take care of yourself or I'm gettin' up and doin' it for you."  Yeah, _right_.  I can't move much.  I can talk and move my head and that's it.

I'm right and he knows it.  He glares at me one more time.  Kaiba finally stands up, swaying a bit, and straightens out.  He narrows his eyes at me.  "I'll be back in five minutes."

"Yeah."

He staggers off, misses the door and almost crashes into a wall.  He stumbles back, growls at the world, shakes his head and gives it another go.  He makes it through this time.  I hope Kaiba can find his way around okay.  He's runnin' on battery backup and willpower.

I'm all alone with nothing to do so I count the minutes go by.  Kaiba's taking a while.  Whadda day.  If Kaiba can't even walk without crashing into things, how the hell's he gonna help me?  All that research turned up zip.  Kaiba's doing everything he can and it's just no good.  I'm outta ideas.  It's over.  Maybe I should just tell Kaiba to give up so he doesn't die from exhaustion or something.  It'd be pretty damn stupid if he died because of me.  I'm all for trying your best, but enough's enough.

There's a jingle of keys at the front door.  It slams open.

"BIG BROTHER, I FOUND HIM!" screams Mokuba, all excited.

Found who?

Kaiba rushes over from wherever he was.  Great, he managed to clean up and slap some bandages on.  He's wearing a dark blue shirt with the sleeves rolled up.  "Good job, Mokuba.  Why don't you go upstairs for a while?"  Mokuba looks like he wants to argue, but Kaiba just looks at him.  The kid swallows and runs off.

Kaiba looks over the new guy.  I can't see him 'cause Kaiba's in the way.  "Come in."

"Um, thank you."  The guy hesitates at the door.  "Pardon me for asking, but what do you need to talk to me so badly about?  Not that I don't wish to talk to you, not at all, but it _is_ rather late, and I have a report due tomorrow.  Does it have to do with school?  Everyone's noticed that you haven't been attending classes lately.  If you need the homework you missed, I'll gladly give it to you..."

Oh shit, tell me that's not...

Kaiba drags him into the living room and spins him around so he's facing the couch.

It's Ryou Bakura.

I can't believe the prick went _behind my back_ and brought him here!  "DAMN YOU, KAIBA!  I SAID NO!"

Bakura looks all confused, but then his face _changes_.  It's not Ryou Bakura anymore.  That _guy_ slowly walks up to me and runs his eyes along my blurry, fading body.  "Well well well, if it isn't the dead man," he sneers.

"Get outta here, ya stinkin' backstabbin' thief!" I snarl.  I try to sit up but I can't.  Do you have any idea how hard it is to yell at someone while you're lying flat on your back?

"...I see you haven't changed your mind."

"Damn straight I'm not gonna change my mind!"

"Pity."

Kaiba butts in.  "I was under the impression that you could do something about this."  He crosses his arms.  "Am I wrong?"

Yami Bakura smiles.  "I might indeed be able to 'do something about this', Seto Kaiba."  He frowns down at me.  "Unfortunately, his current condition makes things somewhat more difficult."  He looks around the room, sees all the Egyptian raising dead ritual stuff.  "May I?"

Kaiba crosses his arms.  "Be my guest."

The spirit goes over all the stuff we've got.  Reads the hieroglyphics and little wiggly lines.  Nods.  "Excellent.  It is, of course, missing some vital information, but I happen to know what else we require.  The ritual is complicated, but it can be done."  He smiles.  "For a price."

"Name it."

"DON'T DO IT, KAIBA!" I yell from the couch.

"If your dying ghostly friend doesn't cooperate, the ritual won't work at all, my dear priest."

Kaiba blinks.  "Priest?"

"Perhaps I'll tell you later.  If you agree to my terms."  He looks at me.  "The dead man seems to be rather upset.  Why don't you go talk to your dog and make him see reason?"

"_No one_ is allowed to call him a dog except _me_, Bakura," hisses Kaiba, clenching his fists.

Yami Bakura just smirks at him.  "I'm awaiting your decision.  Don't waste my time."

Kaiba narrows his eyes, but comes over and kneels down next to me.  "What is _wrong_ with you, Wheeler!?" he growls.  "He's willing to help, so let him!"

"I _can't!_"

"WHY NOT!?" he yells.

I'm gonna hafta tell him to make him shut up.  "He wants the Millennium Puzzle, Kaiba!  We.  Can't.  Give.  It.  To.  Him."

Kaiba looks like he wants to choke me.  "It's just a stupid, tacky necklace, Wheeler!"

"It's not and you know it."  Okay, maybe he doesn't.  "He's tryin' to get all the Millennium Items, and when he does, he'll... he'll... blow up the planet or something!"  Lame, Joey, lame.

"I seriously doubt that."

"Okay, maybe he won't, but he's already bad enough with just the Ring!  You _can't_ give him the Puzzle, Kaiba.  It's Yuugi's."

"I don't care who it belongs to, Wheeler."

He doesn't get it.  "Yuugi's my _friend_, Kaiba.  If you hafta swipe it to save me, I'd rather die."

Kaiba looks shocked.  "Joey!"

"I mean it, Kaiba."  And that's that.

He glares at me, I glare at him and try to make him see it in my eyes, make him see that I'm not gonna give in.  A billion years later, Kaiba closes his eyes.  "Have it your way, you stubborn mutt.  If Yuugi Mutou means so much to you, I can't change your mind."  He gets up.

Yami Bakura's leaning against the wall, looking bored.  "Have you reached a decision, then?"

"Yes."  Kaiba turns around.  "What do you want in return for helping me save Joey?"

But we just...!  "Kaiba, what the hell do ya think you're-"

"_Shut up_, Wheeler!" he hisses.  He turns back to Bakura, puts his business face back on.  "Well?"

"The Millennium Puzzle would do nicely."

Kaiba shakes his head.  "No deal."  He walks to the front door.  "Can you walk or should I call a limo to drive you back to your apartment?"

"What...?"  Yami Bakura looks stunned.

"I don't like repeating myself, Bakura.  Are you going to walk or do you want someone to drive you?"

"Surely a man's soul is worth a small thing like a Millennium Item!"

"The soul in question apparently doesn't think so.  No Millennium Items.  This is not negotiable."

Yami Bakura starts to snarl something, but he suddenly smiles in a creepy kinda way.  "But anything else is?"

Not good.  Kaiba narrows his eyes.  "Within reason."

I got a bad feeling about this.  What's 'within reason' to Bakura?  To Kaiba?

The spirit thinks for a bit.  "Hmmm... Really, everything pales when compared to a Millennium Item," he says slowly.  He starts picking at his nails.

"I'm sure you can think of something."

Yami Bakura stops and looks at Kaiba.  Smiles.  "Anything, Priest?"

"As I said before, within reason."

"Very well, then."  He locks eyes with Kaiba.  "I've always wanted to be a... what do they call it now?  Ah yes, a CEO."  Yami Bakura narrows his eyes.  "Do you consider your precious Kaiba Corporation _within reason?_"

Kaiba opens his mouth but nothing comes out.

More silence.

It's okay, Kaiba.  "Beat it, Bakura.  We'll figure it out on our own," I say for him.

Yami Bakura shrugs and slowly heads for the door.

"Wait."

He looks over his shoulder with a nasty smirk.  "Yes?"  What a bastard.

Kaiba swallows.  "It's yours."

He's throwin' it all away.  Seto Kaiba, Mister 'I am, and always will be, Seto Kaiba, CEO of Kaiba Corporation!' is throwin' it all away.  For me.

He can't do this.  "Seto-  I mean, _Kaiba_..."

"'Seto' is fine," he says softly.  "After all, I _have_ been calling you 'Joey', occasionally."  He gives me a small smile.

"But... Kaiba Corp…"  It means so much to him, and he's really gonna just...?

He brushes it off.  "It's really not as bad as you think, Joey.  Give me some credit.  I'll live."

There's really nothing I can say.

Yami Bakura comes back.  "Do we have a deal?"

"Yes.  Kaiba Corp. is yours... _if_ you can do as you claim."

The spirit smiles.  "Agreed.  And if you break your word, I will kill you both."  He licks his lips.

"And if you break yours?" Kaiba asks calmly.

"Then I cannot take Kaiba Corp.  You lose nothing.  Except your friend, of course."

Kaiba doesn't look happy, but he glances at me, then sticks his hand out.  "The preservation of Joey Wheeler's soul in exchange for Kaiba Corporation.  Deal?"

Yami Bakura shakes it.  "It is as you say.  Deal."

I'm almost expecting Yami Bakura to pull out a contract and make Kaiba sign it in blood or something, but he just makes himself comfy on an armchair.  "Now listen carefully, for I do not like to repeat myself, either."

We're all ears.

**************************************************************************


	23. Power Is Everything

**Summary:**  Tragedy strikes.  Joey Wheeler is gone forever.  Or is he?  Joey POV.  Post Duelist Kingdom AU.  Will eventually be Seto/Joey shounen-ai.

**Author's Notes:**  Well, I thought I'd try writing a YuGiOh fic.  And it's still going.  And whoa, still going.  But it'll be over soon!

Thanks for still taking the time to write reviews!  I'm so happy ^_^

Dif:  In the Japanese version of that Duelist Kingdom episode where Bakura wanted Mokuba's empty body, he was actually after Mokuba's key to Kaiba Corp.  No idea why he wants it, maybe he's just greedy.  I haven't watched that version, but I thought it'd be nice to include that...

**Warnings:**  Character death (sort of), language, angst, eventual Seto/Joey.

**Disclaimers:**  I don't own YuGiOh or any other brand names you might come across.  No rolls of duct tape were harmed in the making of this fic.

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**Being Dead Ain't Easy**

**Chapter Twenty-Three:  Power Is Everything**

**************************************************************************

Yami Bakura takes his sweet time, making sure we all know who's in charge here.  Seto Kaiba's leaning against a wall with his arms crossed, looking like he wants to choke the words outta him.  And me?  I'm just lyin' on the couch being totally useless.  I hate it.

I can't take it anymore.  I'm runnin' outta time.  "You've made your point, Bakura.  Just tell us already!"

"You're in no position to demand anything, dog."  He smirks from his armchair.  "But I'm feeling generous enough to aid you despite your rudeness."

I'm about to say something nasty, but Kaiba catches my eye.  He looks pissed, but he shakes his head and mouths 'Later'.  Huh, I guess he really doesn't like it when other people call me a dog.  Well, if he doesn't want me to say anything, fine.  I'll save it up 'til _after_ Bakura does his thing.

The spirit finally decides to say something useful.  "The ritual I had originally planned to do would have been a simple affair, but the dead man's condition has worsened quite a bit.  Things are not as simple as they were before."  He frowns a little.  "The incomplete ancient rites you have provided are enough for me to come up with an alternative.  However, for the ritual I am considering now, we will have to make use of other people."

Other people?  "I don't do human sacrifice, Bakura."  Killin' people to save a dead guy is just plain stupid.

It's kinda scary how Kaiba's not complaining about it.

"It's not as bloody as it sounds, I assure you," says Yami Bakura.  "It is, shall we say, a modified version of the Millennium Item Creation ritual.  We will not be creating a Millennium Item, of course, but the ritual will serve our purposes.  I will still have to improvise, so the results should be quite interesting."

Ya know, I don't think I want 'improvised' and 'interesting'.  Sounds like a bad mix to me.  "I don't like the sound o' that."

Kaiba looks interested.  "Go on."

Yami Bakura smiles.  "We will need to draw from the life energies of seven people who are at least somewhat familiar with your dead friend.  The procedure will weaken them momentarily, nothing more.  Either way, the ritual may or may not work.  I promise nothing."

And what's he gonna do to 'em when they're all passed out on the floor, huh!?  "NO WAY are you suckin' the juice outta my pals for some freaky ritual that might not work!  I won't-"

And I black out for a second.  When I can see again, Kaiba's on top of me, about to slap me awake.

"I'M UP, I'M UP!" I yell.  Then I have to rest from the yelling.  Fine, we'll do the damned ritual.  Kaiba'd better make sure nobody gets hurt.

Kaiba looks me over.  He only gets off once he's sure I'm not about to die on him.

The Egyptian guy smirks.  "And I suggest you gather those people very soon.  The dead man will last no longer than a few hours, and the ritual will take at least one of those precious hours."

I'm not really up to saying much right now, so Kaiba does the talking.  "And we'll need seven people?"

He thinks about it.  "Not quite.  My host and I already count as two.  I must contribute my own energies and that of my host's in order to perform the ritual," he admits.  "You and your sibling count as another two."

Kaiba scowls.  "You're not touching my brother."

"In that case, we'll need four more people, then."  Yami Bakura gets hit by inspiration or something and smiles.  "One of which must be the Pharaoh."

That sounds damn suspicious.  "Why?" I croak.

"We will need all the power we can get."

Kaiba goes over to a phone across the room.  "Fine.  Does Yuugi Mutou count as two, as well?" he asks.

"Yes."

"Good.  That makes things easier."  He punches in a number by heart.  Somebody picks up on the other end.

Who's he calling?

"Hello, Yuugi, this is Kaiba," he says to the guy on the phone.  "You are a pathetic excuse for a duelist.  The reason you believe so strongly in the 'heart of the cards', otherwise known as 'luck', is because you have no idea what cards you actually have.  It's obvious your grandfather put his heart into your deck.  It's as feeble as he is.  Or were you the one who built it in the first place?  I find it hard to believe that an old man could come up with a deck that bad."

I can hear Yuugi yelling his head off, but I'm too far away to hear the words.  No, wait, it's gotta be Yami.

Kaiba smirks.  "Yami Yuugi, I presume?  Now that I have your undivided attention, I need you to do something."

More yelling.

"It's for Joey."

A long pause.

"Bring yourself and two of Wheeler's friends to my mansion in under an hour."

Pause.

"I need them for a ritual that might save the dumb mutt.  It won't kill them."

Another pause.

"They'll be fine, and I don't care how late it is.  Tie them up if you have to."

Pause.

Kaiba puts a hand over the mouthpiece.  "Wheeler, Mutou wants proof that I'm helping you and not simply luring your friends here so I can kill them.  What do you think I should say?"

I think back to my talk with Yami Yuugi way back when.  "Tell him that he promised to help me, so he shouldn't need any proof anyway.  And that, after spendin' so much time with you, I think he's right about your mind, though sometimes I wonder," I say, concentrating on not passing out.

Kaiba narrows his eyes.  "What did he say about my mind?"

"None o' your business."

He glares at me, but gets back to Yami Yuugi and repeats what I just said.

Pause.

He puts his hand over the mouthpiece again.  "Why is he laughing at me, Wheeler?"

"Dunno."

Kaiba glares at me some more before getting back on the phone.  "Don't waste my time, Mutou!  Hurry up and get those people here!" he yells.

Pause.

"Right."  Kaiba hangs up.  Turns to Bakura.  "They're on their way."

I try to say something, but just like that I black out again.

"JOEY!  WAKE UP!"  Kaiba's sitting on my legs and shaking me hard.

Wow, the stars I'm seein' are bouncing all over the place.  "I'm... still with ya, Kaiba.  And stop shaking me, okay?"

Kaiba drops me back on the sofa and glares at me for scaring him.

Yami Bakura's watching us.  "It's quite interesting how you manhandle that one's soul, Priest."

"What about it?" snarls Kaiba.

"You are mortal, are you not?  You should not be able to do so, no matter what you were in a past life."  The spirit leans forward.  "Tell me, Seto Kaiba, what exactly did you do when Joey Wheeler died?"

Kaiba stares off into space, remembering.  He gives himself a shake.  "I did nothing," he growls.

"I think not."  Bakura smiles.  He's leading up to something.  "Tell me _exactly_ what happened.  Why, it may even improve your friend's chances of surviving the ritual."

"He helped me get out of a burning limo," Kaiba says bluntly.  "He was standing in the wrong spot and got shot.  He died in my arms and I did nothing."

"Were you displeased?  Angry, even?"

What kinda question is that!?  "_Of course_ I was!" hisses Kaiba.

"Hmmm...  Are you quite sure you said nothing?  Nothing at all?"

"No, I said..."  Kaiba's eyes widen.  "I told him to... stay... with... me..."

No way, Yami Bakura can't mean..!

The spirit smirks.  "And what the High Priest wants, the High Priest gets."  He leans back into his chair.  "Your power rivals that of the Pharaoh's.  Even in an age when the Shadow powers are a mere whisper, your will alone is enough to deny a soul its rightful journey if it hesitates for even the briefest of moments."

Kaiba's in shock.  So am I.  "You mean I...?"

Yami Bakura nods.  "I'm quite impressed, Priest.  You bound a soul to yourself without your conscious awareness."

Kaiba swallows and tries to look calm.  "What are you saying, Bakura?"

"When you wish to do so, you can touch him quite easily... simply because he is yours."

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	24. Couch Potato

**Summary:**  Tragedy strikes.  Joey Wheeler is gone forever.  Or is he?  Joey POV.  Post Duelist Kingdom AU.  Will eventually be Seto/Joey shounen-ai.

**Author's Notes:**  Well, I thought I'd try writing a YuGiOh fic.  And it's still going.  And whoa, still going.  But it'll be over soon!

No way, over 500 reviews!?  ThankyouThankyouThankyou... *passes out from saying that more than 500 times*  Have some leftover Easter candy ^_^

haku:  5 chapters a day!?!?!

JKJ:  Yes, he will help.  I think.  Haven't written it yet...

Maiden:  I think the key was that card Kaiba gave to him.  I'm not sure, though...

man-o-man:  Mokuba's fine the way he is.  Besides, that would seriously change the plot I had in mind...

Sheron:  Sorry, this one's kinda dull.  It's hard giving lines to three people or more :(

tuulikki:  Yeah, ff.net drives me nuts sometimes, telling me that the chapter doesn't exist even though I know it's there.  What, does it disappear after _n_ number of people read it?

**Warnings:**  Character death (sort of), language, angst, eventual Seto/Joey.

**Disclaimers:**  I don't own YuGiOh or any other brand names you might come across.  No cakes were harmed in the making of this fic.

**************************************************************************

**Being Dead Ain't Easy**

**Chapter Twenty-Four:  Couch Potato**

**************************************************************************

There's bad, and then there's _bad_, but I'm havin' one of those days where I just wanna go curl up somewhere and hide 'til it's all over.  And after Bakura's little bomb, well, a guy can only take so much, ya know?  But the little Kaiba in my head's sayin' 'Whimpering dog! Whimpering dog!' and I don't take that from anyone, not even myself.

"Bakura, can ya go away for a little while?  I need to talk to Kaiba."  This is between me and him and we don't need an audience.

Kaiba looks at me, frowns.  "You shouldn't try to talk, Wheeler.  Just relax and let me-"

I glare at him.  "I don't think so, Kaiba  We need to talk NOW."  This is important, and I... might not be able to later.

Yami Bakura looks at us, smirking.  "Do I sense some tension?"  He laughs, but gets up anyway.  "I will need to gather some supplies.  Where do you keep your candles?" he asks Kaiba.

Kaiba's glaring back at me.  "Kitchen."

He gets outta the chair.  "Speak quickly, dead man, and be done by the time I return."  The spirit heads for the kitchen.  "I have no desire to hear whatever cloyingly sweet thing you wish to say."  Great, 'cause I'm not gonna.  And he leaves.  Wow, he's not being totally evil.  Weird.

Once Bakura's gone, Kaiba leans over me.  He sighs.  "What is it, Wheeler?"

I can't talk to him like this.  I'm steaming mad, but we can't talk like this.  "Help me up."

"And you had to send the Egyptian away for this?"

"Don't be a smartass, Kaiba.  Just help me sit up, alright?"

"You're too weak to-" he argues.

"It's not gonna make any difference!  Now help me sit the _fuck_ up!" I snarl.

He takes one look at me and does it.  I know I asked him to, but it's a serious blow to my pride, needing Kaiba to prop me up, move my arms, move my legs.  It's awful.  If Bakura can't pull this off, I don't _want_ to hang around like some kinda floppy doll.

Finally, I'm sitting up on one side of the couch.  Kaiba's standing in front of me with his arms crossed.  "Happy?"

It's weird how I'm starting to feel better.  I jerk my head to the spot beside me.  "Sit down."

He does it.  Maybe I should mark this down someday:  The Day Kaiba Did What I Wanted Without Makin' A Big Fuss About It.

Kaiba looks at me, I look at him, and it's better 'cause now I don't feel like I'm lyin' on my deathbed or something.  I don't think I'll ever lie on a couch again.

Okay, let's get this over with.  "I hate you, Seto Kaiba.  This is all your fault, you know that, right?"

He narrows his eyes.  "If I had known this was going to happen, I would have just dropped you on the street and left."

You would've, huh?  I don't know if that's good or bad.  "But you didn't and now I'm gonna die _again._  Because.  Of.  You."

"No you won't.  Bakura will-"

"Do some hocus pocus he just made up.  If you think that's gonna work, you're _nuts_."

"It will work, Wheeler.  I won't let it do otherwise."

Him and his stupid Priest powers.  "Yeah, the same way you didn't let me die?  That just makes it all better, huh!?  I got killed because of you!  And now even my _ghost's_ gonna die 'cause you wouldn't let me go!"

"I didn't do it on purpose!" he growls.

"You..."  I close my eyes.  I'm pissed off at him, _god_ I'm so pissed off at him.  Everything, _everything_ all comes back to Seto Kaiba.  I wanna scream at him 'til his ears bleed.

That's what I wanna do, but do I want that to be the last thing I ever say?  Do I want that to be the last thing Kaiba ever hears from me?  If I went 'poof' right now, would I want it to end this way?

Kaiba sighs.  "Joey, I never meant to..."

Enough excuses, already.  "Seto Kaiba, you wrecked my life.  You wrecked my death, too."

"I DID NOT-" he yells.

"JUST SAY YES, DAMMIT!"  I hit him with the glare to end all glares.

"...Yes."

Good boy.  "I know you're a lousy human being, but you know what to say when you totally fuck someone up and you didn't mean to, right?"

He blinks.  "I do?"

"Even little kiddies know.  Think real hard."

He thinks.  He's tired and not doing too good.  After about a minute, he figures it out.  "I'm... sorry?"

Took him long enough.  "Not bad.  Now say it like you mean it.  Seriously, I don't have all day."

Kaiba's gettin' it now.  "I'm sorry, Joey Wheeler, for putting myself in a situation where I and the people around me could get killed.  I'm sorry for accidentally turning you into a ghost.  I'm sorry for ignoring you when I could have been helping you.  And I'm sorry for going outside against your and Mokuba's better judgement, forcing you to come after me."

Good enough.  "Apology accepted.  If I make it, I'm gonna make you pay and pay and pay, but... apology accepted."

He leans back into the couch.  Closes his eyes.  "Thank you."

This is about as close to resting in peace as I'm gonna get.  Air cleared.

Still...  "That's pretty good, but what about being sorry for beating me up and insulting me all the time?"

His eyes are still closed.  "I'm sorry for breaking your arm that one time you called Mokuba a whiny little spoiled brat."

"Uh, Kaiba..."

He opens one eye.  "I never beat you up, Wheeler.  If I actually had, you would've ended up in the hospital.  Or dead."

I guess he's right.  The guy can break a bunch of ribs with one punch.  "So what do you call that?"

He smirks.  "Playing with Puppy."

I just _had_ to ask, didn't I.  "And the insults?"

"It amuses me when you get all defensive and yap at me."

And that's about as much as I wanna know about the mind of Seto Kaiba.  "You're a sick guy."

"Mmm."

"And I'm gonna be stuck with you for a long, long time if this all works out."

"Yes."  Kaiba squeezes my shoulder and his fingers don't go through.  "Because you're mine, according to Bakura.  He probably pities me."

Me.  Kaiba's.  I shudder in my head.  "Nah, he pities _me_.  Poor me, gettin' stuck with a freak like you."

"Actually, I pity you both."  Yami Bakura's back.  He's got some birthday candles, a lighter, and some tape.  He puts 'em on the floor by the front door.  "Are you done with your talk yet?"

"Yeah."

The spirit turns to Kaiba.  "Priest, do you have some object that was in contact with Wheeler when he died?"  He smirks.  "His dead body would do, but something less messy might be more convenient."

Kaiba gets off the couch.  "I might.  Why?"

"I will need to, ah, make use of it during the ritual.  Set it on fire, to be more precise."

Kaiba goes upstairs and outta my view, leaving me with Yami Bakura, the pyro.

"I know you're up to something," I say from the couch.

"Perhaps I am, but I am also helping you at the same time.  You are in no position to protest."

I'm about to say something, but Kaiba comes back down.  He's carrying _that_ trench coat.  "Wheeler died on it.  Will it do?"

"It will do.  Very nicely, in fact."  Yami Bakura drops it on the pile of candles and stuff.

Yeah, everything's going great, but what's he gonna _do?_  "So what's gonna happen at the ritual, Bakura?"

"The end result should be fairly straightforward.  Your soul will be anchored to an item of personal significance that has been infused with power.  Then, your soul and the item together will be joined with the Priest."

I don't wanna _join_ with him!  I hafta ask.  "Does it _have_ to be him?"

"Yes.  Nothing can break the bond that the High Priest has formed with you, not even himself.  Strengthening it is the only option at this point."

Kaiba frowns.  "Wheeler's soul will be preserved, right?"  Yami Bakura nods.  "Is he going to be trapped in this item or what?"

The spirit smiles.  "That's the interesting thing about improvised rituals:  You never really know what will happen."

_He doesn't know!?_  "Waitaminute!  What's the point if I get stuck in some item and I can't come out!?"

"The agreement was for the preservation of Joey Wheeler's soul only," says Yami Bakura coolly.  "He may be able to function the way I do, or the Pharaoh does, or... he may not."

Kaiba narrows his eyes.  "How will I know his soul is actually in this item, then?"

"I will tell you.  Or you can ask the tiny Pharaoh."

I see a teeny problem with this plan.  "Hang on.  You guys are goin' on and on about this item, but what the hell are we gonna use?"

Kaiba frowns.  "...You're right.  What are we going to use?"

Yami Bakura smiles some more.  "I took the liberty of 'exploring' your home while you were speaking with your dead friend.  We will be using this."  And he pulls a card outta his pocket.

My Red Eyes Black Dragon.

"THAT'S _MINE!_"  me and Kaiba yell at the same time.

I don't think so, Kaiba.  "_Excuse_ me?"

Kaiba ignores me.  "Where did you get that!?" he hisses.

Bakura smiles.  "Locked doors make me curious.  Expecting people to not break into your room is putting too much faith in human nature."

"That card is not yours to take!" growls Kaiba.  Well, it's not yours to take, either, Kaiba.

"A rather odd thing for you to say, I would think.  According to my host's memories, this card rightfully belongs to Yuugi Mutou now."

That shuts Kaiba up.

"As I was saying, we will be using this," he continues, waving the card, _my_ card, "and _this_."

He reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out a shiny gold round thing.

The Millennium Eye.  Last seen in Pegasus' eye socket.  Yuck.

Kaiba face goes totally blank.  "You are not sealing Joey's soul in a card."

"No?  What's the problem?  Poor little priest, does it bring back bad memories?"

His eyes narrow.  "Don't mock me!"

"It is the only way.  Do not trouble yourself, Priest, I will not be 'sealing' his soul.  Besides, the full power of the Eye cannot be used by its bearer without cost, and I am quite attached to both of my eyes.  The Eye is simply another source of power."

Kaiba looks at me.  It's up to him; I don't think this'll work either way.  "Fine."

"Good."  There's a pounding at the door.  "And it sounds like the Pharaoh has arrived with his little followers."

******************************************************************************


	25. Reunion

**Summary:**  Tragedy strikes.  Joey Wheeler is gone forever.  Or is he?  Joey POV.  Post Duelist Kingdom AU.  Will eventually be Seto/Joey shounen-ai.

**Author's Notes:**  Well, I thought I'd try writing a YuGiOh fic.  And it's still going.  And whoa, still going.  But it'll be over soon!

I think I'm starting to run out of ways to say thank you for reading this fic ^_^

Angel-Belle:  Yes, you may!  Though I'm not sure that's an original line...

JaguarKitty2006:  Who knows?  Bakura's keeping it a secret.

Jou-pup:  *shrugs* Maybe there's something wrong with Kaiba?

KeMu:  It's a line from some chapter way back when Joey visited Yami at the Game Shop.  I forget which chapter that was...

Llyxius:  Another fic?  Maybe after I recover from this one :P  Thanks for the Seto *munch munch*  Cannibal?  Who, me?

LukeSkywalker'sLady:  It might still be a Seto/Joey.  Actually, it probably is...  I think.  Drat, I should know by now!

The Immortal Duelist:  Yup ^_^  Though 24 chapters shouldn't count as 'first YGO fic' anymore, should it?

**Warnings:**  Character death (sort of), language, angst, eventual Seto/Joey.

**Disclaimers:**  I don't own YuGiOh or any other brand names you might come across.  No mud was harmed in the making of this fic.

**************************************************************************

**Being Dead Ain't Easy**

**Chapter Twenty-Five:  Reunion**

**************************************************************************

Kaiba opens the door and lets everybody in.  Tea, Tristan, and...  I look lower.  There he is.  Yuugi.  Yami Yuugi, I mean.  Tea's sorta hovering over him while Tristan goes and leans against a wall, glaring holes at Kaiba.

I wanna say something, but I'm pretty tired from all that talking I did before.

Kaiba ignores everyone but Yuugi.  "Mutou."

"Kaiba," he says back.  He frowns at all the bandages.  "You look terrible."  Yami Yuugi suddenly notices Yami Bakura.  "_You!_"

The other Egyptian smirks.  "Pharaoh."

Yami Yuugi shoots a nasty look at Kaiba.  "What is _he_ doing here!?" he hisses.

"I would think that'd be pretty obvious, Mutou.  I don't go around performing Egyptian rituals in my spare time, you know."

Yami glares at the other Bakura.  "I hope you know what you're doing, Kaiba.  This one cannot be trusted."  He looks around... for me, I guess.

"Um, Yami?" whispers Tea.  "What's going on?"

Kaiba blinks.  "You mean you don't know?"

Yami Yuugi coughs.  "Ah...  I didn't have enough time to explain, so I just said you invited me here for a private duel and that I would appreciate their emotional support."

"_You mean they don't know!?  _How am I supposed to-"

"Where's Joey?" Yami interrupts.

"Living room, but-"

"What kind of sick joke is this, you bastard!" Tristan explodes and gets in Kaiba's face.  "Are you going to kill us too!?"

"What?  Joey's here?  How, what...?"

"Joey!"  Yami Yuugi rushes into the living room, leaving Kaiba to deal with two really pissed off people and a shifty-eyed thief.  I don't blame him.

"Yo, Yami."  I try to sound better than I feel, drawing on what's left in me.  It works; kinda weird, but I'm feeling better already.

He walks up to me.  Frowns.  "You look... awful."

"I never woulda guessed."  I try real hard not to look at myself now.  Nothing I wanna see.

"The ritual must be done soon, Joey, whatever it may be."  Yami sits down beside me.  "What exactly does this ritual entail?  Kaiba was rather... vague."

I can see Kaiba leading everyone to another room, stumbling just a little.  I wonder what he wants to say that he doesn't want me to hear?  Or maybe he just wants to give me some privacy.

"Bakura says that we're gonna use a bit of everybody's energy or something and stick me in a card."

"But... seven people?"  Yami frowns.  "He doesn't need so much power simply to trap you in a card.  What is he going to do?"

I think it sounds fishy, too.  "I dunno.  He's gonna 'improvise'."

"That sounds rather ominous.  And dangerous."

Always nice to talk to somebody with some sense.  "You don't hafta go for it if ya don't want to.  Bakura's up to something and I don't want you guys to get hurt."  How am I gonna 'live' with myself if I'm okay but everybody else is... not?  Answer:  I can't.  "'Sides, I'm already dead.  Can't even move.  Just sneak out when Kaiba's not lookin'."

Yami Yuugi shakes his head.  "I won't abandon you, Joey."  He takes a deep breath.  "Joey, I... we... that is...  I respect you.  I'm sorry I didn't say so when you first came to me."

Okay...  "Uh, I respect ya, too."

Yami shakes his head slowly.  "I mean so much more than that, Joey.  I mean you are a loyal friend.  I mean..."  He stares off into space, trying to think of the words.  Yami comes back to the here and now, sighs.  "Yuugi would like to speak to you.  Know that his words are from both of us."

The Puzzle flashes and Yuugi takes over.  He blinks.  "Joey?"

I smile.  He can see me, finally.  About time.  "Hey, Yuugi."

"Joey!" he cries.  He leaps onto me and tries to hug me.  It's like he's trying to hug steam.  Yuugi freezes, but then he just sorta wraps his arms around where I should be.  I can't even pretend to hug him back.  He moves his legs so they're not in mine.  "I missed you," he whispers.

I know.  "I missed you too, Yuug'."  So why'd I hang out with Kaiba, instead?  Man, here I am callin' Kaiba a lousy human being, but I'm not doing much better than he is.

Yuugi sticks a hand into his jacket.  "Do you want your deck back?  Your dad gave it to me, but since you're still around..."  He stops, swallows.  "It's... um... missing a few cards."  He looks down.  "I'm sorry.  I know it means a lot to you."

Gee, I wonder where those cards went.  "It's okay, Yuug', you can keep the deck.  It's not like I need it anymore."  And if I wanna see those missing cards, I can always ask Kaiba and Bakura to flash 'em at me, the bastards.

Yuugi sits back down.  It's gonna hurt him so bad if I don't make it, and he's gonna hafta watch this time, too.

"You're the best friend I ever had, ya know that, right?  I'm gonna miss you."

Yuugi looks at me like I'm being weird.  "Don't talk like that, Joey!  Everything's going to work out, you'll see!"

Uh huh.  Yuugi's not that naïve.  "Sure it will."  Who's he trying to convince?

Yuugi nods.  "It will."  He got this intense look in his eyes, trying to make me _believe_.

I open my mouth, close it again.  When he looks at me like that...  Okay, Yuugi.  No saying words we don't need to say.  I mean, we don't need to say anything, right?  All I have to do is look in your eyes, and all you have to do is look in mine.

No goodbyes, 'cause this is gonna work.

"Wanna hang out after this is all over?  You and me and, well, everybody?  After school, I mean.  Maybe we can all go to Burger World or somethin'.  And maybe we can bring Moneybags, too.  He needs to eat."

"That'd be great!"  He breaks out into a smile and I feel like the best guy in the world.  How does Yuugi _do_ that?  I smile back.

And then I hear someone slam into a wall.

They're too far away and I can't see what's goin' on from the couch!  Another slam, and a groan.  Shit, is Kaiba beating up my friends!?  I try to get up.

"Joey, stay here!" whispers Yuugi.  He switches back to Yami and rushes off.  "What's going on!?" he yells.

Slam.

Shouting.

I'm not gonna just sit there and listen to this.  I put in some massive effort and end up falling on the living room floor.

Black out.  Don't know how long.

When I come to, I can still hear them fighting.

Bad idea, I know it's a bad idea.  I can feel it, _boy_ can I feel it, all woozy and up is down and inside out, but I'm not gonna let everybody kill each other.  I sorta float my way to where all the noise is as fast as I can.  Which is pretty damn slow.

I finally make it there, but I'm too dizzy to see what's going on.  Wait, okay, there we go.  The guy who's standing there not doing anything's probably Bakura, so the bunch o' bodies wrestling on the floor's Kaiba, Tristan, Tea, and Yami Yuugi.

_...What!?_

"I'LL KILL YOU!  I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!"

"Tristan, _stop!_"

"Kill him later!  We need him for Joey's ritual!"

Nobody's noticing me.  "WHAT THE HELL'S GOIN' ON HERE!?" I shout.

Yami Bakura smirks.  "The High Priest decided to tell your little friends what was going on.  He was foolish enough to also tell them that he was the cause of your little problem."  He looks me over.  "I suggest you rest.  This whole exercise is pointless if there is no more soul left to work with."

I ignore him.  I've got other things to worry about.  "EVERYBODY BREAK IT UP!"

"ENOUGH!"  A big wave of shadow power blasts out from the center of the mess and everyone's blown apart.  When I can see again, there's only one guy left standing.  "THIS IS NO TIME TO BE FIGHTING!" yells Yami Yuugi.

Yami Bakura gets up first, but doesn't say anything.  He's just... watching with a smile on his face, like this is all fun and games.

Tea and Tristan get up, too.  Tea's lookin' at him like he's a stranger.

Tristan's knuckles are bloody.

And Kaiba's not getting up.

**************************************************************************


	26. Power Outage

**Summary:**  Tragedy strikes.  Joey Wheeler is gone forever.  Or is he?  Joey POV.  Post Duelist Kingdom AU.  Will eventually be Seto/Joey shounen-ai.

**Author's Notes:**  Well, I thought I'd try writing a YuGiOh fic.  And it's still going.  And whoa, still going.  But it'll be over soon!

600 re... views...  *gurgles* *passes out at keyboard*

Kimmie:  Thanks for the salts.  I needed that ^_^

LukeSkywalker'sLady:  I think Kaiba's too bashed up to be shocked anymore, poor guy...

Sheron:  Glad you enjoyed it ^_^  As for writing more YGO, well, I need to get hit by inspiration first!

star fire:  I didn't know that.  I'm just making it all up ^_^;;

**Warnings:**  Character death (sort of), language, angst, eventual Seto/Joey.

**Disclaimers:**  I don't own YuGiOh or any other brand names you might come across.  No vampires were harmed in the making of this fic.

**************************************************************************

**Being Dead Ain't Easy**

**Chapter Twenty-Six:  Power Outage**

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This is not good.  This is _so_ not good.  Is he dead?  Say he's not dead!  I mean, he's _Kaiba_, he can't be dead.  He took on a crazy bomber shooter guy with nothing but a briefcase and _won!_  With my help, yeah, but still!  No way can he be...

He groans.  He's still alive.  Yami Yuugi tries to give him a hand up but Kaiba smacks it away.  After a sec, he drags himself back up with some help from the wall.

I try to get closer to see how he is, but _WHAM_ I lose it again.

I hear Kaiba cry out and his body hits the floor.

When I know where I am again, the first thing I see is Yami looking down at me, all worried.  "Don't try to move or talk, Joey."

Wasn't planning to.  I feel _bad_.

Yami Bakura decides to say something.  "As much as I hate to agree with the Pharaoh, he's right.  Another twitch from you and you may very well kill the Priest before the ritual even begins."

Huh?  What?  _I'm_ killing _him?_

"What do you mean by that?" demands Yami.

"Your memory is atrocious," sneers Yami Bakura.  "The bond between the two is even stronger than I suspected.  As the dog weakens, he draws greater and greater amounts of energy from our comatose Priest.  Because of his current, rather poor, physical condition, Seto Kaiba is no longer able to resist."  He frowns.  "Rather unfortunate.  He won't be able to fulfill his end of our agreement if he dies."

Tristan's standing there, looking kinda shocky.  "I...  I swear I didn't hit him that hard.  I thought he'd... block, or dodge, or... something."  He looks down at his bloody hands and then around the room, trying to see me.  "I wouldn't kill the bastard if we needed him to save you, Joey.  I wouldn't do that to you, I swear!"

I know, Tristan, I know.  I open my mouth...

Yami Bakura catches me at it.  "Be silent, you stupid boy!  Do you _want_ to kill the Priest along with yourself!?"

No.  No, I don't.  So no talking.  But if I don't say anything, then Bakura's in charge!  Kaiba's the only other guy who sorta knows what's going on, but he's not gonna be sayin' anything.

Tea rushes over to help Kaiba while everybody else is trying to help me.  I slowly turn my head so I can watch.  I do it real slow so I don't get dizzy or suck any more juice outta Kaiba.  Tea's messing with his clothes.  She gasps at the blood.  "What happened!?  Tristan didn't do _this!_"

She lifts his shirt up.

No wonder he didn't block or dodge or anything.  Kaiba should be in the hospital, the stupid prick!  It's easy to forget how hurt he is, but I shoulda _known!_  I was _there_, for cryin' out loud, but he acts like there's nothing wrong with him!  Okay, the big ugly spot's probably where Tristan socked him a buncha times, but the rest...

Morrison got too damn close, and, from the looks of it, Kaiba sucks at first aid.  I'm surprised he's still breathing.  Some bandages stuck on here and there, and a dark shirt so nobody can see what he didn't bother to clean up.  Tea looks like she's gonna be sick.

Yami Yuugi stares at Kaiba, then turns back to me.  "What happened to him, Joey?"

Right, nobody knows what happened at Kaiba Corp.  Was that today?  I know it was, but it sure doesn't feel like it.

"We don't have time for this, Pharaoh!"  Yami Bakura breaks in.  "We must begin the ritual.  Come!"  He walks outta the room.

Yami glares at him, but picks me up.  Tries to pick me up.  It's not working.  He's not Kaiba, and Kaiba's not pickin' anyone up anytime soon.

This is just about the worst time for something like this to happen.  I can't move, and I'm not even gonna _try_ to move.  I might kill Kaiba by accident, and if I'm gonna do that, I want it to be on purpose.

He growls, thinks up a plan.  "Tristan, pick up Kaiba and follow Bakura."

Tristan stares at Kaiba and gets a weird look on his face.  "But..."

"_You_ beat him up, so _you_ carry him!  Unless you want Tea to lift someone heavier than she is?  Or do you think _I_ should do it?  Perhaps I can carry Joey in one arm and Kaiba in the other."

Tea gets up and puts her hands on her hips.  "Well?  I will if you won't," she says.  She looks down at Kaiba.  Swallows.  "He... won't be getting up by himself."

He scowls but does it.  None too gently, either.  Ouch.

Tea watches them go.  "Yami, what should I...?"

Yami's still thinking.  "Make sure Bakura doesn't kill them while Tristan's hands are full."  He looks at her.  "Be careful."

She bites her lip.  "What about... Joey?"

"I'll take care of him."

After Tea's gone, Yami splits into two.  It's... weird.

The solid Yuugi blinks.  "Yami, what are you doing?"

"I can carry Joey while I am in spirit form."  Oh, I get it.  Yami Bakura could hit me and stuff when he was in spirit form, so I guess Yami Yuugi can carry me when he is, too.

Yuugi's eyes go wide.  "I...  I can't see him anymore!  Where's Joey!?"

"Don't worry, he's still here!" Yami says quickly.  "You can't see him now because I am not deliberately using my power to help you see.  With Kaiba in that condition, I think I need to save as much of mine as possible for this ritual of Bakura's."

He thinks, nods.  "Alright, I understand."  Yuugi looks where I'm supposed to be.  "Everything will be okay, Joey.  Don't worry!"

Kinda hard not to, what with me sorta dying and Kaiba _really_ dying, but I'll give it a shot.

Yami scoops me up in his arms and carries me out with Yuugi following.  Everybody's waiting by the front door.

I hear someone run down the stairs.  "When did all you guys get here?"  It's Mokuba.  "What's hap – OH MY GOD!  BIG BROTHER!"  He rushes over to Kaiba and shakes him.  "Big brother!  Seto!  SETO!"  Kaiba just lies there in Tristan's arms, like he's sleeping.

Yami Bakura scoops up the candles and stuff and heads for the front door, but Mokuba blocks him.  "What did you do to him, you creep!?"

Yuugi tries to explain.  "Mokuba, your brother-"

"He did it to himself," interrupts Yami Bakura.  "Now get out of my way.  I have a ritual to perform."  He starts to elbow the kid outta his way, but changes his mind.  "Actually, perhaps you should come along.  You wish to take care of your elder brother, do you not?"

"Yeah, and you guys aren't going anywhere until somebody tells me what's going on!"

He smirks.  "How loyal.  As for what's going on, I need to perform a ritual that may possibly save the dog's soul and your brother's life.  Make yourself useful and provide us with some transportation."

Mokuba does a Kaiba glare.  "Why?"

"Because we will need to return to the place where Joey Wheeler died."

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	27. Are We There Yet?

**Summary:**  Tragedy strikes.  Joey Wheeler is gone forever.  Or is he?  Joey POV.  Post Duelist Kingdom AU.  Will eventually be Seto/Joey shounen-ai.

**Author's Notes:**  Well, I thought I'd try writing a YuGiOh fic.  And it's still going.  And whoa, still going.  But it'll be over soon!

Thanks everybody!  I was unconscious last time and forgot to give away these gifts *hands out strands of Bakura's hair*  Enjoy ^_^

Andross:  What Japanese text thingie???  I don't see anything wrong...  Is it a formatting thing?  A spelling thing?  Can someone tell me?

Kimmie:  If only I could write so much for assignments...  *blink*  This sounds like a dumb question, but what's a claimer?

LukeSkywalker'sLady:  Calligraphy looks so cool.  I wish I could do my letters like that ^_^

MaidenOTM:  Yeah, those ones were a bit short, weren't they?  I'll try to do better!

Nieni Woodland:  *blinks*  Me too?  But we're not even dating yet ^_^

Sheron:  Yes, I am woman, hear me roar.

**Warnings:**  Character death (sort of), language, angst, eventual Seto/Joey.

**Disclaimers:**  I don't own YuGiOh or any other brand names you might come across.  No raincoats were harmed in the making of this fic.

**************************************************************************

**Being Dead Ain't Easy**

**Chapter Twenty-Seven:  Are We There Yet?**

**************************************************************************

Mokuba gets outta the way pretty fast once he knows just how bad everything is.  He scares up a limo for us and even has the street we'll need sealed off so we don't get hit by cars in the middle of the ritual.  We all get into our ride and the limo driver hits the gas.  If he thinks it's kinda odd to be driving two invisible guys, one kid, and five teens, one of 'em his unconscious boss, to some street in the middle of the night, in pouring rain, he's not sayin' anything.  Whadda pro.

"Can't we take Seto to the hospital first?" Mokuba pleads from his spot next to his brother.  Tristan's not holding him anymore.  "He's really hurt..."

Yami Bakura snorts.  "Of course not.  We need him."

Yuugi looks at Yami for a second opinion.  Yami shakes his head.  "I'm sorry, but we can't.  We must do something about the draining of his life energy before we can heal his body."

Yuugi sighs.  "I'm really sorry, Mokuba.  We have to fix Joey first so he's not using your brother's energy anymore."

I'm almost expecting Kaiba to say something about dogs and 'fixing', but no, he just lies there on the seat, not moving.  Sorta like what I'm doing, except I'm lying on Yami's lap so I don't fall through the bottom of the car.  Man, we must be the sorriest-lookin' guys on the planet.

Mokuba doesn't look happy.  "We have to go to the hospital right after."  He looks at Yami Bakura.  "Please do the ritual really fast, okay?"

"Do not worry, boy, I have every intention of keeping the Priest alive.  And his pet ghost more or less intact."

It's quiet for a minute.

"Is... is Joey really here?" Tristan asks.

"Yes, you blind idiot!  He's right there!"  Yami Bakura points at Yami and me.

Tea, Tristan, and Mokuba all look at the empty seat in the limo.

He smirks.  "Oh, my mistake, I think we left them back at the mansion."

Haha, very funny.  If you make 'em turn back, I'll... I'll...  Damn.

Yami Yuugi growls.  "_You..._"  He didn't find it too funny, either.

Yuugi shoots a look at Yami Bakura.  "He's just joking, guys.  Yami and Joey are here with us."  He suddenly looks nervous.  "Joey's here, right, Yami?"

Yami rolls his eyes.  "Yes, he's here with me, Yuugi.  Though not at his best."

Yeah, no kidding.  I feel like I'm leaving bits of me in the air, and I can't even scream about it 'cause I can't do anything without killing me or Kaiba.  I just have to lie there and take it.  I hate this.  I really really hate this.

Yami must've seen the look in my eyes, 'cause he sorta fidgets, then pats me on the shoulder.  "It will be alright, Joey.  If anything goes wrong, I will have Bakura's head."

Thanks.  I appreciate the thought, but...  ya know what?  I think Kaiba's better at this 'comforting' thing than Yami is.  Maybe it's 'cause he has a little brother, but when Seto says he's gonna take care of everything, it makes me feel better.

...What am I thinking!?  Kaiba's messed up freakiness must be contagious or something!  I better stop thinking about him before it spreads to the rest of my brain.

Tristan saves the day.  "Joey?  Can you hear me, buddy?"

Yeah, I can.  I look up at Yami.

Yami looks at me, looks at Yuugi.  "Yes, he can."

Yuugi blinks.  "Um, Joey says yes."

Yami Bakura's chuckling at us, but we ignore him.  Mokuba's listening too, but he just takes care of Seto and tries to give us some privacy.

Tea looks all excited.  "So Joey can talk through you, Yuugi?  That's great!"

"Um..."  Yuugi looks at Yami for help.

"Just say yes," decides Yami.  "It'll make them feel better."

"Uh...  Yes?"

Tristan grabs Yuugi by the shoulders.  "Joey, I'm so, so sorry!" he apologizes to Yuugi, uh, me.  "I know I messed everything up when I hit Kaiba, but I...  I wasn't thinking.  I'm really sorry."

It's okay, pal.  Kaiba's just too much sometimes.  If I was solid, I'd beat him up myself.  Or try to, anyway.  You punched him for me, and that's kinda cool.  You just picked a really bad time to do it, that's all.

Yuugi's got a 'what should I say?' look on his face.

Yami looks into my eyes and tries to figure out what I want to say.  "Uh...  Joey says he forgives him?"  Eh, close enough.

Yuugi blinks, translates.  "Um...  Joey says it's okay because he would've done the same thing if he could."

Tristan relaxes and looks like he feels a little better.  "So...  it's okay?  Everything's cool?"

Yuugi smiles.  "Everything's cool."  He tries to say it the way I would.  Yuugi, you're the best.

He gives Yuugi a big hug, pretending the little guy's me.  It's a bit of a problem, 'cause Yuugi's not me and he's getting crushed.  And that puzzle must be really digging into him.  Yami looks like he wants to go help him, but he's too busy holding me.

Tea coughs.  "Tristan, Yuugi can't breathe."

He lets Yuugi go and laughs a little.  "Sorry."  He looks at Tea.  "Do you want to say something to Joey?"

She thinks about it.  "Yeah.  Just a little thing."  She looks at Yuugi.  "Joey, I want you to know that, no matter what happens, you'll always be in our hearts.  We'll always be with you, and you'll always be with us.  No matter what."  She looks away.  "That's it."

...Thanks, Tea.  I'll remember that.

Tristan nods.  "I feel the same way, Joey."

Yuugi looks at where he thinks I am.  He gets it right.  "You're the greatest friend in the world, Joey!"  And he smiles.  "The best."

"And I feel the same way," finishes Yami.

I...  Thanks.  I love you guys.

Yami Bakura looks like he wants to break a window and leap out.  I guess he doesn't like how close we all are.

The limo slows, stops.  "Mr. Kaiba, we're here."

Mr. Kaiba?  Is Kaiba... no, he's still out cold.  The driver's talking to Mokuba.  It's hard to think of Mokuba as a 'Mr. Kaiba', though.  I hear 'Kaiba', and I think 'jerk'.  Kaiba, jerk.  Jerk, Kaiba.  See?  Wait, that sounds kinda wrong, but you know what I mean, right?

We all get outta the limo and into the rain.  Yami's carrying me and Tristan's carrying Kaiba again.  Yami Bakura's still got his supplies.

He takes a look around.  There aren't any houses, and the stores are all closed.  Ya know, Yami Bakura looks kinda funny with his hair wet.  "Brat, where exactly did Wheeler die?  Do you remember?"

"I'm not a brat!" argues Mokuba.  "Stop calling me that!"

"_Boy_, then!"

Mokuba glares at him, but then he looks around.  He walks over to the newest looking lamppost, remembering.  "We crashed here."

I remember too...

_I start runnin' after the limo.  Doesn't take too long to catch up 'cause it suddenly starts zigzagging all over the street, crashes into a lamppost, and explodes.  Whole thing's covered in flames_

He slowly walks a few steps away from it.  "When I woke up, I was... here."

_Kaiba rolls outta the ex-limo with his brother in his arms.  He staggers a bit. He's in bad shape.  Mokuba's passed out, but he's not hurt too bad_

His big brother got him out.  And then...

He walks two more steps.  "Big brother and Joey were... here," he whispers.

_Ya know, it's kinda nice havin' him hold me like this.  He's soakin' wet and I am, too, but he's… warm.  I must be goin' into shock or something_

I died here.

Mokuba shakes a little.  "I..."  He takes a few deep breaths.  "I'm okay now."  He looks at Yami Bakura with wide kiddie eyes.  "Can we do the ritual?  Please?"

Our Master of Rituals nods.  "Brat, get that driver to move the vehicle down another block.  I don't want it in the way."  Mokuba sighs and talks to the limo driver.  Yami Bakura looks at us.  "Everyone gather where the boy was standing."

We all sorta stand around _that spot_.  Mokuba comes back and stands with us.  Okay, now what?

Yami Bakura puts his stuff on the ground and pulls a card outta his deck.  I have no idea what it is, but it makes a giant dome around us.  Wow.

Everybody's startled, but Yami gets over it first.  "What are you up to now!?" growls Yami Yuugi.

The other guy blinks.  "This way the candles won't get wet."

And we can't get away, either.  Handy.

******************************************************************************


	28. No Pain, No Gain

**Summary:**  Tragedy strikes.  Joey Wheeler is gone forever.  Or is he?  Joey POV.  Post Duelist Kingdom AU.  Will eventually be Seto/Joey shounen-ai.

**Author's Notes:**  Well, I thought I'd try writing a YuGiOh fic.  And it's still going.  And whoa, still going.  But it'll be over soon!

Can't... believe... over 700 reviews...  *digs into freezer, pulls out vanilla ice cream, and gives a scoop to every single reviewer who wants some*

Andross:  Have you checked your computer settings?  Take a look at the suggestion in the Chap27 review by Llyxius.  Or it could be the browser you're using, I don't know.  I write in Word and save as html.  Maybe there's some tags that's messing it up or something.

JKJ:  I think that if Ryou and Bakura were in the same body, and if Ryou knew Joey was there, then he would be able to see him.

Kimmie:  It's a magic card that draws on the power of the Shadow Realm, granted physical substance by the Millennium Ring.  Or something like that...  I think I'll do a claimer for the last chapter!

Kyra Windwood:  If he became a spirit like Yami or something, then flying, yes, being seen, no.  I think Yami could fly if he actually bothered to try it ^_^

ShadowSpirit:  3 and a half hours... and to think I originally intended this thing to be a five-parter or less...

Cliffies are terrible, I know, but I like saving the rest for tomorrow.  I need the time to think about what I'm going to write.

**Warnings:**  Character death (sort of), language, angst, eventual Seto/Joey.

**Disclaimers:**  I don't own YuGiOh or any other brand names you might come across.  No Tristans were seriously harmed in the making of this fic.

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**Being Dead Ain't Easy**

**Chapter Twenty-Eight:  No Pain, No Gain**

**************************************************************************

We all move outta the way and watch as Yami Bakura sets up.  He sticks a birthday candle on the road, wraps the bottom part with tape so it stays up, and lights it.  He keeps doing that until he's got a great big flaming pentagram that stretches from one end of the dome to the other.  _That spot's_ right in the middle.  Once he's done, he stands back and looks at it, nods.  "This will do.  Pharaoh, put Wheeler in the center.  Don't knock over my candles."  Yami Bakura sneers at Kaiba, still lying in Tristan's arms.  "Wake the Priest up."

Yami's carrying me and I'm pointing the wrong way to see, but I hear Tristan grumble, "Wake up, you rich bastard."  And a slap.

"DON'T HIT BIG BROTHER!" yells Mokuba.  I guess he does something nasty to Tristan, 'cause he screams in pain.

Tea cries out.  "Tristan, are you okay?  Mokuba, he's just trying to help!"

"Guys!  He's waking up!"  That's Yuugi.

I hear somebody moan.  A pause, a crunch, and then another scream from Tristan.  "And that's just a taste of what I'm going to do to you," hisses a voice I know way too well.

Sounds like Kaiba's awake and his usual nasty self.

There's lotsa yelling going on, but Yami puts me down first before he rushes away to break it up.  Or join in.  Whatever.  I just stare up at the domed ceiling.  I can sorta see the rain through it.  This is... kinda scary, lyin' in the same spot where I died, not knowing if I'm gonna make it or not.

After a while, everyone calms down a little.  "What is Mokuba doing here!?  I thought we had an agreement, Bakura!" Kaiba growls.

A snort from Yami Bakura.  "You're too weak, Priest.  I will need his energies as well as what's left of your own."

"I told you to keep my little brother out of this!"

"If the ritual fails because of your foolishness, both you and your dog will lose your souls!  Your dear little brother will be left all alone..."  I can hear the smile in his voice.  "It is, of course, your choice."

Let Yami Bakura suck the energy outta your little brother, maybe killing him, or keep him out of it, screw up the ritual, and not be around to stop Bakura from doing whatever he wants.  Some choice.

"If you hurt him, I'll kill you."

"He will not come to any harm.  I give you my word."

"Don't trust him, Kaiba," says Yami.  Yuugi says the same thing so Kaiba can hear.

"I have no choice, Yuugi.  How much is your word worth, Bakura?"

He laughs.  "As much as I wish it to."

Maybe we should just call this whole thing off... but if we don't do it, Kaiba's finished and so am I.

"Big brother, let me do this.  I'll be okay!  If I don't help and it goes wrong, it'll be all my fault!"  A beat.  "I... I don't want you and Joey to...  you know, get hurt or anything.  You're my big brother."

"Mokuba..." he says quietly.

"I'm gonna help you and you can't stop me!"

And that's that.  Kaiba _can't_ stop him.

"...If it starts hurting or anything, you have to stop, alright?  Promise me, Mokuba!"  Stop what?  We don't even know what Yami Bakura's gonna do!

"I promise!" he says way too fast.  If Mokuba's anything like I think he is, he's just gonna grit his teeth and take it.  Seto can't do anything about it.

"If you're all done blathering on, we need to begin.  Pharaoh, merge with your host and stand over there.  Priest, there.  Tall boy, there.  Girl, there.  Brat, stand with the Priest."

From my spot on the ground, I can see Kaiba and Mokuba standing just inside one of the pentagram points.  Well, Kaiba's not really standing, he's leaning on the kid.

He notices me looking at him.  "You look like crap, Wheeler."

Right back at cha, Kaiba, but I can't do anything but blink at him.  He can move and I can't.  Not fair.

Yami Bakura looms over me.  "This ritual will probably be excruciatingly painful," he says to me.  "Do try to keep still; I don't want the Priest to lose consciousness because of your squirming."  He walks outta my view.

I'll, uh, try to keep that in mind, Bakura.  Now I'm even _more_ nervous, but it's not like we can all back out now.  It's not just about me anymore.

"If anyone wishes to say something, now is the time.  There _must_ be no interruptions once we start."

Nobody says anything for a while.

Tristan talks first.  "What exactly are you going to do?"

"You wouldn't understand, mortal.  All you need to know is that I'll need your energy."

"You're going to take the energy from us, right?" asks Tea.  "What'll that be like?"

"A momentary weakness and nothing more.  Any more idiotic questions?"

"Those were reasonable questions," says Yami Yuugi.  "No tricks, Bakura.  I'm watching you."

A pause.  "Do you think I would be so bold as to try something while under your ever-watchful gaze, Pharaoh?  Let us begin."

After a beat, Yami Bakura starts to chant.  He starts off pretty quiet, but soon he's almost shouting.  It's got a good rhythm to it, one you could dance to.  Is it Egyptian?  Must be.  You speak ancient Egyptian to do ancient Egyptian rituals, right?  I wonder what he's saying?

I lie there and listen to him chant.

Ya know, this is kinda boring.  I stare at the dinky little striped birthday candles.  I wonder if Mokuba sticks those things on Kaiba's birthday cakes?  I wanna see that someday.

Kaiba looks at his watch.  Yami Bakura's been chanting for a while.  Is he gonna get a sore throat?  He said the whole thing would take at least an hour, I think.  Am I even gonna last that long?

The chanting goes on and on, but now I smell something burning, too.

Hang on.

I can't smell things; I remember trying to before.  What's going on?

Yami Bakura leans over me, still chanting, and drops a flaming bloody trench coat through my stomach.

FUCK!   HOT!   HOT!

He glares at me and keeps chanting.

No moving.  Damn.  Ow.  Shit, it's _hot_.  It's on fucking fire!  How the hell am I supposed to not move!?

Yami Bakura walks back to wherever the hell he came from, chanting.

It feels like he poured boiling oil on me.  Don't move.  Don't move.  Don't mess this up.

Focus on something else.  Kaiba.

Seto's trying to not look worried.  Mokuba just looks kinda confused.  To him, it must look like Yami Bakura dropped a burning coat on an empty spot on the road.

Damn, this thing is _hot_.  The flames are shooting higher and higher.  Don't panic, don't panic, ghosts can't catch fire.  The trench coat's just some kinda burning sacrifice thing, don't move, it's not really hurting me, it's not hurting me, it's not hurting...

HOLY SHIT I'M ON FIRE!

Yami Bakura comes back and walks in a circle around me, still chanting, pinning me down with his eyes.  '_Do not move or else!'_ his eyes say.

He's tryin' to kill me!  _You_ try staying still while you're on fucking _fire_, Bakura!  I'm doin' a fuckin' impression of a fucking human log!  Hotter and hotter and it burns and I think I'm crying it burns, I can't, it _hurts_...!

I start screaming and I can't stop.

"JOEY!"  I think Seto stumbles to me, but Mokuba holds him back.  He drops on his hands and knees, gasping.

Yami Bakura's standing over me the crazy pyro make it stop _make it stop...!_

He watches me, waiting for something.

...It's not hurting so much anymore.  Feels like there's nothing left to hurt.  Can't think, can't feel.  All burnt out.

He holds up the Red Eyes Black Dragon.

I see... mist?  smoke?  come outta him and Seto and Mokuba and maybe everybody else, too, and it all goes into the card.

"Priest, come!"

Seto's taking too long so Yami Bakura drags him over.  The second he's by my side, Seto drops back down.  Yami Bakura grabs the guy's arm and sticks the glowing card in his hand.  He makes Seto hold it over me.  "Release the card when I tell you to do so.  Do you understand?"

Seto gives a jerky nod.

Yami Bakura starts chanting again and raises the Millennium Eye over his head.  It's staring at me.  It's not moving, but _it's staring at me_...

There's a white flash and everything's just totally blank and empty and there's nothing and I'm lost

"Drop it, Priest!"

It all goes black.

******************************************************************************


	29. Something Completely Different

**Summary:**  Tragedy strikes.  Joey Wheeler is gone forever.  Or is he?  Joey POV.  Post Duelist Kingdom AU.  Will eventually be Seto/Joey shounen-ai.

**Author's Notes:**  Well, I thought I'd try writing a YuGiOh fic.  And it's still going.  And whoa, still going.  But it'll be over soon!

Wow, people still like this fic!  I was kinda worried that you'd all be bored by now after so many chapters.  Thank you ^_^

Cecilia:  Mmmm, I love chocolate.  Thanks!

Darkness Rising:  I don't think a lemon is in the cards, sorry...  Maybe I'll write an actual SetoxJoey(Jou) fic someday *shrugs*

Hine no Chikyuu:  Ooooh, plushie of my fav monster!  Thank you ^_^

Kyra Windwood:  Yup, want some?

LukeSkywalker'sLady:  Neat.  I like it!

tenshimagic:  Yes, this is my first YGO story, though you can also think of it as my 29th...  I'm not a professional writer, but thanks for thinking I might actually be one!

Tuulikki:  Tristan won't have any scars, so it's all good...

The Immortal Duelist:  Have some ice cream!  *puts a scoop in a tiny bowl* And go ahead and use the disclaimer thing ^_^

This one's... strange.  Very strange.  It will be explained later, promise!

**Warnings:**  Character death (sort of), language, angst, eventual Seto/Joey.

**Disclaimers:**  I don't own YuGiOh or any other brand names you might come across.  No drugs were taken in the making of this fic.

**************************************************************************

**Being Dead Ain't Easy**

**Chapter Twenty-Nine:  Something Completely Different**

**************************************************************************

I wake up on Kaiba's bed.

Did he carry me here?  Did it work?

I feel great, so I get up.  No dizziness.  Everything's good.  I look around.  Same bed, same desk, same computer, same chair, same everything.  No Seto Kaiba.  No anybody.

If he's not here waiting for me to wake up so he can say something Kaiba-y, then there's something wrong with Mokuba.  Or Kaiba's dead.

Maybe everybody's dead.  No way would they just leave me to wake up by myself.

What the fuck did Yami Bakura do!?

"KAIBA!  GUYS!  _ANYBODY!_" I shout.  My voice sounds kinda like an echo, like it's coming from everywhere at once.  Weird.

I hear nothing back.

Okay, I can't just stand around here all day.  I run through the bedroom door.

And end up bashing my nose on the wood.

I sorta reel back with my hands over my nose and land on my butt.  It's not broken, but it _hurts!_  I check my hands for blood.  They're clean.  Solid, too.

No more walking through doors.  I'll party later.

I get back up and put my hand on the doorknob and turn it.  I don't even hafta focus to make it move.  Am I alive?  Feels like it.

A tug, and the door opens just like that.  Just like a normal door.

But what I'm seein' on the other side...

Holy fucking shit.

This ain't home.

I see stairs.  Lots and lotsa stairs.  Stairs going everywhere: up and down and side to side and round and round and inside out.  Smack into walls, leading to doors in the way too high ceiling, floating in the air, spinning around like tops.  Crazy.

I spin around.  Kaiba's bedroom.  Still there.

I look back.  Nightmare.

Kaiba's room is lookin' real nice right now so I run back in there and slam the door.  Take a breath, calm down, run up to the window, get the curtains outta the way, and look outside.

Grey.  Not rainy or snowy day grey, but flat out there's-nothin'-out-there grey.

I slam my elbow into the window, but... there's no window.  No glass.  I can leap out if I want.

So what should I do?  I can take a flyin' leap out into some grey stuff to somewhere I can't see, or I can... take the stairs.

Stairs it is.

I dig into the dresser drawers for anything I can use.  There's clothes and underwear and stuff, so I can go out and face the world looking classy.  Not exactly what I'm going for, here, but I take some stuff anyway.  The ugly red shirt I found at the bottom might be good for something, ya never know.  I check the closet, too, but I don't find anything I want.

I open the door again and the freaky stairs are still there.  Time to start walking, but there's lotsa stuff moving around.  What if I get lost?

The red shirt might be good for something.  I tear a strip off the bottom, rip a piece of cloth from it, and drop the little bit on the floor.  Take a buncha steps, drop some more shreds of Kaiba's wardrobe.  I can find my way back if I run out.

I go down some stairs, up some more stairs, and I swear I was sometimes upside down on some of the weirder ones.  I still haven't reached a door yet and I'm starting to think that maybe this is some kinda messed up dream.  Maybe there was no ritual.  Maybe I never died in the first place.

I've gone through the red shirt already and I'm working my way through a green one when I think I hear somebody yell.  It's pretty faint.

I don't see anybody, but I shout anyway.  "YO!  SOMEBODY OUT THERE!?"

"JOEY!"  the voice shouts back.  It sounds closer, but I don't know who it is.  "WHERE ARE YOU, YOU DUMB MUTT!?"

It's Seto - I mean, Kaiba – I mean... screw it, it's _him!_  "KAIBA!  OVER HERE!"  Wherever 'here' is.  I wave the green shirt over my head.  "OVER HERE!"  I'm not alone anymore!

A pause.  "I CAN'T FIND YOU!  WHERE!?"

Okay, this is gonna be a problem.  It's like a maze in here.  Seto can't see me, I can't see Seto.  What the hell are we gonna do?

JOEY, ARE YOU ALRIGHT!?"

He's getting closer.  I can feel it.

Hang on.  I can feel it?

"STAY PUT, KAIBA!" I yell.  I close my eyes and slowly spin around.  I feel a sorta rush when I'm pointing the right way and I just _know_.  I pound up the stairs.  "I'M COMING!"

He's running to me too, I know it.  The guy just can't take orders.  Can he feel me, too?

I look from side to side as I run.  I know he's around here somewhere.  I can hear him getting closer and closer.

We both stop at the same time.  I know he's here, it feels like I'm right on top of him, but I don't see Seto anywhere.

"Joey?"

"Seto?"

"Where are you?"

"I'm right here.  What about you?"

"I'm... right here, too."

Don't tell me he's gone invisible.  "Yeah, where?"

"I'm on the stairs.  There's a floating door to my right next to a spiral staircase that leads down into a pit."

"Okay."  I look around.  "That stuff's on my left.  But the pit's in the ceiling."  What's going on, here?

...These stairs can go upside down.

I stick my head over the side and look under the stairs.  No way.  What kinda crazy world is this!?

"Seto?"

Upside down Kaiba spins around and sees me.  "Joey," he whispers.  He lunges, grabs me by the arm, and drags me down.  Up.  The world flips on me.

He looks great.  No bandages, no bags under his eyes, no blood.  "Seto."  The one and only Seto Kaiba.  I want to...  I dunno what I wanna do.  He's the only thing I can count on in this screwy place.

Seto's still holding my arm and he's not letting go.  He latches onto my other arm.  He gets this intense look in his eyes and I drop the shirts I was carrying.  He's shaking and so am I.

He loses it and gives me the hug to end all hugs.  We drop right there on the steps.  I couldn't get away even if I wanted to.

Seto buries his face in my hair.  "You... stupid... chi..." he manages to gasp out.  He gives up on the rest and just holds me even tighter.  It takes some wiggling around to get my arms free so I can hug him back.  I can't say anything at all.  I'm glad to see him, so glad...  He's holding me so close I think I'm getting funny little patterns on my face where his trench coat is pressing into my skin.  I don't mind.

We stay like that for a while until we're both under control.  Kaiba pulls away first.  "So where are we?" he asks me.

You're asking me?  I get outta his arms.  "I dunno.  I woke up in your bedroom, opened the door, and saw _this._  What happened to you?"

"I woke up in some sort of fog, walked until I saw a door, opened it, and... felt... you.  I was yelling your name for what felt like hours."  He glares at me.  "You took your time answering me."

So it's my fault now?  I shove him.  "Well excuuuse me, I couldn't hear ya!  You coulda yelled louder, ya know!"

"My throat was getting sore!" he snarls.

We glare at each other.

This is stupid.  I know it and he knows it.  "Wanna see the room I woke up in?"

He nods and gets up.  "Show me."  He gives me a hand up.

We go back to my side of the stairs and follow the bits of shirt that he says are way too ugly to be his all the way back to the bedroom.  I sit on the bed while Kaiba checks things out.  He shakes his head.  "It looks very similar, but this is not my room.  All my documents, binders, and paperwork are missing."

"I sorta figured this wasn't your room when I looked out the window," I say.  "So what now?"

"Simple.  We find a way back."

"Just like that."

"Just like that.  I have a... feeling... that the doors are the key."  He sorta smiles at me.  "Surprisingly enough, I think you had the right idea earlier."  He lifts up another ugly shirt.  "We can use these to mark each staircase we explore.  When one of us finds one that leads to a door, we'll memorize what colour shirt we used, and then we'll signal each other."

"How?"

Seto stares at me, thinking.  I feel a sorta tingle in the back of my head.

That's it!

I concentrate on him and try to feel the same thing I felt when I was looking for him before, but this time I try to _send out_.

He jumps.  Glares.  "What did you just do, chihuahua?"

I grin.  "Signaled ya."

He glares at me some more, but then he takes a deep breath...

...And a shock runs right up my spine and I twitch off the bed.  "YOU _BASTARD!_" I yell.  "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR!?"

The prick smirks at me.  "That will be my signal.  Don't worry, I'll be more gentle next time."

"You'd better!  It's no good if ya make me fall off the stairs!"

He laughs at me.

Crazy freak.

After we're done arguing, we split up and get to work checking out where all the stairs go.  Most of 'em are dead ends, so we don't end up twitching all the time from the other guy's 'signals'.  Gentle, my ass.

We meet up again when we're done and check out what's behind every door.  We can step through the doors and come back out no matter what's on the other side, but we only tried that the first couple of times.  Ever step out into space?  It's totally nutso.

Door Number One:  Total blackness.

Door Number Two:  Lava pit.

Door Number Three:  Grey.  Where Seto woke up.

Door Number Four:  Room with seven more doors.  We'll save that for later, maybe.

Door Number Five:  Drooling, snarling monsters.  We closed _that_ door mighty fast.

Door Number Six:  The bedroom where I woke up.

Seto opens the last door and we look at what's inside.

It's the view from the inside of a dome, like if you were lyin' on your back.  You can see the rain through it.  We can hear Yami Bakura laughing his head off.  I'm guessing everybody's in some serious trouble.  Whadda ya know, Kaiba was right about the doors being the way out.

This is it.  "Kaiba."

He nods.  "Let's go."

We're gonna kick some Bakura ass.

******************************************************************************


	30. I Wish We Never Woke Up

**Summary:**  Tragedy strikes.  Joey Wheeler is gone forever.  Or is he?  Joey POV.  Post Duelist Kingdom AU.  Will eventually be Seto/Joey shounen-ai.

**Author's Notes:**  Well, I thought I'd try writing a YuGiOh fic.  And it's still going.  And whoa, still going.  But it'll be over soon!

Sorry for the late chapter!  Something came up and I couldn't update.  When I finally got back on the computer, over 800 reviews...  Thanks for still reading ^_^

Asaga:  Thanks!  They'll need some of that stuff ^_^

bigfuzzydiceperson:  Sorry!

Chibi-chan:  I watched that movie a long time ago.  I remember crying because I thought the Goblin King's hair was scary.  Err... I was pretty young at the time *cough*.  The stairs thing stayed with me.

Chisa and Neko:  Nope, the eggs and cows are fine.

IntelagentBlond:  Nope, I don't post anywhere but ff.net.  I used to post stuff on my website, but I haven't touched it since 1999.  FF.net is 'busy' a lot.  I usually wait a day or two before trying to read a 'busy' chapter again.

Kimmie:  The doors might be good for something if I ever write a sequel!

Kurai chan:  Don't know.  They're being stubborn...

Kyra Windwood:  *digs some more ice cream out of the freezer* Enjoy!  And I think it would be a bit pointless to email when I update.  The chapter usually doesn't show up for a few hours, anyway.  Just assume that it'll be there sometime tomorrow.  Well, except for yesterday... ^_^;;;

LukeSkywalker'sLady's little brother:  Glad you like this story!  I hope your big sister's minor editing for language doesn't bother you too much!  And yes, cliffhangers are evil, no argument there.  I can't help it, it's a habit I can't shake now :(

Sheron:  A long time ago, I wrote a few FF7, one short Muraki pov, a stack of Gundam Wing, and an Outlaw Star.  They all suck, trust me on this :P  I don't have a LifeJournal...  What is it?

YAMIGIRL:  Not a fan of lemons, eh?

Again, my apologies for not updating yesterday.  I'll try to not do that again :P

**Warnings:**  Character death (sort of), language, angst, eventual Seto/Joey.

**Disclaimers:**  I don't own YuGiOh or any other brand names you might come across.  No cough drops were harmed in the making of this fic.

**************************************************************************

**Being Dead Ain't Easy**

**Chapter Thirty:  I Wish We Never Woke Up**

**************************************************************************

Me and Kaiba leap through the door, him first, then me.  This one's nothing like the other doors we tried.  It's like ridin' a roller coaster and getting stuffed in a blender at the same time.  The world kinda ripples around me and I'm on the other side.  Kaiba must be too.

Everything snaps into focus.  I'm staring up at Bakura's dome.  It worked.

But I can't move.

Don't tell me we went through all that and I still can't move.

WHY!?  I feel fine, I feel _great_, but I'm stiffer than a piece of cardboard!  It's like I'm totally numb all over.

'Kaiba!'  I try to shout, but I don't think I make a sound.

"-won't... get away... with this... Bakura."  Yami Yuugi.  He sounds like he's gonna pass out any second.

"Oh, you're still conscious?"  Yami Bakura.  "How impressive.  All your little friends collapsed a few minutes ago."

"I... won't fall... so easily, backstabber!" he snarls.  But it's weak.

A snort.  "Backstabber?  I think not.  I have performed the ritual to the best of my ability.  Its failure is no concern of mine."  He pauses.  "The brat is unharmed, as I have promised.  I won't get what I want from the Priest, true, but your Millennium Puzzle is well worth the trouble I have gone through."  Yuugi!  _Damn!_  "Remove it, and I will consider sparing your host."

"...I know... you.  You'll take... the Puzzle... and kill Yuugi."  A beat.  "Never.  I won't let you."

Yami Bakura chuckles.  "You are in no position to stop me, Pharaoh.  If you will not give me your Puzzle, I will simply have to take it from your cooling body."

NO!  HE CAN'T!  HE CAN'T!  I scream in my head.  This is all my fault.  Yuugi's gonna die and it's all my fault...!

Somebody's gotta do something!

I hear a groan from someplace near my head.

Seto?

_...Ugh... what did I drink...?_

What was that?

_...Joey?_

I'm hearing voices in my head and it sounds like Kaiba.  I must've snapped while I wasn't looking.

_Why am I hearing that chihuahua in my head...?  This is up there with that dream about the stairs…  I'll get that Egyptian for this..._

This is real!  The dream was real!  Our spirits or something must've been sucked... _somewhere!_  Kaiba!  Kaiba, do something!  Yuugi's in trouble!  KAIBA!

Another groan.

_I feel so bad it must be real.  I don't think you can feel pain in dreams._

You've gotta help Yuugi!  GET UP!

_...Too tired.  If it's such a big deal, why don't YOU go rescue him?_

I CAN'T FUCKING MOVE, KAIBA!

_Well, neither can I, so we're even, dog in my head!_

Okay, I've gotta be nice and understanding here.  He's totally beat up and maybe Tristan whacked him in that oversized head of his a few times.

_I heard that._

This hearing thoughts thing is gonna be a pain in the butt, I just know it.

_You simply have poor mental discipline._

You...  Never mind, that doesn't matter right now!  Kaiba...  Seto...  Listen, Bakura's gonna kill Yuugi and swipe his Puzzle.  Your brother's lyin' there somewhere, passed out.  Tea and Tristan, too.  They need you.  _Mokuba_ needs you.

_Mokuba..._

Yeah.  Try to get up.  Please, Seto.

I hear something rustle.  A hiss of pain.

_I'm up.  Happy?_

Kinda.  What do ya see?

_MOKUBA!_

He's gonna be okay, Kaiba!  WHERE'S BAKURA!?

_He's... standing over your friend with a knife._

...He's WHAT!?

_You heard me.  I think.  _A pause.  _Where the hell are you?  I can't see you anywhere._

You can't..?  Forget that!  DO SOMETHING!

_Do what!?  I'm not exactly up to hand-to-hand combat right now, chihuahua!_

I... I don't know.

_I...  _Mental sigh.  _Fine.  The things I do for you, Wheeler..._

He coughs.  "Ba... Bakura!" Seto croaks out, getting his attention.

"...Priest.  You're still alive, I see."

"Obviously."  He... picks me up?  Now I can see something besides the dome ceiling.  Tristan's lyin' on the ground, but the angle's all messed up and sideways.  "Get away from Yuugi Mutou.  We had an agreement:  No Millennium Items."

"This has nothing to do with you, Priest.  I am not taking the Puzzle in return for my services.  I am simply... using the opportunity to do so."  He laughs.  "Your brother is unharmed, I assure you.  I gave you my word, after all."

"That's not good enough."  I hear Seto cough again.  It sounds... off.  He's hurt big time.  "Leave Mutou alone."

"I don't think so.  I suggest you use your last moments more constructively.  The loss of the dog's soul will kill you in another minute or so."

I feel Kaiba's smirk in my head.  "He's still here."

Pause.  "The ritual actually worked?" Yami Bakura says finally.  "Huh.  I'll have to remedy that later.  It appears that I have underestimated your dead friend."

"Yes, you have."

There's quiet for a while.

"Walk away, Priest.  The Puzzle is mine."

"I can't do that, Bakura."  I feel Kaiba hold me tight in... his hand?  I'm looking down or up at him now and I can see him from the waist up.  He's holding me with one hand.  I must've shrunk or something.

Seto, how're you gonna stop him?  He's got a knife.  And magic powers.

_You told me to do something.  This is it.  If Bakura doesn't kill us, you owe me._

...Your plan sucks, Kaiba.

_Do you have a better one?_

I look to the side and see Yami Bakura pull some kinda card outta his deck.

OH SHIT!  Kaiba, look out!  His deck stuff's real!

_What do you mean, 'real'!?_

MOVE!

A great big green bug thing charges right at us and Kaiba just barely gets outta the way.  "What was _that!?_" he hisses.  The bug thing spins around and stands there, waiting.

"Man-Eater Bug.  A very useful creature," says Yami Bakura.  He draws another card.  Smiles.  "Let me introduce you to another card.  Spellbinding Circle."

Just like that, Seto cries out and falls to his knees.  There's a... glowing _ring_ around him.

KAIBA!

Yami Bakura slowly walks over to us.  "I am out of your league, Priest.  You know nothing."  He looks at that bug of his.  "Kill him."  He turns his back to us, twirling the knife in his hands.  Heads for Yuugi.

Seto's straining against Bakura's magic, but I don't think he could've broken out even if he was 100 percent.  He stumbles up and dodges the bug as it makes another charge at him.

I can feel him trying to break the tightening circle with everything he's got, but all he's doin' is making it dig into him even more.  He dodges the bug one more time and falls back down.  He's not getting back up.  I fight against the stupid numbness that's got me doing nothing, but I'm just not strong enough.  I'll never be strong enough.

There's a... nudge... in my head.  It's Kaiba.

We got no time to chat!  Whadda ya want!?

_I have an idea._

Great!  What's the id-

And he does the same thing he did when he 'signaled' me.  Only about ten billion times worse.

Kaiba blasts me clear outta Bakura's magic circle thing and into the Man-Eater Bug.  It goes 'squish' under me.

I spin around.  "KAIBA!  WHAT DO YA THINK YOU'RE DOIN'!?"

"Not now!  Get Bakura!" he snarls from the ground, but he's lookin' at me real funny.

Hey, I can move!  I swing my head around.  Tristan, Tea, Mokuba, and Yami Yuugi are all on the ground.  Yami's the only one who's sorta movin' a little.  Yami Bakura's standing there looking surprised to see me.  He gets over it and starts to draw another card.

I don't think so.

I lunge at him and knock his deck outta his hand.  Cards go flying.  Yami Bakura manages to catch one so I grab his arm before he can do anything with it.  He screams.

There's great big bloody scratches on his arm where I got him.  And my hands... are... claws...

What _am_ I?

He tries to stab me in the gut with his knife, but it bounces off the black plating.

Am I wearin' armor or something?

The backstabbing Egyptian tries to go for another card while I'm distracted, but Yami Yuugi kicks him behind the knee and he trips before he gets to it.

Thanks, Yuugi.   'Don't even try it, Bakura!' I try to yell.  It comes out sounding like "ROOAAARRR!"  I slam into him with my head – is it really _my_ head? - and he drops.  I'm about to beat him up real good when he smirks.

"Not so fast, beast."  First it's dog, now it's beast.  What's goin' on!?

Yami Bakura closes his eyes and... changes.

The dome thing disappears, I hear a 'snap' as the spellbinding circle breaks, and Ryou Bakura, all-around nice guy, blinks up at me.  "What's going... on...?"  His eyes focus, he takes one look at me, and passes out.  Well, no way am I gonna hurt him _now_.  That Ring of his, though...

I hook a... claw... around it and get it off Bakura.  It's kinda hard to hold onto it and I drop it a couple of times.  I wonder why nobody ever tried to take his Ring away before?

And I want a mirror.  Right now.

I hear a weak chuckle.  I turn around.  "Kaiba?"

Bakura's circle must've cut right into him.  His clothes are wrecked and I don't know how bad he is under that shirt, but he looks pretty out of it.  "You know... Joey...  Red Eyes Black Dragon suits you... but Blue Eyes would have been so much more impressive."  He smiles at me.  And topples over.

"KAIBA!"  Something sucks the air right outta me and when I can see again, my hands are hands.  The Ring falls through my fingers.

And Seto's lying in a pool of his own blood.

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	31. Hospital Stay

**Summary:**  Tragedy strikes.  Joey Wheeler is gone forever.  Or is he?  Joey POV.  Post Duelist Kingdom AU.  Will eventually be Seto/Joey shounen-ai.

**Author's Notes:**  Well, I thought I'd try writing a YuGiOh fic.  And it's still going.  And whoa, still going.  But it'll be over soon!

Thanks for continuing to read this story that seems to go on forever.  As always, I appreciate it ^_^

Dillon:  I'm pretty sure Kaiba is his last name.  Seto Kaiba, Mokuba Kaiba, Kaiba Corp.  According to the dub, anyway.

elz:  Glad I could be of service!

IntelagentBlond:  No lemon in this fic.  That would bump it to R, yes?  The swearing is already stretching the PG-13 a little, and besides, I don't know how to write lemons anyway ^_^;;

JaguarKitty2006:  Thanks for the mints!

KeMu:  Joey changed back, don't worry!  Hmmm, DragonJoeyxDragonSeto...  Joey's on top!  I might actually try that in another fic.  *blinks*  I'm sick, aren't I...

Kimmie:  Thanks for defending me, but it's okay, really!  All reviews are in some way good because it gives me an idea of what someone thinks of my work ^_^  No reviews is the worst criticism of all, plus, there's no way to tell if it's because it's bad, boring, lacking some undefined something, filled with typos, etc…  I had a ghost dream once, I think.  I hid my head under the covers just in case it wasn't a dream...

Machi:  To tell you the truth, I hate all my chapters.  The only way I can tell if they're any good is if I wait a few weeks before reading them again so I can pretend I didn't write them in the first place.  The same goes for everything else I've ever written.  Glad you liked the rest of the story!  And I'm not going to put up two chapters to make up for the lost day :P

Ruri-san:  Don't worry, I'll do another chapter no matter how many reviews I get.  I *have* to finish this story simply to... well... finish it!

Shade Azuna:  Interesting ^_^

Sheron:  My website's probably gone by now, I'll take a look at the journal site when I wake up tomorrow, and yes, Seto/Joey are my favourite ^_^  Joey knew about the cards because Tristan told him, and he *did* see Bakura put up the dome using the card...

Tuulikki:  Yup, I've heard about the contest.  Thinking about it...

No awful cliffhanger this time!  Hehehe... that probably means it'll show up next chapter.

**Warnings:**  Character death (sort of), language, angst, eventual Seto/Joey.

**Disclaimers:**  I don't own YuGiOh or any other brand names you might come across.  No eyeballs were harmed in the making of this fic.

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**Being Dead Ain't Easy**

**Chapter Thirty-One:  Hospital Stay**

**************************************************************************

Yami Yuugi shakes everybody awake.  I try to help too, but it's like I'm just a ghost again.  The only guy I can sorta move is Seto, but he's not wakin' up no matter what I do.  On the bright side, he's still got a pulse.

The gang's woozy, but they're okay.  Mokuba gets the limo driver to come around and we all head over to the nearest hospital.

Ya know, it must be pretty weird for Ryou Bakura; he says the last thing he remembers is getting invited to Seto's, and the next thing he knows, he's waking up with a mangled arm that'll need stitches.  Yami tells him that we all got in a big fight with Yami Bakura, and Ryou goes, "Oh, so that's what happened," and shrugs it off.  I don't know why he's not worried about it.  Is Yami Bakura messing with his head?  That Ring is around his neck again, even though it should be lyin' on the road somewhere.

Yami grabs my Red Eyes card from Seto's hand before the poor guy gets wheeled away in a stretcher for surgery.  Bakura goes and gets his stitches done.  We all crowd into the waiting room and, well... wait.  Forever.  The clock on the wall doesn't help.

Mokuba's sitting in a chair hugging his knees, crying, but being quiet about it.  Tea's trying to read a magazine while Tristan just sits there, thinking.  Yami switches back to Yuugi.  He's trying to comfort Seto's little brother.  I lean against a wall and feel lost, listening to the seconds go by.

We wait for hour after hour.  Sometimes we talk about silly stuff to help pass the time.  Yuugi does the talking for me.  No talk about magic 'cause the hospital people are watching.  Yuugi's grandpa drops by to see how we're all doing and he tells Yuugi to come home soon before leaving to open his shop.  A few more hours later, and Ryou and Tea decide to leave, telling us to call if anything changes.

Another few hours.  Yuugi, Tristan, and Mokuba fall asleep.  I look at the clock.  They skipped school.

I can stand it for exactly five minutes and twenty-two seconds before I hafta get up and leave the room.  I think about checking on Seto, but I don't want to accidentally make the guys working on him mess up if they're not done yet.

I end up standing outside in the rain.  It's not raining that hard now, so maybe the sun'll come up soon.  It's a good place to think, and it's not like I'm gonna get wet or anything.

I check myself out.  It all looks good.  I won't say the ritual actually worked, but it did do something.  I'm not gonna fade anytime soon, thanks to Yami Bakura.  And Seto Kaiba.  And all my friends.

Yuugi comes outta the hospital and runs over to me.  "Joey, there you are!  I was so worried when I woke up and couldn't see you!"

How'd he know I left?  "Sorry 'bout that, Yuug'.  I just had to... do something, ya know?  It was getting stuffy in there."

"Mm, I know what you mean."  He stands there, keeping me company.  In the rain.

He's pretending it doesn't matter, but his hair is starting to droop.  "Wanna go over there?"  I jerk my head to the hospital entrance.  It's outta the rain, but still outside.

"Well, if you want to..."

Yuugi's such a good friend he's gonna make himself sick for me.  I just know that if I stand here, he's just gonna stand here too, so I run over to the entrance.  He follows me and, once we're there, he squeezes the water outta his hair.  Sneezes.

"You need to go back inside?"

Yuugi shakes his head, smiles.  "No, I'm fine."  The smile fades.  "But I'm really worried about Kaiba.  He... didn't look very good."

He looked dead.  "Yeah, I'm kinda worried about him too, but the guy's like a giant roach.  He's gonna be okay."

Yuugi giggles but tries not to.  "Joey, don't call him a roach!  That's not very nice!"  It's hard to think of him as the same age as me.  He's like the kid brother I never had sometimes.

"It's not like he's very nice to me, Yuugi!  Have ya _heard_ some o' the names that guy calls me?  Chihuahua?  Puppy-boy?"

He blinks.  "Puppy-boy?  I... um... don't think I've heard that one before."

Did Seto ever call me that in front of Yuugi?  I don't think so.  "Eh, he calls me that in private."

Yuugi coughs to hide a laugh.  "Well, that's not... too bad.  He's called you worse things.  Actually, I think Kaiba's gotten a lot nicer."

I snort.  Seto is not nice.  He'll never be nice.  "Yeah, right."

"No, really!  I don't think he hates you at all, Joey."

I look down at my shoes.  "We sorta worked out that we didn't hate each other a while back."

Yuugi beams at me.  "That's great!"

No it's not.  Seto's got some weird twisted thing going where he treats me like Mokuba... when he's not too busy bein' a prick.  And me?  I don't want him to die, and I think it's not just 'cause of Mokuba.  I... I don't know what's goin' on in my own head.  Maybe, one of these days, me and Seto can sign up for some serious help and go get our heads screwed on right.

"Joey, are you okay?"

I give myself a shake.  "Yeah, I'm okay, just spaced out for a sec.  The ritual must've messed me up."

Yuugi gives me a worried look.  "What happened?  Yami says Kaiba dropped your card and you disappeared."  He frowns.  "How'd Kaiba get that, anyway?  I thought I'd lost it."

"He swiped it from ya.  Little klepto likes his cheap thrills."

"He stole..."  Yuugi shakes his head.  "I'll talk to him about that later.  What happened when you disappeared?"

"I woke up in some place that looked like Seto's bedroom, but wasn't.  Went outside, wandered around some stair-maze thing, found Seto, found the door out, and here I am."

Yuugi's eyes widen.  "You know, that sounds a lot like a soul room!"

I blink.  "A... what?"

"It's a... a... um..."  Yuugi chews on his lip.  "I'll let Yami explain it."

The Puzzle flashes and Yuugi changes into Yami.  "Huh?  What's this about soul rooms?"

I'll never get used to how he switches back and forth.  "I was tellin' Yuugi 'bout where I went during the ritual.  Seto's bedroom, freaky stairs, doors that go to some weird places.  Ring a bell?"

He opens his mouth, closes it, glares at me.  Ever been glared at by a guy with glowing red eyes?

"What'd I say?"

Glare.  "You called him Seto."

Damn.  "I mean Kaiba."  How long have I been calling him Seto?  That freak messes me up even when he's lyin' on some operating table getting glued back together.

Yami narrows his eyes, but drops it.  "What condition were you in when you awoke in that place?"

"Solid.  Real."  I think for a bit.  "Se – Kaiba wasn't hurt or anything."

The other guy nods.  "Then it probably was your soul room, or something similar."

"So what's a soul room?"

Yami blinks.  "A room.  For your soul."

"I figured that out already."  I'm not _that_ stupid.

"Ah.  Well, it's... a place that a spirit can return to in order to rest.  A safe haven shaped by your personality."  He pulls out the card he swiped back from Seto.  "I assume this contains your essence now, as well as your soul room."

I touch the Red Eyes Black Dragon and feel a tingle.  I get the feeling I could go right into the card if I wanted to.  "This is where I was before, huh."

"Yes.  I saw the dragon, or rather, you, come forth from it.  You changed back when Kaiba lost consciousness.  I suppose he summoned you."

"So it's... what?  The Millennium Duel Monsters Card?"

Yami takes a closer look at the card.  "Not exactly.  It 'feels' different from the other Millennium Items.  I have no idea of its capabilities."  He gives me a funny look.  "Why in the world would your soul room contain Kaiba's bedroom, anyway?"

"Maybe I was in _his_ soul room?  I mean, he was wanderin' around, too."

He frowns.  "Perhaps the Millennium Eye merged your soul rooms together.  A maze made of stairs would seem to reflect Kaiba's personality more than your own."

Maybe those clothes I found weren't Seto's, but mine.  They were so old I just forgot about them.  I hope that doesn't mean I've got the personality of an ugly shirt.

"So if the maze and stuff is Se - Kaiba's, and whatever's left over is mine, where'd the doors and freaky rooms come from?"

"I suspect those came from the card itself."

"Huh."  Looks like I've got some more soul room searching to do later.

The hospital entrance doors slide open and Tristan walks out.  "Yuugi?"  He looks around.  "Joey?"

"What is it?" asks Yami.

"The doctors say he's still out, but he's gonna be fine."

This is the best news I've heard all day.

******************************************************************************


	32. We Never Get A Break

**Summary:**  Tragedy strikes.  Joey Wheeler is gone forever.  Or is he?  Joey POV.  Post Duelist Kingdom AU.  Will eventually be Seto/Joey shounen-ai.

**Author's Notes:**  Well, I thought I'd try writing a YuGiOh fic.  And it's still going.  And whoa, still going.  But it'll be over soon!

Over 900 reviews...  Holy aardvarks I can't believe it.

AG the master:  2-5 chapters, I think.  It depends on how the next one goes.

Andross:  Yuugi was standing in the rain and almost got some in his eye.  Rainwater's not that good for you these days.

bigfuzzydiceperson:  I try to write a response to every review that seems to ask me a question, in alphabetical order.  I still miss a bunch, though...  Do you want me to use a different name?  Just sign it at the bottom.  I'll use it if it's shorter than the ff.net ID ^_^

ChibiSerenity:  Err, maybe...  I'll see how it comes out.

Kimmie:  I've recovered from my sudden non-cliffy-ness ^_^

Kyra Windwood:  I don't really write fast.  I have to sacrifice my fic-reading time, TV time, and Internet browsing time :P  Yup, others can see him in dragon mode.

Ninetails122:  Err, glad you're so enthusiastic, but don't get your hopes too far up ^_^;;

Sheron:  Argh, you found it!  Yeah :P

The Immortal Duelist:  Fixed the typo.  Thanks!  Hm, if Yami had red-eye in a photo, maybe they'd look orange... and if Joey glared at him, Yami would switch with Yuugi to be safe, maybe.

Tuulikki:  Maybe ^_^

Joey's still invisible to most people, but he can use Yuugi so it's not that big a deal anymore.

Maybe I should stick 'chronic cliffhanger syndrome' in the warnings...

**Warnings:**  Character death (sort of), language, angst, eventual Seto/Joey.

**Disclaimers:**  I don't own YuGiOh or any other brand names you might come across.  No vacuum cleaners were harmed in the making of this fic.

**************************************************************************

**Being Dead Ain't Easy**

**Chapter Thirty-Two:  We Never Get A Break**

**************************************************************************

Tristan had to go home 'cause his mom and dad were getting worried about him.  A few more hours go by before the hospital staff starts letting people visit Seto Kaiba.  Only family's allowed to see him right now, but I walk right in after Mokuba leaves.  It's not like the hospital people can see me or anything.  I'm just a ghost again.  Maybe a ghost like Yami, but still a ghost.

He looks... small.

I mean, I know he's the same size as always... well, okay, he's a little smaller.  The boots and flapping trench coats make him look twice as big.  Or maybe it's all in his attitude.  Either way, passed out like that, he just looks like some guy lyin' on a hospital bed right now.

He doesn't look like Seto Kaiba at all.

It's hard to believe he's gonna be okay.  He's breathin' on his own, yeah, but he's way too pale.  Poor guy.  He got sliced up by some magic circle, chased by a giant bug, sucked into a card, beat up by Tristan, shot at, and gassed, all on the same day.  Oh, and he hasn't been sleeping or eating right, either.  All this, and he still comes out on top.  If he got a personality transplant, Seto Kaiba would be somebody I'd kinda like.  Maybe I kinda like him already.

Just a little bit.

I make myself comfy on the edge of his bed.  "How are ya, Kaiba?"  I take a look at him.  Dumb question.  "Eh, forget I asked.  I can see how you're doin'."

He doesn't wake up to call me a stupid dog.

It's hard talking to a sleeping guy.  He's not giving me any clues on what to say next.  "Mokuba's okay.  Bakura didn't do anything to him, but I guess you already knew that, huh?  Your little bro was talkin' to ya before.  Everybody else is okay too.  All in all, the ritual went pretty good."

Ya know, this sorta reminds me of the time Seto pretended he couldn't hear me.  Only this time, he really _can't_ hear me.  I'm not hearin' any thoughts from him, but he's asleep, so it doesn't mean anything, right?

I wish he'd say something.  "When ya get outta the hospital, do ya wanna go out with me and my buddies for burgers or something?  Ya don't look like a 'burger' kinda guy, but it's always good to try something new."

The machines beep at me, letting me know that Seto's still alive.

I look down at him.  It's like his body's still running, but there's nobody behind the wheel.  He's just lying there.  No spark.  Even sleeping people have that _something_.

I have an awful, awful thought.

'Seto?' I think at him, hard.  'SETO, ARE YOU IN THERE?'

No answer.  Worse than no answer.  I don't even get a sense of him being there at all.

Okay, don't panic.  I'm pretty new at this 'soul bound to Seto Kaiba' stuff, so maybe this is normal.  Maybe he's fine and I'm making a big deal outta nothing.  The doctors said he's gonna be fine, so he's gonna be fine.

But the fanciest machines in the world wouldn't be able to tell if Seto was missing his soul.

I'll get Yuugi.  Yami.  "I'll be back in a sec, Kaiba.  I hafta ask Yuugi something," I tell him.  If Seto's fine, I don't wanna worry him.  I get up and walk to the door.

Once I'm through, I run through the halls like there's rabid dogs after me, looking left and right for Yuugi.  "YUUGI, WHERE ARE YA!?"

I slam through him as he rushes outta the men's washroom.  "Joey, what's-"

"Take a look at Seto for me."

Yuugi frowns.  "What's wrong with Kaiba?"

"I...  Just look at him and tell me if there's anything wrong, okay?  I've... got a feeling."

Yuugi takes one look at me and runs to Seto's room.  A woman gets in the way.  "Excuse me, young man, but are you trying to see Seto Kaiba?"

"Um, yes.  Can I?"

"Are you family?"

"Well, no, but-"

"I'm sorry," she says kindly, "but only his family is allowed to see him right now.  Maybe you can come back tomorrow."

"GET OUTTA MY WAY!" I yell.

Yuugi thinks fast.  "I mean... yes, I am family!  I just forgot."

He forgot?

"You forgot."  She frowns.  "What's your name?"

"...Mokuba."  Well, I guess if you change his hair, give him coloured contacts, squint...

"You don't look much like Mokuba," she says.

Yuugi swallows.  "Well, I dyed my hair and went shopping with Yuugi.  Please let me see him!" 'Mokuba' begs, cranking the 'cute' way up.  He's not a little kid anymore, so how does he _do_ that?  Does he practice in the mirror or something?

The woman stares at him, melts, and smiles.  "Alright... Mokuba.  Don't stay in there too long, okay?  You already saw him once today.  We even talked for a little while afterwards, remember?"

"...Oh."

She winks and walks away.

We rush into the room.

Yuugi blinks.  "He looks okay to me, Joey.  I mean, aside from the obvious."

"It's not his body I'm worried about."  But maybe I was just freakin' out for no reason.  If Yuugi thinks there's nothing wrong with him...

He takes a closer look at Seto.  Frowns.  "Wait.  Now that you mention it..."

The Puzzle flashes and Yami Yuugi takes over.  "...His soul is not where it should be."

Damn.  I was right.  "Don't tell me it's..."

Yami concentrates, does _something_, and shakes his head.  "No, it's still around somewhere, simply not in his body."

Okay, that's not great, but missing is better than 'poof'.  "But he was still with me when we were fightin' Bakura!"

He thinks.  "The battle must have weakened him spiritually as well as physically.  Kaiba lost his grip on his own body and... ended up elsewhere."

"Where?"

"I don't know."

Seto, where the hell are you?  He could be anywhere.  How're we supposed to find...?

I'm bein' an idiot.

I close my eyes and try to feel him out.  It works the same way it did in the soul room thing.  I turn around until I'm pointing the right way.  Bingo.  I open my eyes.

Yami Yuugi.

No.  Yami Yuugi's pocket.  I point at it.

Yami pulls the Red Eyes Black Dragon outta his pocket and shows it to me.  Yeah, Seto's in there.

"Yami, can ya get him outta there?"

"I could try, but I might destroy the card in the process.  It's too dangerous."  He looks at me.  "You'll have to go in and find him yourself."

In a maze full of moving stairs.  Just terrific.  Maybe he can get out himself.  Or maybe he's totally lost in there.  Or hurt.  I don't really have a choice.

How hard can it be to find him?  I've got a built-in Kaiba radar.

I touch the card and get sucked right in.

******************************************************************************


	33. Why Can't Kaiba Be Normal Like Me?

**Summary:**  Tragedy strikes.  Joey Wheeler is gone forever.  Or is he?  Joey POV.  Post Duelist Kingdom AU.  Will eventually be Seto/Joey shounen-ai.

**Author's Notes:**  Well, I thought I'd try writing a YuGiOh fic.  And it's still going.  And whoa, still going.  But it'll be over soon!

Wow... you folks are amazing.  Thanks for staying around for 30+ chapters!

:P:  When I said all reviews are good, I didn't mean 'please say I suck and don't tell me why'  o_O.  As for me not having anything better to do and having no life... well, you can't judge a person by how they write, any more than you can judge a person by how well they act on TV. Spend a week getting to know me, and *then* call me names.  If you would like to leave some sort of pen name, I'd be more than happy to search the 'net for your fics.  I can't seem to find any authors called ':P' on ff.net.

Asahi Taiga:  Yup!  Bwahaha!

bigfuzzydiceperson:  Is that the kid with glasses who has a whole bunch of persocons?

Dove:  Writing lemons is hard!  I've never managed it.  This is a lot easier ^_^

elz:  I'm really flattered!  Sure, go ahead and translate it if you really, really want to...  You really like it that much?  Tell me how it goes ^_^  BTW, you might want to wait until I finish it, first.  There are a few chapters I sort of want to edit just a little bit.

Funny Bunny:  I think seeing your name did something to this chapter...

JKJ:  No cure in sight!

Jou-pup:  She knew he wasn't Mokuba, but he was just so harmless and cute-looking she couldn't say no.

Katsumi-chan(Hitara):  Maybe next time!  Though fluff might not be the right word.  Hmmm...

Kimmie:  It's physics, but quantum.  And now it's Kaiba's turn to get rescued.  Whee!  At 1000, I'll give out the whole chocolate factory ^_^

NoDa-chan:  Thanks!  5 or less chapters left to go, sorry...  The shounen-ai is... errr... well, if you squint...  And the radar's in Joey, so you'll have to kidnap him ^_^

Beware, soul room strangeness!

**Warnings:**  Character death (sort of), language, angst, eventual Seto/Joey.

**Disclaimers:**  I don't own YuGiOh or any other brand names you might come across.  No flying pigs were harmed in the making of this fic.

**************************************************************************

**Being Dead Ain't Easy**

**Chapter Thirty-Three:  Why Can't Kaiba Be Normal Like Me?**

**************************************************************************

The card spits me out through a soul room door and it slams shut behind me.  When I can see straight again, I turn around and open it back up.

An up close and personal view of Yami Yuugi looks back at me.

I stumble back.  I was _not_ expecting that.  "Yami!"

He doesn't say anything.  I guess he can't hear me through the card.  There's no point in keeping the door open - who knows what else might get sucked in through the open door? - so I close it in his face and take a look around.

Nothing's where it was before.

This is really, really gettin' on my nerves.  The stairs went nutso on me and parked themselves somewhere else.  There aren't any stairs where I am.  Fine, I can live with that.  If I stand around long enough, one or two will show up sooner or later.  If not, I can just jump off my little ledge and hope I don't die.  Again.  No, what really pisses me off is the fact that all the freaking doors moved around, too.  I'm gonna hafta explore the place.  All.  Over.  Again.

All the bits of ripped up shirt me and Seto left behind are gone, too.

'SETO, WHERE ARE YA!?' I scream out with my mind.  I do it out loud too, just in case.

No answer, but I get the feeling he's way over there in some room somewhere, so far away I can't even see the door.

All I hafta do is go get him, drag his lazy ass over here, and kick his butt through the door.  Okay, sounds pretty easy, but there's a couple of problems with that:  Number one is how I'm gonna find my way back to this door without getting lost, and number two is if this is even the right door to shove him through.  This door goes outside.  I'm a ghost, so outside's fine with me, but Seto's got a living, breathing body to go back to.  He went through this door okay last time, but he was stronger before.  If he's like Yami said, 'weakened spiritually', what's gonna happen?  Maybe I should ask Yami after I find the guy.

As for problem number one...  Well, I never liked my school uniform anyway.

I take the blue jacket off and start ripping off a strip.  It's pretty cool how strong I am here, but I really hope I don't have to use my superpowers on more than just my jacket.  Seto had better be a lot closer than I think he is.  If I'm real lucky, I'll trip over the bedroom door and get some more clothes.

I drop some blue cloth where I'm standing and leap onto a staircase as it flies by.  Everything's moving around a lot more than it did the first time I was here.  It's like the place is waking up and stretching its wings or something.

This staircase curves up and sometimes meets up with another one going my way.  I run up to the top, drop some more of my jacket on the steps I'm standing on and hop onto the next staircase.

Ya know, this is kinda fun, in a crazy sorta way.  At least, it would be if I wasn't trying to get somewhere.

I find some doors while I'm looking for Seto.  They're the same ones I saw last time, but now they _all_ have freaky-looking monsters behind them.  Still haven't found him or the bedroom.  I'm starting to get chilly.  Yeah, I can find my way back to the exit now, but I want my jacket back, dammit!

One jacket, two shoes, two socks, a T-shirt, and a pant leg later, I find the door I think Kaiba's behind.  I'm gonna kill him if the monsters haven't done it for me.  Didn't Yami say this place was supposed to be a 'safe haven'?  Maybe Yami Bakura added a personal touch to it.

I open it up.  It's that room with seven doors.  Well, eight doors if you count the one I came out of.  I almost rip off another scrap of pants out of habit, but I change my mind in time and just leave the door open.  I want to still have _something_ on when I find him.

I feel around for Seto, open the door, and step through.

It's a castle.  Just like the one we fought Pegasus in.  I hear chanting coming from the place.  There's something weird about the voices, but then, this whole little world is weird.  I owe Yami Bakura a 'thank you' punch in the face.

Why did Seto end up _here!?_  I'm guessing this place came from his mind, but why?

I run up the path.  I swear it looks just like Duelist Kingdom.  There's no guards in the way this time, so I just let myself in.  The chanting's coming from my right, so that's where I go.  It's a pretty good bet that Seto's where the action is.

I bust down the door and...

This is way more than I ever wanted to know about what goes on in the mind of a Kaiba.

We're in a huge dungeon cell.  A real dungeon cell with wet, mossy stone walls and no windows.  He's tied up with rope to a stake in the middle of the room.  The only light's coming from the torches his chanting captors are carrying.

Funny Bunny.

That stupid cartoon Pegasus liked.

Seto's sweating and his breathing's all off.  He looks like he's been struggling to break free for hours.  It's just a cartoon rabbit, right?  Nothing scary about that.

Unless there's hundreds and hundreds of them, all of them chanting, "Hey, Kaiba!  Hey, Kaiba!  Hey, Kaiba!"  Each Funny Bunny says it a split second before another one, turning the words into this big mess of sound.

They're jumping around all over the place and bouncing off the walls.  Seto's trying not to scream.  There's a story behind this, but I don't think I wanna know.

One of the Funny Bunnies, well, _sashays_ I guess, up to him.  Seto freezes.  This one looks different from all the other ones.  He's wearin' a red suit with frilly cuffs and a little bowtie ribbon.  The freaky rabbit leans in way too close.  "Hello there... _Kaiba-boy_," he purrs.  That... that _thing_ sounds just like Pegasus.  Touches Seto's hair.

Seto cracks.  "DAMN YOU PEGASUS LET ME GO!" he screams.  "LET ME GO!  LET ME GO!"

"Hey, Kaiba!  Hey, Kaiba!"  They all giggle.

I can't believe I'm just standing there gawking at him.  "KAIBA!"  Okay, he's not gonna hear me in this sea of 'Kaiba!'  "SETO!  FREAK!  I'M HERE!"  I grab the nearest Funny Bunny and chuck him at a wall.  He goes splat but bounces right back lookin' like an accordion.

There's dead silence.

Seto turns his head so fast I hear it crack.  "Joey," he growls.  "What are you doing here?"

You'd think the guy'd be, I don't know, _thankful_ that I'm here to rescue him, but nooo, not Seto Kaiba.

The Funny Bunnies grin at me, waving their torches.  The hundred-plus cartoon monsters start stalking towards me.

Well, it looks like I've got their attention.

******************************************************************************


	34. Hitting A Brick Wall

**Summary:**  Tragedy strikes.  Joey Wheeler is gone forever.  Or is he?  Joey POV.  Post Duelist Kingdom AU.  Will eventually be Seto/Joey shounen-ai.

**Author's Notes:**  Well, I thought I'd try writing a YuGiOh fic.  And it's still going.  And whoa, still going.  But it'll be over soon!

Over 1000 reviews! *fireworks go off all over the screen*  Virtual Chocolate factories!  Chocolate factories for everyone!  (If you have a chocolate allergy, please help yourself to a virtual factory of your choice, like this one that makes money).

Angel-Belle:  Would I do such a cruel, cruel thing to him?

boy who...:  Pegasus won't *really* show up...  BWAHAHA!

Jou-pup:  Each card has its own soul.  Since Joey can turn into REBD, he *is* the heart of that card!

Kimmie:  Yup, looks like some Harry Potter influence there, but I don't think the HP stairs were quite so lively...

Selina:  Thanks for the cookie ^_^

Sheron:  A reviewer's name was Funny Bunny, and it stuck with me for some reason...  And that bunny looked a bit like Pegasus.  Kaiba created this nightmare bunny for some reason...

silverflames:  According to ff.net, the first 10 chapters were the shortest (smallest was only 694 words!).  Nope, no lime either.  Even the shounen-ai is pretty iffy.  If it doesn't get anywhere by next chapter, I'm changing the summary.

sodapop:  I wasn't reading Harry Potter at the time, but I probably got it from there.

The Immortal Duelist:  Never seen Invader Zim...  Is it worth taking a look at?  And the vacuum was for needed for the 'Joey sucked into card' effect.

I wonder why ff.net seems to have a thing against two zeroes?  Bizarre.

Beware, cliffhanger (again)!

**Warnings:**  Character death (sort of), language, angst, eventual Seto/Joey.

**Disclaimers:**  I don't own YuGiOh or any other brand names you might come across.  No special-effects crews were harmed in the making of this fic.

**************************************************************************

**Being Dead Ain't Easy**

**Chapter Thirty-Four:  Hitting A Brick Wall**

**************************************************************************

There's only so much you can do when a huge mob of killer cartoon rabbits decides to tear you limb from limb.

That's right.  I'm not proud to say it, but I run outta the dungeon screaming.  Every single damn Funny Bunny chases after me.  On the bright side, none of 'em are bugging Seto anymore.  Go, me.  Three cheers for Joey Wheeler.

"I'LL COME BACK FOR YA, KAIBA!" I shout over my shoulder.  I don't know if he heard me over the roar of the mob, though.

I scramble through the twisting hallways, skidding a little every time I make a turn.  I wish I still had my sneakers on.  The Funny Bunnies don't have any trouble at all.  I better get a move on or those rabbits are gonna catch up and... well, do _something_ to me.  I don't wanna find out what that something is.

Stupid Kaiba and his stupid freaky head.  I hope I don't crash into anything else he dreamed up.

I zip around a corner.  There's a door.  It's a broom closet.  I have just enough time to open it up, jump inside, and close it before the screaming mob of crazies stampede by, yelling "Hey, Kaiba!  Hey, Kaiba!" all the way.

I peek out of the closet and see a cloud of dust where the Funny Bunnies ran off to.  They don't even look back.  They've got ink for brains.

Looks like it's safe to save Seto now.  I better go do it before his Bunnies come back.

I come outta the closet and the thing disappears.  Weird.

Seto's still where I left him, tied up and looking pissed.  He glares at me while I untie him.  Once he's free, he rubs his wrists, still glaring at me the whole time.

Why's he looking at me like that?  "Aren't you gonna say thank you?"

He sneers.  "I never asked for your help, Wheeler.  I don't want it and I don't need it.  Why don't you go back to your little friends and let me be?"

Yeah, he was doing just _fine_ on his own.  After all this, he wants me to go back by myself!?  "WHAT THE HELL'S YOUR PROBLEM, KAIBA!?"

"You are," he says coldly.

What happened to the almost-nice Seto Kaiba I've sort of gotten to know?

Screw this.  "We're goin'."  I start walking towards the hallway.

"No."

I spin around.  No?  _No?_  "Seto Kaiba, if you had any idea what I just went through to get your rich ass and how pissed off I am about it, you'd march right outta this cell and do what I tell you," I growl.

"Are you deaf as well as dumb, dog?" he sneers at me.  "I am not going with you.  I don't care how much trouble you-"  Kaiba's eyes run down my body.  Blinks.  "What happened to your clothes?"

"I had to rip 'em up so I can find the way back.  So _we_ can find the way back.  You owe me some new threads."

He looks away.  "I'm staying here, Joey.  Just go."

I don't get this.  Outside in the real world, good.  Trapped with Funny Bunny, bad, real bad.  "Tell me why."

He opens his mouth but freezes, listening.

It's pretty faint, but I can hear "Hey, Kaiba!  Hey, Kaiba!" coming closer and closer.  Those freakin' Funny Bunnies are back.

"Joey, _go!_" he hisses.

I don't think so.  "I'm not leavin' unless you come with me.  Your call."

The chanting rabbits make his decision for him.  One of 'em pokes its head into the room.  "Hey, Kaiba!"  Seto kicks it in the face, grabs my arm, and runs for it, dragging me behind him.

We run and run, but the doors outta the castle are just... gone.

Seto finds us another closet.  It's a... tight fit, but just like last time, the Funny Bunnies go right past it.

Once the coast is clear, we get back out.  "...Seto, why do you hafta stay-"  He slaps a hand over my mouth.

"Hush."

We back down the hallway like that, him keeping his ears open and me with my back pressed up against him with his hand over my mouth so he doesn't have to listen to me talk.  I feel like I'm being kidnapped.  I'd kick his ass, but the Bunnies might hear us.

Seto acts like he knows where he's going.  We go around another corner, check for Funny Bunnies, and find some stairs.  I swear they weren't there when I was running from the Funny Bunnies before.  It's like things just show up or disappear if Seto wants it.  I get the feeling he made all of this.  Why can't he get out?

He has to let go of me so we can climb the stairs.  I'm not gonna say anything right now, but when we get outta here, boy is he gonna get it.  Maybe Yami and Tristan'll join in.  It'll be like a big party.

He opens the door at the top of the stairs and it swings open.

I look around.  It's the place where Kaiba cheated away Yuugi's starchips.  There's a rotting Blue Eyes Ultimate Dragon lying on the floor.  It looks just like the one Kaiba had after Yami Yuugi was done with it.  All melted and dripping.

It's pretty windy up here, especially for a guy who's only sort of wearing pants.

Seto notices me shivering and takes off his white trench coat.  He forces me into it.

"Seto?"

He won't look at me.  "Leave me behind, Joey.  Those... creatures... want me, not you.  If you stop trying to make me go, they'll leave you alone."

That doesn't even deserve an answer.  I'm not leaving him behind.  "Where are we?"

"I don't know.  After the battle with that Egyptian, I woke up here."  He shrugs.  "Frankly, I don't care."

He's being molested by demented cartoon rabbits and he doesn't care.  "I don't care that _you_ don't care, Kaiba!" I spit back at him.  I take a breath.  "I'm thinkin' that maybe this place is another part of our soul room, the same way your bedroom is."

Pause.  "What's a soul room?"

"Yami says it's a place for me to rest, but I sure ain't getting any."  No kidding.

He doesn't say anything.

"Seto, why can't you get outta here?  Your body's lyin' on a hospital bed, waiting for you.  It still works."

He still won't look at me.  "Go home, puppy-boy.  Keep the trench coat if you want.  I don't need it.  Let Mokuba know I'm sorry."

I don't like this.  I really don't like this.  "Seto, what..?"

"I don't want to go back."

******************************************************************************


	35. Break Through

**Summary:**  Tragedy strikes.  Joey Wheeler is gone forever.  Or is he?  Joey POV.  Post Duelist Kingdom AU.  Is sort of Seto/Joey shounen-ai.

**Author's Notes:**  Well, I thought I'd try writing a YuGiOh fic.  And it's still going.  And whoa, still going.  But it'll be over soon!

Thanks for continuing to enjoy this long, long, long story.  It makes it worth writing such a long, long, long *bursts into tears* long story!  Why did my first YGO fic have to be so long?  Why???  Oh, and beware the Seto/Joeyness!  Aaiieee, run away, run away!  Gah, it's 3:30am... so tired...

Angel-Belle:  Well, we'll know the state of his clothes next chapter!

Assassin of the Shadows:  Bwahaha!  Maybe that'll work...

bigfuzzydiceperson:  Somewhere between 18 and 23.  And I guess my favourite character is Hideki.  He's refreshingly normal ^_^

elz:  I love it!  The link didn't work at first, but I changed the 'w14' to 'www14' and BINGO it came up.  If you draw some more of anything I'd really like to see it ^_^  As for writing a new fic... probably, but I need to recover from this one, first.

Jou-pup:  If someone ripped up the card, that would be very, very bad.  As for playing him... hmmm...

Onyx:  Why?  Because... erm... he paid for it?

Pzanna:  Glad you like it!

This chapter was a pain in the butt to write.  It's twice as long and also three hours late :(

There's definite somewhat odd Seto/Joey in here.  Consider yourself warned!  Shounen-ai (or a close imitation), oh the horror!

**Warnings:**  Character death (sort of), language, angst, a little Seto/Joey.

**Disclaimers:**  I don't own YuGiOh or any other brand names you might come across.  No Kaibas were slapped in the making of this fic.

**************************************************************************

**Being Dead Ain't Easy**

**Chapter Thirty-Five:  Break Through**

**************************************************************************

"You WHAT!?"

He sighs.  "I'm feeling generous, so I'll say it again:  I.  Don't.  Want.  To.  Go.  Back.  Clear enough for you, you dumb mutt?"

"Like mud.  What the hell's _wrong_ with you!?"

Seto kneels down next to the dragon corpse and runs a hand over one of its necks.  "You're probably not as stupid as you look, Joey.  Why don't you figure it out?"

I'm not in the mood.  "Ya know what, Seto?  You're coming with me whether you want to or not."  I grab his arm.

"NO!"

It's a bad idea to go one-on-one against a guy who knows more martial arts than you do.  To make a long, painful story short, I lose.  He fights even better when he doesn't have a trench coat getting in the way.

He stands over me with his arms crossed.  "I'm not leaving."  The castle seems to hear him 'cause the towers and walls rise up like a giant stone cage and trap us.  We can't even jump off the castle.  Not that doing that would be a good idea, but...

I get the hint.  He's not goin' if he doesn't want to go.  I get back up and brush myself off.  "Well, that's just _swell_, Kaiba.  If you wanna stay, it's not like I can knock you out and drag you away."

"I'm glad we agree."

"Gonna give me a hint as to why?  Other than because you wanna piss off the chihuahua dog, I mean."

Seto concentrates.  The castle walls come back down.  "Just go before you get trapped here.  The longer you stay, the harder it is for me to make this world let you go."

I hope that doesn't mean he _can't_ leave.  But he said he didn't _want_ to go, not that he couldn't.  I look at the door we came out of.  Are the Bunnies gonna find it?  "So what am I gonna tell your little bro, huh?  'Sorry, but your big brother wants to be a prick'?  Who's gonna look after him?"

He shrugs and goes back to his dragon.  "Yuugi.  You.  I'm sure you're up to the task."  He pauses.  "When you really think about it, Mokuba... doesn't need me at all."  The dragon rots just a little more.  It's not just a dragon.  Is it a part of Seto?  Maybe it's falling apart because Seto thinks nobody needs him.

This must be what's holding him back.  Maybe it's not, but I sure hope it's something this easy.  "You're his big brother, Seto.  Of course he needs you."

Seto laughs.  "To do what?  Make him breakfast?"  He shakes his head.  "He's a Kaiba, Joey.  A long time ago, he may have needed me, but now..."  He stares off into the distance.  "I've been thinking about this for a long time.  He can take care of himself.  I made sure of that."

"I'm not saying he can't, but-"

He cuts me off.  "He's better off without me.  Tell me, Joey, what have I done for him recently?"

Duelist Kingdom springs to mind.  "You risked your soul to rescue him from Pegasus."

"And it was because of me and my company that he got kidnapped in the first place."

Can't argue with that.  "But that wasn't really your fault."

"Who saved Mokuba?"

"Yuugi, but-"

"Who defeated Pegasus?"

"Well, Yuugi-"

"So I didn't manage to do these things.  When Pegasus trapped me in a soul card, did I manage to get out on my own?"

He's making me put him down.  "Seto..."

He clenches his fists but he won't look at me.  "DID I MANAGE THAT!?  TELL ME!"

"...No."

He relaxes.  "So I failed to accomplish even that much.  Not only did I fail, but I made the situation even worse.  Isn't that so?"

"Seto-"

"ISN'T THAT SO!?"

Why is he beating himself up over this!?  "Yeah, but you can't do everything, Seto!  You were... having an off day."

"There is no such thing as an off day.  You're either competent, or you're not."

I run a hand through my hair.  "Look, that's not fair!  You-"

"Has Yuugi Mutou ever had one of these off days of yours?  When he truly needed to do something, did he ever fail?"

"That time you dueled him..."

"And that was my fault, wasn't it?  If I hadn't been around, everything would have been easier.  If I hadn't been there, you would've moved on to wherever you were supposed to go.  If it hadn't been for me, you wouldn't have died in the first place."  Seto gets up and stares into my eyes.  "Can you honestly say I'm wrong?"

I open my mouth, close it again.  Damn him.

He watches me glare at him.  "Joey, while I was here, did you have any trouble moving around in the real world?  Did you feel weak at any time?"

"I-"

"Don't even try to lie.  You're hopeless at it."

I swallow.  "No."

He smiles.  "So you don't need me, either.  I don't know how important my physical condition is to your existence, so take good care of my body."

Seto has to come back with me.  He has to.  "It'd last longer if you were in it."

"It would get shot at if I was in it, and I'd probably take all your friends with me."

"Seto..."

"Face it, Joey.  Yuugi Mutou can take care of Mokuba if he ever needs anything and still have room left over on his plate to play 'hero'.  I only make things harder for him."

The guy's ruthless.

I have to be too.

"So you're takin' the easy way out.  Coward."

"Yes."

Yes?  That's all he has to say?  After everything that's happened, that's it?  Yes, I'll take the easy way out, thank you very much?

Wrong answer.  I grab him by the front of his shirt and slam him into the wall.  "Look, _Kaiba_," I snarl in his face, "I'm not gonna tell you what a great guy you really are.  You suck.  You suck so bad I don't know why Mokuba loves you so much.  He thinks you're gonna wake up, so I'm gonna _make_ you wake up, and I'm not goin' 'til you do.  I'm not leavin' and you can't make me."

He narrows his eyes.  "Oh really?"

I nod.  I'm not gonna back down.  He can beat me up 'til I'm a smear on the ground, he can call me names 'til his face turns blue, but I'm not budging.  He can see it.

Seto gets that look in his eyes.  The one that means something I can't even guess at.  He's up to something and I don't know what.

And he slams his mouth on mine.

Holy fucking shit.

I lose my balance, forget to let go of his shirt, and drag him down with me.

He latches onto me and makes like a leech.  With tongue.

We roll around on the floor until I manage to pry him off.  He's lying on top of me.

I was _not_ expecting that.  Serious understatement.  What the hell's his problem!?  "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING!?"

The fucker laughs at the look on my face and smirks at me.  "Unless you want more of the same, I suggest you leave and go back to your little friends like I told you to."

Sick bastard can stay here and _rot_ for all I care!  "FINE, I'M GO-"

Wait.

You won't get rid of me that easy, Seto Kaiba.  Two can play at... whatever this is.  This is one game you're not gonna win.  I won't let you.

I take a breath, look him right in the eye, and smirk right back at him.  He keeps smirking at me.

I keep mine up, too.

HIs drops off first.  It's a miracle.  He turns on the glare.

I keep smirking.

He can't keep it up.

The second he blinks, I grab him by the shoulders and do to him what he did to me.

He goes "Mmph!" and freezes.

Good.  I roll him over so I'm on top.  Who's laughin' now, huh?  Okay, neither of us, but that's 'cause my mouth is busy.

I never thought I'd kiss a guy in a million years, but here I am, goin' at it, so I can one up Seto Kaiba.  I'm _making out _with _Seto Kaiba_.  Life doesn't get much weirder than this.  I start to back off.  This is too weird.

He unfreezes and starts kissing me back.  For real.  Not like before when he was trying to scare me.

It's... nice.  He's good.  Real good.  Not that I go around making out with guys, but... wow.  Does _he_ go around making out with guys?  He's not gay, is he?  'Cause I'm not.  I swear I don't think of guys that way.  I mean, Mai is _hot_.  And Seto's a guy.  An okay-looking guy with a nasty personality.  I've looked at him, but I haven't _looked_ at him, ya know?  At least, I don't think I have.  I look at him the same way I always have.  Okay, maybe things between us have changed a little, and maybe sometimes he looks at me a little differently, and maybe I've warmed up to him a little...

He finally breaks it off so we can breathe.  Glares at me.  "What do you think you're _doing!?_" he hisses, wiping his mouth.

Look who's talking!  "What do ya think _you're_ doin'?"

"HOW DARE YOU MOCK ME!"

"I'm not mockin' you."  I can still taste him.  "When you have an answer for me, Seto, I'll... I'll have an answer for you."  I swallow.  Gah.  "But you have to come with me if you ever wanna find out.  Have you got what it takes?"  'Cause I don't think I do.  He just went and totally changed everything on me.

There's banging coming from the door.  I can hear "Hey, Kaiba!  Hey, Kaiba!" loud and clear.  I pretend I don't.

Seto stares at the door.  "Joey, you have to go.  Now."

I'm not going.  "Have you got what it takes, Seto Kaiba?"  This is not the time to let him see how freaked out I really am.  He has to come with me.  I need him to come with me, just so he can tell me why he did that.  I smirk.  "Or maybe you're just _shy_."

He goes red.  I don't know if he's angry or what.

The Funny Bunnies are breaking the door down.

"Seto, are we going or staying?"

I look at him and he looks back at me with those unreadable blue eyes.

"We're going."

I can't really describe it, but it's like the castle's falling apart around us, not where we are, but it's spreading.  We can't go out the door because the Funny Bunnies are spilling out of it.  "How?"

He concentrates, but the castle doesn't make any doors for him or anything.  He gives up and closes his eyes.  "It's too late.  I'm sorry, Joey."

It's too late.  He can't get us out.

Those stupid fucking rabbits swarm him.  There's too many of them.  They start coming after me. too.  They grab my arms and I can't get rid of them.

One of the Funny Bunnies is sitting on a throne lifted up by some other Bunnies.  It's the one in the suit.  "Welcome one and all to my domain!" he says grandly.  He smiles at me.  "I so do hope you'll enjoy your stay, Joey-boy, for you – yes, you, my dear boy! – and Kaiba-boy shall be my honoured guests from now until... well, _forever_, really!"  He claps his hands.  "This will be great fun!"

We were so damn close!  NO!  _NO!_

THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING!

I scream.  There's a rush of power and it turns into a roar.

I shake my head to clear my mind and Bunnies go flying all over the place.  I must've swung my head in a big arc.

I've turned into the Red Eyes Black Dragon.

They're all running away from me now.  Instinct tells me to take a deep breath... and let loose.

I hit Pegs-Bunny on my first shot.  All that's left are his smoking rabbit ears.

I don't want to hit Seto with my fire, so I use my claws to shred the ones that have him.  I dig him outta there and he's worn out but okay.

The whole friggin' world starts to crumble down, sky included.  It's breaking up like a jigsaw puzzle.  We'll never make it out in time even if we're running.

I flap my wings.

Well, why not?  It should work.

_Seto, get on._

He stumbles over to me.  "Joey, do you even know what you're doing?"

_SIT YOUR FUCKING ASS DOWN ON MY BACK, SETO KAIBA!_

He leaps on and puts his legs on either side of my neck.  He shifts a little.  "Ready."

_Good._

I launch myself into the sky, or what's left of it.  Look left, look right, and there's the door out.  I flap for all I'm worth.  It gets easier and easier as I go.

"Joey, _door!_"

There's no way I'm gonna fit through that dinky little door.  Well, too freakin' bad, I'm gonna go through it anyway.

I break it down with my head and rip up the frame so it's a little bigger.  I bust through.

The Bunnies are right on my tail.  There's millions of them.  Millions.  I might be strong, but those things can still smother me.

I follow my cloth trail out into the 'main' soul room.  Every single monster I saw before is out and howling for Seto.  The Funny Bunnies are still after us, screaming "Hey, Kaiba!  Hey, Kaiba!"

"Joey, maybe I should just stay-"

_SHUT.  UP._

I start flying again, following the bits of ripped up clothes, crashing into stairs, smashing down walls, clawing at anything that gets in my way.  I slam headfirst into the door to the real world.

Seto gasps and wakes up on the hospital bed.  I end up on the floor, looking like me again.  The Red Eyes Black Dragon card's floating in the air.  A Funny Bunny springs out of it, but somebody mutters something in Egyptian at it and the cartoon bursts into flame and disappears.  The card drops on the floor and acts like a normal card.

We're safe.

I get up and turn around.  "Thanks, Ya..."

Yami Bakura smiles.  "You're welcome."

******************************************************************************


	36. Well, That Clears That Up

**Summary:**  Tragedy strikes.  Joey Wheeler is gone forever.  Or is he?  Joey POV.  Post Duelist Kingdom AU.  Is sort of Seto/Joey shounen-ai.

**Author's Notes:**  Well, I thought I'd try writing a YuGiOh fic.  And it's still going.  And whoa, still going.  But it'll be over very soon!

Over 1100 reviews!  Thanks for reading, thanks even more for reviewing ^_^  I finally found the time to do this chapter.  Thanks for (im)patiently waiting!  The story's mostly over now, and the next chapter will probably be for wrap-up.

AG the master:  The Bunnies represent Pegasus, and it looks like Kaiba thinks about him a lot.  This may have made them show up in the soul room.  Funny Bunny will not be making an appearance in this story again.

bigfuzzydiceperson:  It wasn't licensed yet when I saw it.  I was a member of an anime club and they got it off IRC or something ^_^

Exodia Himself:  With his luck, it'd probably break his jaw or something.

Jay Kamiya:  Why?  Because it represented Kaiba, and the poor guy's been falling apart recently.

Jou-pup:  In order:  Yes, because he was in a good mood, because he wants something, I got hit with a plot mallet, life is as life does, yes, and maybe.

Julia:  Well, it shouldn't be a huge surprise in this fic since I've had the Seto/Joey warning in there since Day 1.  If you don't like him making out with Joey, I'm sure there are lots of people making Kaiba gay by sticking him with Yami, Yuugi, Malik, Pegasus, etc.  And of course there's some straight fics out there too.

Kaori:  Probably no more limey goodness, sorry :(

Katsumi-chan:  If you knew that giant killer rabbits could attack you at any moment, would you be able to enjoy anything?

Kimmie:  The nurse ended up the same way everybody else in the hospital did... poor nurse.

pokeih:  It was supposed to be ^_^

shitsumon:  I didn't know about the uncle thing.  Weird.

Taito_Kisses:  Thanks for the plushie!  Now I have two ^_^

The End is near!  End of the story, that is.  Looks like it did turn Seto/Joey after all.  Some people liked that, some people didn't, oh well.  It was supposed to be Seto/Joey from the very start, but the plot took over and obvious romance just didn't fit in.  I hope what I ended up doing didn't totally wreck everything ^_^;;;

**Warnings:**  Character death (sort of), language, angst, a little Seto/Joey.

**Disclaimers:**  I don't own YuGiOh or any other brand names you might come across.  No Millennium Anythings were harmed in the making of this fic.

**************************************************************************

**Being Dead Ain't Easy**

**Chapter Thirty-Six:  Well, That Clears That Up**

**************************************************************************

"Bakura!" I snarl.

He leans down and picks up my card before I can stop him.  Where the hell's Yami!?

Lying in a heap on the floor.  "YAMI!"  I run over to him.  He's alive, but knocked out.  "What kinda freaky magic did you use on him, Bakura!?"

"I walked up behind the stupid pharaoh and hit him over the head with a food tray while he was busy glowering at the Priest.  Sometimes, physical violence works just as well as any spell."  I can see the bump on Yami's head.  It doesn't look too bad, but he'll be out for a while.

"Priest."  Yami Bakura heads for Seto and ignores me.  "You know what I want."

Seto struggles to sit up, bandages and all.  He looks awful; really different from his soul room self.  I keep forgetting how bashed up he really is.  "You tried to kill me."

"It wasn't personal, my dear Priest.  Next time, don't get between me and my Millennium Puzzle."

_His_ Puzzle?  "Yuugi's Millennium Puzzle, ya mean."

He smirks.  "...For now."

Seto lets it go.  "Can you at least wait until I'm out of the hospital?"

"I think that it would be in your best interest to come with me now, Priest.  It is time for you to give me your company."  He plays with the Red Eyes.  "If you don't wish to do so right now, well, these flimsy cards are so very, very fragile."

What would happen to me if he ripped it up?  Would it do anything to Seto?

He narrows his eyes.  "Is that a threat?"

The bastard just smiles.  "There's a taxi waiting outside for us."

I feel bad about leaving Yami lying there like that, but Seto needs all the help he can get.  Yami Bakura gives him back his clothes - he probably swiped them from somewhere - and helps him out of the hospital.  I don't know what that guy did, but nobody's trying to stop us.

We all pile into the taxi and head for Kaiba Corp.  It's a bit of a long ride, so we try our best to get over Yami Bakura's threats.  Me and Seto ask him a bunch of questions... and he answers them.  I guess bashing Yami over the head and getting Kaiba Corp. on the same day put him in a good mood or something.

Why did the soul room go all weird?

"The soul room is a reflection of the self.  I can only assume that the Priest has, shall we say, _issues_."

But it wasn't that bad the first time!

"Your rooms are merged, yes?  Perhaps the person who enters first influences the landscape the most, but only for that visit."

So what, it's gonna change every single time?

"Depending on who enters."  A laugh.  "I am feeling generous, so I shall give you some advice:  Never let the Priest enter first, dead man.  If the creature that tried to escape with you is any indication of what happened in there, I suggest that you never let him back in at all."

Yeah, about that...

"That card is no longer simply a card.  It has been infused with the energies from three Millennium Items.  I am not surprised that it is able to grant figments of your imagination some sort of existence.  The card may have other abilities, as well.  Though it is not a Millennium Item, this card may still be quite... interesting.  Not that I would take it from you, of course."

It's quiet for a while.  Yami Bakura looks at me.  "Not that I really care, but shouldn't you find something less... mangled... to wear?  I find your appearance somewhat offensive."

I look down.  Ripped up pants.  Ripped up trench coat where the Funny Bunnies got me.

Yami Bakura flashes the card at me.  "Well?"

I go back into the card.  No monsters.  It really was all Seto's fault.  No way is he coming back here.

All the ripped up stuff I left last time is gone, so it looks like I'm gonna need new shoes and socks, too.  The stairs aren't moving all over the place now and I find the bedroom in less than a minute.  I'd explore some more, but I really don't wanna leave Seto alone with that guy.  I find some clothes that don't look too much like Seto's; white T-shirt, jeans, socks, and boots that are just a little too big for me.  Good enough.  I come back out.

Looks like nothing exciting happened while I was gone.  Seto frowns.  "Those are mine, Joey."

"Not anymore."

The taxi stops.

Kaiba Corp. is swarming with cops and reporters, but Seto Kaiba just ignores all of them while we head up the stairs to his office.  We don't take any elevators this time.

"What happened here, Priest?"

Seto snorts.  "Some fool lost his balance and fell off the top floor."  Well, that's one way of putting it.  "It happens more often than you'd think."

Yami Bakura frowns but doesn't say anything.

We finally make it to the office.  Seto sits down behind his desk and makes a bunch of phone calls and huge stacks of official-looking paper are brought in.  Yami Bakura pulls up a chair and sits down across from him.  They start talking business, and I sorta zone out after ten minutes.  Seto knows this stuff more than I do.

It's really gonna happen.  Kaiba Corp.'s going to Bakura.  Yami Bakura.  I wonder how Ryou's gonna handle it when he finds out?  Maybe he'll just give it back, but I'm guessing Yami Bakura's not gonna let that happen.

What'll Seto do when he's outta the job?  Maybe some kinda desk job, I guess.  He'll probably work his way back up to CEO of some other company and then take over the world or something.  I don't exactly see him waiting tables or flipping burgers.  He's better than that, but it'd do his ego some good.  I mean, that guy needs to do something about that massive attitude problem.  Problems.  Pick one.

I guess I'll have to work on them, one by one.  It's not like I want to totally change him.  Seto Kaiba is Seto Kaiba.  It's just that I want him to be nice to somebody besides Mokuba and me.  If you can call that 'nice', I mean.  He's really not that rotten a guy sometimes.  Maybe he'll loosen up a little when he doesn't have to worry about Kaiba Corp. all the time.

Seto stands up.  "It will take a few weeks for all the paperwork to go through, but Kaiba Corp. is basically yours now.  Do what you want with it."

"It was a pleasure doing business with you, Seto Kaiba."  Yami Bakura picks up his copy of the legal stuff.  He tosses my Red Eyes Black Dragon over his shoulder on his way out.  Seto catches it.

It's just me and him now.

Awkward silence.  The king of 'em all.

Seto coughs.  Gestures at me to sit where Yami Bakura was before.  I guess he actually wants to talk about it.  Us.  It.  That _thing_.  Well, if he's gonna give it a shot, I guess I will too.

"Joey, when we were... ah... fighting in the soul room over your continued presence, you asked me a question.  Do you remember?"

Fighting.  Last I heard, it was called 'sexual harassment', pal.  Or worse.

"You harassed me back, so you can't really preach at me, Wheeler."  He glares at me.  Forgot about the mind reading.  It's not fair I can't read his mind right back.  Reading his mind would really help me out right about now. "My original intention was simply to disgust you enough to make you leave, but I got... carried away."

"_Carried away!?_  That's way past 'carried away', Kaiba!"

"Forget that," he growls.  "Do you remember that question you asked me afterwards?"

The question.  "Yeah, I remember."  It was the same question he asked me.  Why did we do it?  Me, I'm thinking that it was some sorta alpha male dominance thing that went weird.  I mean, I was kinda stressed out and I've been not-hating Seto for a while now, and he kissed me first so I didn't really start anything.  Just because I don't want the guy to get hurt doesn't mean I like him.  Okay, I like him, but I don't _like_ like him, got it?  I mean, I like Yuugi, but that's totally different.  He's my friend.

Seto blinks.  "You kissed Yuugi?"

I almost fall off my chair.  "NO!"

He ignores me.  "I wonder how that would work, seeing that he only comes up to your waist, not including his hair..."  He smirks.  "However, that's about the right height to-"

Not funny.  "Watch it, Kaiba."

He drops the smirk when he sees the look on my face and just... stares at me, thinking.

If he's gonna say anything else about me and Yuugi, I don't wanna hear it.  "So what about that question?  You've got an answer for me?"

He does a slow nod, still thinking.  I've got a feeling he's not cooking up another insult.  Good.  Or not good, 'cause that means we're gonna Talk About It.

Seto looks at the card he's got in his hand.  He comes to a decision and gets up.

I get up too as he walks around the desk and stands in front of me.  I watch as he uses one hand to fiddle around with that Duel Monsters card thing he has around his neck.

"Seto, whatcha doing?"

He grumbles something about the hinges being stuck, but he finally gets it to open up.  I always thought that the thing was some kinda tacky 'I'm King of Duel Monsters' symbol, but it's not.

It's a locket.  With an old photo of Mokuba inside.

"This is my answer.  A part of it."

He puts my card on the inside cover of his locket so that the Red Eyes Black Dragon is on one side and Mokuba's on the other.

It's a perfect fit.

He closes it and gives the locket a shake to make sure nothing falls out.  "Don't go around thinking that I roll around on the floor kissing my little brother, though.  This is different."

Well, duh.  Yuck.  "Ya don't say...  Just so ya know, I don't do that with my little sis, either."  Or _anybody_, now that I think about it.  Just...

I'll freak out later when he's not standing there listening in.

"So we understand each other, then."

"...Yeah."

Well, no, but we're getting there.

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	37. Epilogue: The End, The Beginning, Whatev...

**Summary:**  Tragedy strikes.  Joey Wheeler is gone forever.  Or is he?  Joey POV.  Post Duelist Kingdom AU.  Is sort of Seto/Joey shounen-ai.

**Author's Notes:**  Well, I thought I'd try writing a YuGiOh fic.  And it's DONE!

Wow, this thing got over 1200 reviews!  Thirty-seven chapters... Thanks to everyone for reading this story!

bigfuzzydiceperson:  In order:  I rather like Joey.  And Seto.  Then Yuugi, Yami, and Yami B.

DaggerZero:  This is the very last chapter.  It's over :(

Dil:  Katsuya is his given name.  I got the sub a few days ago and heard Jounouchi's full name said.  Jounouchi is definitely his family name, no doubt about it!

Luki Dimension:  Errr...  Kaiba worked around it.  Or I can go by the sub and say that no heir was necessary ^_^;;

Machi*Gai:  Over 4 hours...

Well, it's been fun.  Painful, but fun ^_^

**Warnings:**  Character death (sort of), language, angst, a little Seto/Joey.

**Disclaimers:**  I don't own YuGiOh or any other brand names you might come across.  However, thousands and thousands of microscopic bacteria were squashed, maimed, and ruthlessly murdered in the making of this fic.  BWAHAHAHA!!!

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**Being Dead Ain't Easy**

**Epilogue:  The End, The Beginning, Whatever**

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So what happened after me and Seto's little chat?

Nothing.

That's right, nothing.  Zip.  Nada.  He treats me the same way he always does and I treat him the same way right back.  And if he sometimes gets that unreadable look on his face when he's watching me, well, that's his problem.

And if I sometimes wonder what would've happened if we'd done... that... someplace else with no Funny Bunnies, that's my problem.

We're both seriously messed up.

Seto got himself a new locket.  Custom made.  It looks just like his old one, but the inside cover's made so that there's no way my card can fall out.  He can slide it out if he wants, though.  We've been experimenting with the soul room and stuff and it's easier to control what happens if Seto's holding the Red Eyes in his hand.

He's still waiting for my answer.  He sorta told me how he feels, so now I've gotta do the same.  When I know for sure what I think of him, I'll tell him.  Seto being Seto, he's probably just gonna pluck it outta my head, anyway.

We decided to not tell my sis about me.  Serenity can't see me or hear me, and it's just gonna hurt her if somebody comes up and tells her I'm still around.  She's just gotten over my death and it'll be too hard on her.  And if I'm not gonna talk to her, no way am I gonna tell Mom and Dad.

Mokuba's real happy his brother's okay and out of the hospital.  He's glad I'm okay, too.  I'm sorta like an invisible big brother to him now.  If I really try, he can sorta hear me.  I think it's 'cause he's related to Seto.  If Seto concentrates, Mokuba can almost see me, too.

He can't do it for Tristan.  I wish he could hear me or something, but he can't no matter what Seto does.  Just as well, 'cause Tristan hates the guy.  They can barely stand each other long enough for Seto to do his concentration thing.  If my other friends are around, those two get along okay, but if they're alone, they stay far, far away from each other.  If he sees Tristan coming, Seto goes somewhere else.  Seto says it's because he doesn't want me screaming at him for the rest of his life if he ends up 'accidentally' killing Tristan.

Accident.  Right.

"That's right, Joey.  Nobody would say differently.  I have, ah, _experience_ in these matters."

The mind reading thing is still a pain.  Seto can read me whenever he feels like it, but I can't pick up his thoughts unless he's sending them to me or he forgets I'm there and gets all moody about life and everything.  I'm trying to get Yuugi and Yami to teach me how to block Seto, but it's not going too good.  Yami says I've got an 'open' kinda personality.  Locking everything away just isn't easy for me.  Seto's a natural at it 'cause he's a freak.  That's what me and Yami think.  Yuugi says we're being mean.  He doesn't get that I mean 'freak' in the nicest possible way.  I mean it like...  like...

Okay, I'm just being mean.  Seto Kaiba is a freak.  Yami agrees with me.

Yami's fine, by the way.  Yami Bakura really did just bash him on the head, no magic, no nothing.  Yami growls whenever I try to ask him how some guy could've snuck up on him.  He's not telling.  He just says that, one day, Yami Bakura's gonna pay dearly.

Me and Mokuba were watching TV the other day and Ryou Bakura was on the news.  He was looking pretty confused, surrounded by microphones.

_A reporter shoves a mike in front of the guy's face.  "Mr. Bakura, how are you planning to restructure Kaiba- sorry, I mean Bakura Corp., and bring it back from imminent collapse?"_

_Another reporter.  "Excuse me, Mr. Bakura, but there are some unsubstantiated reports that you were involved in the escape of Thomas Morrison and that you were also involved in the circumstances surrounding his 'suicide'.  What do you think of these allegations?"_

_"It has been rumored that you used physical intimidation to force Mr. Seto Kaiba, former CEO of Kaiba Corp., to give you his company.  Is this true?"_

_The Millennium Ring flashes and Yami Bakura glares straight into the video camera, at the millions watching this on TV.  All the reporters start backing away._

_"I hate you, Seto Kaiba.  I won't forget this," he hisses.  "Keep your precious company, watch the damned thing rot, and pray that we never meet again, for I will teach you the meaning of the word 'PAIN'!"_

_The Ring flashes again and Ryou's back in control.  He blinks.  "Why are you all looking at me like that?"_

So yeah, Seto Kaiba got his company back.  He wasn't exactly jumping with joy when he found out, but he did smirk and go _"heh"_.

Right now I'm sitting across from CEO Seto Kaiba with my feet on his desk while he types away on the laptop.  Kaiba Corp.  Sounds better than Bakura Corp., if you ask me.  The company's still going down the drain, though.

"Seto, whatcha gonna do about it?"  I don't have to tell him what I'm talking about.  He can read my mind.  Saves time.

He finishes whatever he's doing and closes the laptop.  He tries to look friendly.  Smiles.  "Joey, are you busy Friday night?  Around seven?  Maybe earlier?"

Whoa.  Maybe he _can't_ read my mind.  Is he asking me out!?  Would it count as necrophilia?  Me being dead's not such a big deal anymore, but...  do I _want_ him to be asking me out?  "Uh... maybe?"

"Good."  Seto pulls a stack of computer printout outta his desk.  "I suspect that these employees are the ones sabotaging my company, providing confidential information and such to my rivals.  According to my research, it usually happens around the end of the week.  Search their homes and tell me if you find any evidence."

Oh.

...He wants me to spy on people!?  "I can't just go around breakin' into people's homes!" I yell.

"Why not?  If they're innocent, they have nothing worth hiding.  Just let me know if they have anything suspicious.  If they don't, keep what you see to yourself."

This sounds pretty wrong to me.  If I get caught, I could go to jail or something!

...Hang on.

Seto smirks.  "I don't think getting caught is going to be a problem, Joey."

I'm invisible.  I can get away with almost anything.  I can... 

What am I thinking!?  "It's still wrong, Seto!  Even if nobody finds out."

He lifts an eyebrow.  "Do you think I care?"

Nope.

...It's not _that_ wrong in the big scheme of things, now that I think about it.  Go in, look around, leave.  It's something to do.  It might save the company.  I'll be helping Seto.  I'll be helping him a lot.

"How many suspects have ya got?"

I can almost hear the 'flush' as my morals go down the toilet.

Seto leans back in his chair.  "When Bakura had my company, the confusion was enough to buy us some time."  He nods at the stack.  It's about the size of a telephone book.  "We'll do those on Friday and over the weekend.  We can work on another set next week."

I take a look at the top sheet.  Tiny, tiny print.  There's gotta be over five hundred names in the whole stack.  "You're crazy."

"Mmm."  He puts it away and checks his watch.  "Your friends are probably waiting for us."

Oh man, I totally forgot!  I leap outta my chair.  Worry about work later.  "What are ya waitin' for, Seto!?  Let's _go!_"

"I have to pack up first, puppy-boy.  You might be eager to see them, but I'm not.  They're your friends, not mine."  But he still puts his stuff away as fast as he can.

Five minutes later and we're outta there and on our way to Burger World.

I promised Yuugi, after all.

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**The End.**

Well, this story is complete.  Unless something major comes to my attention, I'm not touching it again.  It is FINISHED!  I've gone back and fixed up some minor typos, maybe added a few words here and there, fiddled around with Joey's accent so that it's a tad more consistent, stuff like that.

Sequel...?  I'll think about it.  I really need to recover first, so don't expect anything.  I also want to try writing something for a contest first...

Any questions?  Email me ^_^


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